Total Drama Galore
by elephantburch
Summary: 48 contestants, one sadistic host, a whole lot of drama! These campers will face heart break, physical pain, and national humiliation. Ch 5: racing down a mountain proves to quite dangerous, yet hilarious.
1. Day 1 Part 1: A helluvalot of people

**Disclaimer- **I own absolutely nothing, yeah, I know … sad day. Please do nothing that these characters do. Well, nothing extreme. I guess you fcould do the breathing part. But only do it sparingly.

**Author's note – **This is yet another addition to the ever growing category of OC/TDI cast competition fics. There are forty eight contestants, and there are going to be more than fifty challenges, most of which are planned. If you want to know what the new contestants look like, follow the link on my profile to my deviantart profile. Most of them are up.

**Romance side note: **all canon couples are intact for now. That means there will be **Geoff/Bridgette, LeShawna/Harold, Duncan/Gwen, **and** Lindsay/Tyler**. Of course, other romances are sure to blossom, while some are bound to crash and burn.

**Time setting: **This takes place after TDWT (note: I originally wrote this story as after TDI, so there may be some continuity problems in the first two chapters)

_**note: the winner of TDWT may be revealed, read at your own risk**_

**Rating- **This is a T rated story, and it is rated that for a reason. This story will contain peril, craziness, innuendoes, violence, a little gore, virtual death, more innuendos, A very OPEN character, back-stabbing, flirting, language, Izzy, bullying, some bad weather (no joke, I actually saw that on a movie rating), fictional creatures, kissing, and some thematic elements.

**Final Author's note- **This chapter is dedicated to Haily, as this is her birthday present…and yes, the character Haily is based on her. It is also dedicated to Sabrina, who the character Sabrina is based off, as it was also her birthday recently, though I am counting the next chapter as her present.

There's nothing else for me to say, though I'm pretty sure you all skipped this anyway.

* * *

It was a sight that was renowned around the world. People recognized it. They even longed for it in the long months of late winter and spring. It was the image of Chris McLean standing at the edge of the dock of Wawanakwa Island.

The host smiled his twenty-six thousand, seven hundred and seven dollar smile. "Welcome," He said, "To Total Drama Galore! The next installment in the Total Drama franchise! This season, we've pulled out all the stops. We're bringing back all the old contestants, thanks to some fine maneuvering by our lawyers. We're also going to bring on twenty-two new contestants!" Chris chuckled his signature laugh.

"That's right, folks, this season; we have forty-eight contestants. Of course with that many contestants, our kind hearted producers decided that we should do something about what the victors would get. That's right, victors. This season, we'll have two winners. Shocker right?"

"Not really. I knew you cut my paycheck for some reason." Chef mumbled.

"Why are you even here? Aren't you supposed to be fixing a confessional somewhere?" Chris snapped. Chef gave the host a blurred out hand gesture on his way to said outhouse.

"As I was saying before my airtime was so rudely interrupted, we'll have two winners, and both of them will win two million dollars, each!" The handsome host paused for a roar of celebration, then realized that it would never come. "Oh crap, I was supposed to wait till those other people were here to say that. Speaking of those other people, here comes the first one now."

Chris locked eyes with the contestant as he jumped off the boat as it cruised by.

"Hey Harold!" The host shouted. The shout distracted the lanky nerd, causing him and most of his luggage to miss the dock and go plunging into the depths below. Only his keyboard made it safely onto the dock.

Chris stood there in mock shock, "I probably should have waited to say…" Chris was never able to say anything because a fist clanged against the back of his head with all the force the owner could muster.

"That's for making me come back." Gwen spat as she walked over to the other end of the dock.

"You know you could have just cursed me out instead of resorting to hitting me." Chris complained, rubbing the back of his head.

"You're just lucky I didn't have any shears ready, otherwise you'd be bald right now." Gwen stated. The narcissistic host yelped in fear and covered his most prized possession with his hands.

"Now that's an interesting sight." LeShawna said as she got off her boat. "Bout time that man felt the fear we had to deal with."

"Hey LeShawna," Gwen said as she hugged her friend.

"Hey Girl," LeShawna hugged back. When the two let go, LeShawna noticed her boyfriend's keyboard lying on the dock. "Yo, you seen my man?"

"Nope."

"Oh yeah he went …. Somewhere." Chris said, forgetting where the nerd was, seeing as how that fact had nothing to do with hm.

A piercing shriek echoed over the island. Well, to be specific it was two shrieks, harmonizing into one. The next boat pulled up carrying a squealing Katie and Sadie.

"Oh my gosh, Sadie, we're back, I can't believe it, we're back!" Katie squealed.

"Oh I know right. This year we are so going all the way! No mean CIT is going to vote me off." Sadie exclaimed. The two BFFs grabbed their luggage and ran off the boat, squealing the whole time.

"Katie, Sadie, calm down." Chris said. Sadly, the twins couldn't hear him over their squealing. After a minute, LeShawna couldn't stand it anymore. The large sister walked over to the best friends and slapped them both clean across the face.

"OW!" Katie exclaimed as she rubbed Sadie's sore cheek.

"That wasn't very nice," Sadie said, rubbing Katie's sore cheek.

"At least she didn't throw you off a cliff. Not that she'd be able to lift you." Heather said as she got off her boat. Last season's winner flipped her stylish ponytail.

"Heather, good to see you again," Chris cheered. The host only received a death glare in return.

"Why is she even here?" Gwen asked, "doesn't she have enough money?"

"Shut it, Weird Goth Girl," Heather snapped, "If you'll remember, that home-schooled troll stole my money then dove into a volcano."

"Ah, dramatic teens with all of your dramatic conflicts, how I have missed ye." Chris muttered.

Another boat pulled up to the dock, carrying a bigheaded bookworm, who, as his nickname would suggest, was reading a book.

"Noah, awesome to have you back," Chris chimed. Noah barely looked up from his book to see the unsurprising smile on Chris's face. He just walked on past.

"Hi Noah," Katie and Sadie chanted.

This caught the egghead off guard. He looked questionably up at the two similarly dressed females. "Hi," he said monotonously.

"See, I told you saying hi would be pointless," Sadie scolded Katie.

"Well sorry," the skinny BFF said. "I was just trying t be friendly."

"Oh please, I know what you were trying to do. It was all you could talk about the whole boat ride over. You were trying too…." Katie clapped her hands over her best friend's mouth, silencing her.

The next boat came pulled up to the side of the dock. A loud BONK was heard when it came to a stop. A brunette CIT gracefully walked off the boat.

"Courtney good to see you, so how are you and-"

"Chris, I would suggest that you check everything that's under the dock. It felt like the boat hit something when it stopped, I'd hate for you to have a lawsuit on your hands," the CIT smiled.

"Oh that was probably just Harold coming up for air," Chris shrugged, remembering the fate of the lanky nerd.

"That was probably what?" LeShawna shrieked. The large sister charged toward the water and jumped in.

Gwen, Katie, and Sadie watched the water worriedly. A bubble floated up to the surface, and then another.

Courtney struggled to hide her grin. Noah happened to notice.

"Wow Courtney, try not to look so anxious," he begged sarcastically.

"The way I see it, that freak was the reason I was voted off the first season," She chirped. "It's nice to see karma doing its job"

"Oh, you're not going to go all psycho to get revenge on him are you?" Gwen asked, "You have had two seasons to get that over with"

"No," the CIT barked, "I'm saving all the psyco revenges plots for you, you boyfriend stealing, Goth obsessed freak!"

Heather, in an act of kindness that is so rare, we're glad we caught it on camera, wrapped her arms around Courtney's waist before the dark skinned girl could claw Gwen's eyes out.

"Wow, somebody sure knows how to hold a grudge," Heather groaned.

"Thanks...Heather," Gwen muttered, confused.

"Don't get used to it, Gwen. I'm just doing this because you might be on my team and I don't want to start at a disadvantage." The raven-haired beauty said.

"LeShawna sure has been under there a long time," Sadie mumbled, completely ignoring the conflict behind her.

"You don't think she drowned did you?" Katie asked.

Sadie gasped. "That would mean that both LeShawna and Harold drowned!"

"Hmmm, a double drowning would be good for ratings," Chris mused. "Especially if one was fueled by hormones."

"Why exactly would hormones cause somebody to drown?" A voice asked from behind the host. The voice belonged to a guitar carrying, OCD musician.

"Trent," Chris shouted, "Good to see you, we missed you last season."

"Good to be back, man," Trent said, hi-fiving the host. "Hey Gwen"

"Hey," the Goth replied as she swatted back Courtney's claws.

A loud, hacking cough came from the edge of the dock. "Anybody here know CPR?" LeShawna gasped. The large sister was holding an unconscious Harold in her arms.

"I do," Courtney pointed out, finally calm from her little spell. "It's a mandatory requirement of a CIT."

"Good, now come save Harold."

"Ew, I'm not letting my mouth get anywhere near that thing."

LeShawna started to get frantic, but calming hands held her down.

"Relax LeShawna," Bridgette said, "I'll take care of it." The blonde surfer ("When did she get here?" Trent asked) pumped the nerd's chest thirty times and gave him two breaths of life. The lanky nerd coughed up some water and opened his eyes.

All Harold could see was a blurry vision of a humanoid hunched over him. "Am I in heaven?" he asked.

"Oh, Harold baby, it's okay, LeShawna's here." LeShawna cooed.

Harold, thinking the figure above him was his chocolate goddess, reached up and kissed the unsuspecting Bridgette.

Nobody knew what to do. LeShawna gaped at the sight of her boyfriend kissing another female. Bridgette tried to push away, but Harold thought it was just LeShawna playing hard to get, so he just pulled her closer. Heather wore a surprised yet satisfied smile.

After a moment, Harold pulled away. It was then that he noticed the one he was kissing was not his girlfriend "You're not my luscious LeShawna!" He exclaimed.

"You're darn right that ain't me" The large sister retorted. She turned away, sticking her nose up in the air.

"LeShawna, I can explain, Gosh!" Harold tried to explain what had just occurred, but the large sister was choosing to ignore the nerd.

"And you," LeShawna shouted at Bridgette, jabbing her finger into the surfers chest. "First you make out with Alejandro, then you go after my man. What? Is Geoff not good enough?" Bridgette let out a soft whimper.

Chris smiled gleefully into the camera. "This season is going to be awesome!"

Owen was the next contestant to show up. The big lovable oaf gave a painful bear hug to the two closest people, which was bad news for Katie and Courtney.

"O …. wen … let …. Go." Courtney gasped. The two girls were gasping for air. Sadie was desperately trying to pull away the arm that was suffocating Katie.

"Oh, sorry. I'm just so excited to be back." He whooped.

"Owen, good to have you back, Dude!" Chris cheered. The host and the boy, who had dropped Katie and Courtney, started a complex series of hi-fives, low-fives, and the occasional mid-five.

"Think he'll go far again?" Trent asked the group of contestants.

"Of course he will," Heather scoffed. "He always goes far, he's a fan favorite, or at least the producers think so."

"What makes you say that?"

"How else do you explain Bridgette's vote off the first season? It was a three-way tie so the producers booted Bridgette so they could keep Owen and Duncan. Those two are also the only ones that were brought back the last two seasons. Both obviously fan favorites."

"Good to know. Now I don't have to try as hard," Duncan remarked from behind the Queen Bee.

Heather glared at the delinquent. "Oh look, Mr. Rap-sheet has finally shown up, and here I was hoping you'd have to stay in juvie."

"Actually, he's been rather tame lately," Gwen chimed, "Only broke the law to come see me a few times."

"But haven't you missed me Princess." Duncan said. The Goth smiled and gave the delinquent a light peck on the cheek.

Courtney winced, balling her fists at the sound of her pet name being used on a different girl. Noah was about to point that out, but a horn blared over whatever he said. Cody stepped off the boat. "And that's how you fix the horn with nothing but an I-Phone and a pair of headphones."

"Cody, dude, good to have you back, and don't worry, I made su-"

"Where's Sierra?" Cody asked nervously, looking back and forth for the purple-haired girl.

"That was what I was going to tell you," Chris said through clenched teeth, angered about the interruption. "I made sure Sierra didn't show up until tomorrow."

"Why?"

"I figured it'd be cool to have just the original twenty-two for the first challenge. That, and I couldn't decide what team they went on."

"Ok..." The tech geek droned off. He decided to leave the increasingly awkward conversation with the host and go stand with his fellow competitors. "Hey Gwen," the tech-geek greeted.

"Hey Cody," The Goth said, inching behind Duncan.

"You think he still likes you?" Duncan asked his girlfriend.

"Considering the fact that he still has one of my bras, sucker punched you, and Sierra is kind of pushing him to me, yeah, I think he still has a crush on me." Gwen said scornfully.

"Just let him try to punch me again," Duncan muttered as he pounded his fists.

DJ was the next to arrive. The gentle giant carried bunny (well technically, Bunny 2.0) lovingly in his arms.

"Hey Chris, how's it going?" he asked.

"Good man," the host replied. "Um … You do know that can't come with you, right?"

"What? But I figured it'd be good for bunny to come see his home again."

"No Dude, I mean that." Chris pointed behind DJ. There stood a stout, older African-Canadian woman with long bluish hair under a purple hat with a peacock feather, DJ's mother.

"Who are you referring to as that?" DJ's Mama snapped. "I am a woman and you will refer to me as ma'am." Driving her point home, she smacked the host on the head with her dainty purse. "Now you be good to my little Poopydoo."

The woman gave DJ a good-bye kiss on the cheek which he happily returned. He then waved as the boat sailed away with Mama on deck.

"So DJ, did you bring any food?" Owen asked, rubbing his belly at the thought of some of DJ's famous home-cooking.

"Not with me, but if Chef let's me, I'm sure I can scrounge up some food," the big boy said.

"Cafeteria's off limits," Chris blurted. "can't let any of you in there."

The group of teenagers let out a collective groan.

"What's all the complaining about, eh?" a certain toque wearing teenager asked as he stepped off his boat, a large bulge protruding from his hoodie.

"Hunger," Chris cheered. "Good to see you fully recovered from the zombie state you were in, Ezekiel."

"Yeah, who knoo malnutrition could be so scary, eh," Ezekiel chuckled.

"Um, Ezekiel, Did you get … er … pregnant over the break?" Cody asked incredulously.

The home schooled boy chuckled again. "No way, eh. That's Izzy." He jokingly slapped the bulge, causing the psychotic redhead to come falling out.

"Oh wow!" Izzy said. "No wonder babies stay in there for nine months, it's so cozy." She started to giggle uncontrollably.

"Izzy!" Owen shouted. "Come to Papa."

"Owen, your little girl moved on remember?" The red-head said to her ex-boyfriend.

Ezekiel tried to meander casually over to the rest of the contestants, but only succeeded at looking awkward. "Hey there Bridgette," Ezekiel said, waving to the Surfer. She kindly returned with a death glare. "Yoo're not steell mad aboot the whole guys are better than girls thing are you?"

"Yes, that and the fact that you were the reason we all almost died!"

Before he could react, Ezekiel was suddenly picked up off the dock. "Yeah, and so am I" seethed a voice behind Ezekiel's ear, a voice all the more menacing given the homeschooled boys position.

"Too be fair," Cody piped in, "It was really Chris's fault that we almost died."

Eva, not putting any of what the tech geek said into consideration, threw Ezekiel into the lake. Ezekiel managed to scream something about sharks before he hit the water.

"Eva, you didn't have to do that," Bridgette said to the fitness buff.

"Shut it, Traitor!" she snapped back in return. Bridgette backed away slowly, saying calming statements to the easily angered girl.

"Does she seem a little bit hot headed, or is it just me?" DJ said as he cowered behind Sadie, who was cowering behind Katie, who was cowering behind Cody. So sadly, nobody was cowering very well.

"No, she seems just as rage-a-holic as ever." Noah remarked, "maybe more-so"

Trent tried to say a friendly hello to the Polish-Canadian, but only got a hard kick in the shin.

"Do you think she has some sort of secret kryptonite?" Cody asked.

As if to answer the (more than likely) rhetorical question, sweet dreamy music roared across the island. The next boat pulled up, a shirtless Justin standing on the deck.

The typical shirtless Justin antics ensued. Katie fanned Sadie. Gwen stared at him from the corner of her eye. Owen momentarily forgot how to breathe. Even Eva put on an enthralled smile.

"Justin, I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say we're all happy you were able to come back. Maybe this time you'll actually get to get a few words in." Chris said.

"I did speak quite a bit in the second season," The male model replied.

"You're already up to ten."

"I think he forgot," Trent pointed out.

"Hi Justin," all the contestants with two X chromosomes (with the exception of Izzy and the inclusion of Owen) swooned. Sadie fell backwards, knocking over a newly on the dock Ezekiel.

"Yo dudes!" the next contestant could be heard yelling from his boat. Geoff, the party-loving party animal, danced his way off the boat onto the dock.

"Geoff!" Bridgette screamed. The surfer didn't even give her boyfriend the chance to turn around before she jumped on him and locked-lips.

"Yeah that's right," LeShawna hollered. "Go make out with your own boyfriend."

Geoff pulled away to see his girlfriend blushing furiously. "What's she talking about Bridge?"

"N-nothing," she stuttered.

"That's cool." The party animal then returned to making-out with his girlfriend.

"Aw, they look tho thweet." Beth chimed as she stepped off her boat.

Beth gave all of her old teammates (minus Heather) a quick hug.

"Hey girl, why do you have braces again?" LeShawna asked as the farm girl hugged her.

"A little farming acthident, nothing to worry about!" Beth said as she took her place at the edge dock. Suddenly a wet hand reached up and grabbed the farm girl's ankle. Beth, taken by surprise, screamed.

"Beth, calm down, eh," Ezekiel pleaded, as he was the one that had grabbed her ankle. The braces wearing girl didn't hear him and started to blindly kick him in the face.

Cody saw what it was that was making all of the commotion, and ran to the aid of his fellow outcast.

"Beth you need to stop!" the tech geek ordered. She didn't hear him and continued to keep on screaming. Cody had to think quickly on his feet before Ezekiel suffered some serious brain damage. He decided he would do something he had only dreamed about, kiss a girl that wasn't Sierra.

The brunet grabbed Beth's cheeks and planted a big one right on her lips. The farm girl suddenly calmed down and let out a long sigh. Ezekiel took this time to quickly get up on the dock.

"This just isn't my day, eh," the prairie boy complained as he squeezed water out of his jacket.

Cody finally let go of Beth, who was slightly dazed. He pointed at Ezekiel. "You owe me," he grumbled.

"Get away from me!" a voice on the next boat shrieked. Everybody immediately recognized it as Lindsay's voice.

"Lindsay wait, it's me Tyler!" another, deeper voice that belonged to Tyler yelled.

The two teenagers appeared on the dock, the blonde beauty running away from the tracksuit wearing jock.

"What's up with Blondie?" Duncan whispered in Gwen's ear.

"I have no idea, but knowing Lindsay, it's probably something stupid," the Goth muttered.

The boat came to a stop, allowing the sprinting teens to depart. Lindsay cowered behind a still dazed Beth.

"Lindsay, what's going on girl?" LeShawna asked.

"I was just sitting on the boat," the blonde sniffled. "and all of a sudden, Taylor tried to kiss me."

LeShawna glared at the jock, causing him to jump to his defense. "The producers shoved us on the same boat for some reason. I haven't seen Lindsay since the end of last season so I figured I'd be a good boyfriend and put my arm around her shoulders. Then she just started to freak out."

"But you're not my boyfriend. My boyfriend's name is Tyler, not Taylor."

"Um, Girl," LeShawna began. "He is your boyfriend. You just forgot his name … again."

"Ohhhhhhhh, sorry Taylor … er … I mean Tyler." The blonde beauty smiled. Tyler smiled in return and gave her a hug.

"Awww," Katie and Sadie cooed.

"Chris, now that we're all here, can we go ahead and start the first challenge?" Gwen asking. "I want to hurry up and vote some certain people off." She didn't even try to hide the fact that she was staring at Heather, just as Courtney didn't hide the fact that she was staring at Gwen.

"but what about Al?" Owen asked.

"What about him?" Heather snapped.

"He'll be joining us tomorrow, after the first challenge is done." Chris chuckled. "Ok, now is when I'm supposed to make the big announcement."

Most of the contestants gulped, because they knew any big announcement Chris had to make meant calling the local funeral home to set up arrangements, just to be on the safe side.

"Well you see, the producers and I decided that this wouldn't be as exciting of a season if we just brought back all you old stinkers. That's why we're also going to have twenty-two new contestants!"

Silence was all the contestants could muster.

"Come on now, it isn't that bad."

"Seriously?" Noah asked. "Is all of us trying to tear each other limb from limb not enough for you?"

"Nope"

Noah stared blankly at the host. "Should have seen that coming."

"Oh, this should be good," Heather muttered.

"Um, Chris," Courtney said, raising her hand like the good girl she thinks she is. "If there are forty-four of us, where are we all going to sleep? You're not seriously considering shoving all of us in those sucky cabins?"

"Who said we're staying here?"

"If we're not staying, why are we even here?"

"This season, we're going to be staying at a quaint little bed and breakfast. From there, everyday we have a challenge, we'll take all of the remaining contestants to the location of that day's challenge. Today's just so happens to be on this island."

"What's today's challenge?" Duncan asked hopefully.

"Ha, like I'd be twisted enough to tell you before the noobz get here."

"eh, it was worth a shot." The convict muttered.

The first boat appeared on the horizon. The contestants waited with baited breath to meet the first of their new competitors.

When the boat was almost at the dock, Cody made a life-saving observation. "Um, guys, the boat's speeding up."

Everybody else noticed this fact. That, and the fact that it was heading straight for the dock.

"Everybody, off the dock!" Courtney yelled, leading the way to safety.

"Out of the way," Chris hollered as he pushed the teenagers out of his way, "My hair isn't bred to survive in the murky lake water."

The boat collided with the dock, causing it to crumble into the water. Only Chris and a few contestants made it to the beach in time, everybody else fell into the lake water.

"LeShawna," Harold gasped, "You saved me, now it's time for me to save you." The lanky nerd charged forward into the water.

A feminine figure appeared on the deck of the yacht. "Rocki," Chris shouted to the figure, "What happened?" The host cupped his hands on his ear but couldn't make out what the girl was saying.

Chris pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Yeah," he said, "when you pull up, throw your kid over board and tell the girl on the other boat she has to swim to shore, and tell the others to do the same."

Just as he hung up, the next boat pulled up beside the first. The captain marched out of the cabin, carrying a flailing figure that he threw into the water. Yelling could be heard followed by a splash, and then another, presumably from the other contestant landing in the water..

By the time the two new contestants got to the beach, almost all of the original campers had made it to shore. Only Gwen, Izzy, and Duncan were missing.

Chris marched up to one of the two new girls. This one was wearing a green top with black pants, her hair blonde with black strands. "Rocki, what happened? He asked.

"I was talking to the boat's captain and offered him one of the cookies I made to give to everybody. Apparently he really nasty hazelnut allergy and passed out. So I decided I'd try pulling up the boat and come to a nice stop right next to the dock." She looked back at the wreckage of the dock. "It didn't really work out."

"You think," Gwen spat out as she crawled out of the water.

"We need you to go and get Chef and tell him he needs to come and start building a new dock. We're only renting the place and the landlord won't be too happy if there's no dock when we leave."

"Ok," Rocki said. The teenager took off in down the beach at a mild sprint.

"It's the other way," Chris yelled.

"Oh, right"

The other twenty-three teenagers watched Rocki as she ran to the cafeteria. "Who wath that?" Beth asked.

"That, my dear campers, was Rocki."

"Well, she's certainly off to a wonderful start," Noah remarked. He was flipping through the pages of his novel, each page ruined by the fall in the water.

"Does anybody see Izzy? Maybe finding her will make her want to date me again." Owen said frantically. The big boy searched for his missing ex-girlfriend under pieces of debris that were obviously too small to hide the psycho.

"I'm right here, Owen," Izzy said. The psycho was piggy-backing on Duncan's back, much to the delinquent's chagrin.

"Would you get off of me!" He shouted, "and no, you can't take my shirt."

"But why?"

"Because it's weird"

"Aww, they're flirting," the other new girl cooed as she wrung water out of her reddish-brown hair. "They would make such a cute couple!"

"Excuse me," Courtney said, "what was that?"

"I'm just saying that the two of them would be amazing together. They could go on the run together as fugitives, it would be so romantic."

"And just who are you?"

"This is Fran," Chris said, popping into the conflict like only Chris can.

"Well Fran needs to know that what she is saying is pure nonsense," Courtney said, turning up her nose.

"He's not even your boyfriend," Tyler blurted. "Why are you getting all in a tizzy about it?"

"What? I'm not! I'm just…" Courtney backtracked, "saying that he and Izzy would never work out."

"Well at least she's better for him than you. Thank god he left you for Gwen, at least she's decent for him," Fran retorted. At that, Courtney lost it. The CIT pounced on the newcomer, tackling her to the ground.

"Am I the only one that finds it funny that they're fighting over your boyfriend?" Bridgette asked Gwen, who shrugged.

"WooHoo, cat fight, reow!" Cody exclaimed, imitating cat claws. LeShawna gave him a disappointed look and slapped him over the back of the head.

"What's with those two?" asked an unknown male voice. The contestants turned to see the tallest teenager they had ever seen; even DJ had to tilt his head back.

"Godzilla, everybody run for your lives or he'll squish you like a cockroach!" Izzy screamed as she ran in circles.

"Izzy, calm down," Chris ordered, "it's just James."

"I'll never understand why people feel the need to compare me to a fictional fifty foot reptile." The new boy stated.

"Maybe it has something to do with your height, Dude," Geoff told the giant.

"I fail to see how such a detail could have anything to do with my statement."

"Oh, he's going to be fun," Noah droned.

Rocki, with Chef Hatchet following closely behind her, arrived on the beach. The chef gaped, looking down at his incredibly inadequate tool box, then up at the girl at the carnage. "You did this?" he bellowed.

"I said I was sorry."

"Well tell that to my fingers when I have to pull all the splinters out, Maggot!"

Rocki sulked over to the other contestants. "It's not like you meant to destroy the dock." Sadie said comfortingly. She and her BFF gave the poor girl a comforting massage.

"Yeah, but this always happens. First a tree falls on my house, then my school caught on fire, and now this."

"I'm sure those weren't your fault," Katie chirped.

"Well, I kind of hit the tree with my car, and I dropped a Bunsen burner into the paper recycling. So yeah, they kind of were my fault."

"Wow, aren't you just graceful," Noah murmured.

"Chip, when's the next boat supposed to get here," Lindsay asked.

"First it's Chris, C-H-R-I-S," the host said "and second, it should have been here by now. Why is it so late?"

A hacking cough came from behind the host. "That's because it's never coming," said a new girl. She was on her hands and knees, her dark ponytail dripping on her slashed up top.

"Vanessa, what happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened," the girl seethed. "Your idiotic captain got a call on his cell phone and then just pushed me overboard, yelling something about having to swim to the island! I almost drowned."

"Oh, that's not good," Chris said worriedly. "You wouldn't mind signing a waiver that states you waive all rights to sue would you?"

"She is not going to sign anything," Courtney said. "Not if she's smart that is."

"Bossy girl's right."

"Hey!"

"I'm not signing anything."

"How's this," said Chris. "Either you sign it or I find a loophole to kick you off."

Vanessa took one second to think it over. "Somebody, get me a pen," she demanded.

Chris happily pulled out a pen and waiver, which he had ready in his pocket. "The fact that he has waivers like that ready on the go is very unsettling," Bridgette muttered to Geoff, who nodded in agreement.

While Vanessa signed the waiver, the next boat pulled up, not that anybody noticed. They didn't even notice the boy who pulled himself out of the water and curled up in a ball behind his luggage, inspecting a shiny instrument in a case.

Chris noticed that something was amiss. "Hey Vanessa, wasn't there supposed to be…"

"Nope," Vanessa interrupted.

"But then where's…"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"… Okay …"

The campers, curious about Vanessa's evasiveness and still not noticing the newest addition, carried on light conversations with the few of the new contestants.

James told Owen (simplified from the terms James actually used for the good of the reader) that his body mass index needed to be lowered to prevent heart disease and other illnesses. Owen nodded in agreement, not understanding a word the giant said.

Fran was talking to Bridgette, telling her how she could picture the surfer having a long, happy relationship with Harold. This caused the surfer to look unsettlingly at the nerd, and her boyfriend to give her a puzzled look.

Rocki, trying not to do anything wrong, stood completely still, only breathing when Katie told her to.

Vanessa tried talking to Lindsay about both of their choices in clothing. Anybody watching could see the new girl clenching her fist every time the blonde spoke.

"Look, it'th the next boat," Beth pointed out as the captain shoved the next contestant into the water.

"It's about time, what took it so long?" Duncan asked. Chris shrugged in reply.

LeShawna and Beth went to help the new girl out of the water. Her normally frizzy hair was dampened down on her back and her glasses fogged over. She looked around at the island, slightly confused.

"This isn't a Jonas Brothers concert," she stated.

Courtney gasped. "Chris, did you lie to get people to sign up, again!"

"Maybe," the host murmured, not making eye contact.

"What's your name, honey?" LeShawna asked the still confused girl.

"Miranda"

"Um, Miranda, not that I hate any form of anti-conformitism, but why do you only have one earring?" Gwen asked.

The fan-girl snapped out of confusion. Her hand jumped to the earringless ear. "Oh my Gosh, that was my 'Team Tony' earring! I have to find it." With that, she dove into the water.

"It's just an earring," DJ stated, "Nothing to get in a fuss about."

Miranda popped out of the water. "That is where you are wrong. It is not just an earring, it is a collector's item. I paid forty bucks for that thing and I'll be damned if I'm going to lose it." After that, she popped back in the water.

"Sounds to me like she already lost something," Heather joked, getting some chuckles from her competitors.

Miranda jumped out of the water again. "I found it!" she exclaimed, holding a small, circular object in her hands. She tried to walk to shore, but was dragged under water.

The contestants stared in horror. Bridgette tried to go help her, but Geoff held her back, telling her it was too late.

Suddenly, a boy jumped out of the water, holding a rainbow shoe in his hands. He wore designer jeans and a black vest that matched his hair, which was partially covered by a gray beanie.

"Haha, I got it," he cheerfully shouted.

"To bad it was my shoe," Miranda, who had emerged behind him. The frizzy-haired girl jumped on the boys back, fighting to get her shoe. He kept his arm stretched out as he fled to the beach. The two struggled for a little while longer, until they both collapsed to the ground. The boy let go of the shoe which Miranda quickly grabbed.

Chris went to go stand over the boy. "Tsk Tsk, Vince, you just lost to a girl."

"To be fair, she is a fan girl," Cody pointed out.

"True, very true," Chris mused as he walked away.

DJ went to go help the boy up. "So why were you fighting with her over a shoe, man?" The giant asked.

"It was designer and would go with this frikkin' sweet shirt I brought with me," Vince said enthusiastically. He noticed the look on several of the contestants' faces. "I'm straight by the way."

"Great, because we were all wondering," Duncan said jokingly.

While all the contestants laughed, another boat came and dropped off the next newbie. The girl that arrived was a brunette with medium length hair and conservative clothes.

"Elaine, sorry about the forcing you to swim," Chris said.

"Gosh, no you're not," Harold stated.

"True"

"It's alright," the girl said in a cheery voice. "I needed to get in some exercise anyway." She then introduced herself to every contestant, pointing out the many good qualities of each person. She then reached Heather.

"I'd be careful around her if I was you, white girl," LeShawna said.

"Yeah, she's like really mean," Lindsay added.

"Oh, I'm sure she's a beautiful person on the inside," Elaine mused.

"Um, you did watch the last few seasons, right?" Heather asked, not sure what to make of the girl.

"Of course I did," Elaine giggled, "And I just know that all you need is to have a friend." She then did something that surprised everybody watching, she hugged Heather.

The queen bee looked worried. She had no idea what to make of the display of affection. She looked to the other teens for help, but they all just smiled and waved.

Elaine opened her eyes to see a puzzling sight. "Now who is that?" She let go of Heather and walked over to the mysterious sight. "Hi there," she said.

The boy jumped at the sound. He was tall, Chef's height, and very skinny. He pushed up his wire-rimmed glasses. In his hands was a shiny saxophone.

"Harvard," Chris shouted, "when did you get here?"

"A-about three b-boats ago," the boy stuttered.

"How did we not notice?" Gwen asked.

"Beats me," Tyler replied, "maybe he arrived when Chef was yelling at Rocki."

"What's with those glasses? He looks dorkier than Doris over here." Duncan barked, jerking his thumb in Harold's direction.

"Hey," the lanky nerd protested.

"Duncan, that was really mean," LeShawna chastised, "can't you see that your scaring the guy?"

Elaine noticed that what the african-canadian said was true. "What's wrong Harvard?"

"I-I'm not g-good with at-tention."

"Well then, how about I get all of them to turn around and then you can tell me all about your saxophone. Does that sound nice?"

The boy frailly nodded. Elaine turned around and gave them a 'turn around' sign with her fingers.

They reluctantly turned, mostly because the next contestant was pulling himself onto the shore. He was incredibly short, wearing a striped hoodie and khaki pants.

"Lyle, good to see you could make it." Chris said.

"Awwwww, he's so cute." Katie, Sadie, and Izzy cooed.

"So cute in fact, "Izzy said as she hugged the boy, "I could eat him right up. In fact, could somebody pass me some salt and pepper?"

"No," Lyle screeched. "Somebody help! I don't want to be eaten, get me away from this girl!"

"Why is overreacting so much, eh?" Ezekiel asked. "It's not like she's actooally gooing to eat him"

"It is Izzy," Noah pointed out, "I wouldn't put it past her."

Lyle managed to get away from Izzy and went and cowered behind DJ.

"That's not a really safe place to hide," Tyler told the midget.

"Says you," Lyle retorted. "With his bulk, nobody can find me."

"Yeah, but if he gets scared he might curl up in a ball on top of you."

"Oh," Lyle pondered where to hide next, and then hid behind Tyler.

The next boat came; this one's contestant willingly dove into the water. Everybody waited for the person to make it to the shore.

The person made the mistake of swimming by Chef, who was working on constructing the dock. The chef dropped a plank of wood, which hit the person on the head, knocking them unconscious.

"Someone, go get Yael before a shark eats her," Chris said passively.

Bridgette ran to where the girl had been hit and dove. She emerged, carrying the unconscious girl bridal style onto the shore.

"God, that's hot," Geoff murmured, fanning himself.

The surfer set the girl down on the sand, using a rock as a pillow. She wore a black t-shirt with khaki shorts. The contestants that cared circled around the unconscious girl.

"What was her name?" Cody asked.

"I think Chip said Dartmouth," Lindsay suggested.

"Seriously?" LeShawna asked, "That wasn't even close. Try Yael, Honey,"

"Oh that is such a pretty name, Dartmouth should really think about changing hers to that."

LeShawna face palmed.

"Wha', what happened?" Yael asked as she was coming to.

"Chef dropped a piece of wood on your head and K.O'ed you," Lyle said.

"Wow, what a way to make a first impression," the girl said. She raised her hands to her face to wipe water out of her eyes, but noticed that something was missing. "Oh my God, where are my glasses."

Everybody looked around for the glasses. Rocki was the first to see them. "I see them ,they're floating in the water. Don't worry I'll go get them." She was halfway there when a shark appeared out of the water and swallowed the glasses.

"My mistake," Rocki said as she returned to the group, "it was a hermit crab."

"That can't be right," James said, "_Pagurus armatus_ isn't indigenous to this area."

Before Yael could ask what really happened to her glasses, a loud shriek covered echoed across the island, the origins: Katie, Sadie, and Miranda.

The three girls were staring at the next contestant as he pulled himself out of the water. He had perfectly stylized hair, designer clothes, and a physique I could stare at for hours (description by Katie)

"Oh my God, it can't be," Katie gasped.

"But it is," Sadie finished.

"It's, It's…"

"TONY DELALUNA!" Miranda shouted. The three girls charged at the boy before he even had a chance to stand up. **(1)**

Tony saw his fans charging at him. "Ladies, good to see.."

"I love you Tony!" Sadie shrieked.

"Your work in _The Time Before Dark _was … Oscar-worthy" Katie swooned.

"I am your biggest fan!" Miranda bragged.

"I'm sure you are but if you would excuse …" Tony tried to say again.

"Quick, you two, hold him down while I get a lock of his hair," Miranda ordered.

"You can have his hair, we just want his shirt," Sadie said.

"You can have his shirt, I just want him shirtless," Katie growled. With that, the twins tackled the celebrity down to the ground. Tony tried to fight them off, but they proved to be much stronger than they looked. Fangirls tend to do that.

"Ladies, get off of him," Chris ordered. "Don't make me go get Chef."

Each of the girls reluctantly got off of him. Miranda gave Tony a 'call me sign' and walked off with the others.

"Hey, thanks Chris," Tony said.

"No problem, Dude, us mega-celebrities have got to stick together," Chris said, fist bumping the other male.

"Chris, why did you let one of the most famous, untalented people on the planet join the show?" Gwen asked, glaring at Tony.

"Because the producers thought that having a celebrity on the show would boost the ratings. You saw what those three did. Now multiply it by all of Canada!"

"That, and I think this would be a great time to expand my fan base." Tony added.

"Whatever, just know that this is one fan that you will never get," Gwen spat," You ruined vampires for this generation."

"You're entitled to your own opinion I suppose."

"It's not an opinion if it's right."

"Everyone, look, it's Anna!" Chris said, diffusing the situation before it could get any worse.

The new girl was glaring at Chris, her arms crossed across her chest. "Chris! You better have a spare change of clothes! My shirt is see through because you made me swim."

"Sorry, maybe you shouldn't have worn white," the host chuckled.

"Hey new girl," Duncan hollered, "put your hands where I can see them. Them and other things!"

Anna gasped. She stalked over to the delinquent, who was chuckling at his inappropriate joke. She raised her hand, the other still covering her chest, and slapped him clean across the face. She turned to Gwen, "Sorry."

"eh, he deserved it," the Goth told her. The two girls giggled at Duncan's writhing pain.

Fran placed her hand on Duncan's shoulder, "See? This is why you belong with somebody else, Gwen's better than Courtney, but I think you can do even better."

"You've already pissed Courtney off, do you really want to piss me off too?" Gwen asked as he soothed her beau's back.

"Wow, I just got here and people are already pissed, that can't be good" a voice coughed. It belonged to a dark-haired boy on the ground, a boy clad in what looked like basic gym clothes.

"Ethan there you are. I was wondering where you were," Chris said.

"I had to swim the whole way here," Ethan panted.

"Wow, that's weird, Vanessa had to do the same thing," Owen blubbered.

"That's because him and Vanessa had the same captain," Chris told them.

"Oh, wow, what a weird coincidence. Hey look the next boat." Vanessa said changing the subject.

"Thanks," Ethan mumbled, "a lot"

"Ladies and gentlemen, Haily," Chris introduced the girl as she walked on shore. She had light blonde hair and a bust size that rivaled Lindsay, and she was proud of it, too.

"Hey Chris," she said, "Wow, you really need to shave."

"You think," the narcissist said as he rubbed his chin.

"Uh huh" Haily smiled. She the walked over to stand by LeShawna. "You have a very pretty bra," she told the sister.

"What was that?" LeShawna asked incredulously.

"I said you have a pretty bra."

"And why are you looking at my chest?"

"Well can you blame me? I mean your boobs are just like WA-BAM!" As if to prove her point, she thrusted her chest forward.

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be. Bring it white girl," LeShawna struck a kung fu pose, one that she would reluctantly say that Harold taught her.

"Isn't this the same way she and Harold interacted when they first met?" Lyle asked. "I'm a little rusty on my first season facts."

"Yes it is," Noah answered, "and based on how both of them ended up, this could lead to some interesting developments later on in the season." In return for his statement, LeShawna hit the bookworm over the back of the head.

"Where's the bathroom?" Haily asked, crossing her legs "Because I really need to pee."

"Well that's just lovely to know," Vanessa said, taking a step away from the girl.

"You can't pee till everybody is here," Chris told her.

The next boat pulled up out in the water, and the contestant could be heard arguing with the captain. "There is no ***censored*** way I am ***censored*** jumping into that ***censored*** water! Don't you ***censored*** touch me with your ***censored*** hands. Whoa!"

The girl's swearing could be heard under the water, which is quite a feat considering it was scientifically impossible.

"Thoundth to me like thomebody needth to get her mouth wathed out with thoap," Beth chimed.

"Yeah, Cartoon Network censors are going to have a field day with her on this season," Cody stated.

"Yeah, Diana's audition was surprisingly G-rated," Chris pondered as Diana made it to the shore.

"You have got to be-"

"Shut it," Eva snapped, "or I'll pound you into dust." Diana, knowing not to get on Eva's bad side, did as she was told. Everybody gave Eva a surprised yet pleased look. "What? Even I was raised not to speak like that!"

"Power to you," Rocki said, raising her hand for a hi-five. Sadly, Eva ignored the sign of comradery, forcing Rocki to hi-five herself.

"There is nothing more disrespectful than a dissed hi-five," Cody said.

"True that, my brother," Harold agreed, knocking fists with the tech-geek.

The next boat pulled up, this one's contestant willingly dove into the water. Lyle sniffed the air, as if a foul smelling scent were lingering in the air. "Evil," he seethed.

Out of the water emerged a well dressed teenage boy. He had red hair, a little goatee, and glasses.

"Everyone, this is Jonathon," Chris introduced.

"Evil," Lyle repeated.

"Yo, why does the little dude keep sayin 'evil,'" Geoff asked, not particularly to anyone.

"Because, he is … evil," Lyle answered.

"What makes you say that?"

"We go to the same schoo-OW!" Lyle rubbed his neck in pain, where there was suddenly a big red welt.

Jonathon chuckled a chuckle that even Chris thought was maniacal, and that's saying something. In his hands, Jonathon held a fine leather whip. "Oh, that felt incredibly satisfying."

"Chris, you let him bring a whip?" Heather asked, flabbergasted.

"Well, yeah, I guess I did."

"Why?"

"Research shows that the more pain and distress you guys are in, the higher the ratings, and thus, a bigger paycheck for me," Chris chuckled. The host gave Jonathon a hand motion to put the whip away, which he did, but we're not telling you where.

"Lyle good to see you again," Jonathon said to the little munchkin.

"Evil," he seethed one more time.

The next boat held a surprise, this one was carrying two contestants.

"Chris, why are some of the boats carrying two people?" Owen asked as the two new contestants swam to shore.

"Well, we needed to cut back on some things in the budget, so we decided to save some cash and gas and have some people arrive on the same boat." Chris returned. "It's saving money and the environment!"

"Environmentalists everywhere worship the ground you walk on," Gwen remarked as the two new girls washed up on shore.

Both were blonde. One was relatively chubby with her hair in a ponytail and a plunging neckline. The other was skinnier with her air down between her shoulder blades. The odd thing about her was she was sobbing.

"Amanda, what did you do to Kayla?" Chris asked.

"Nothing, her boyfriend br…" Amanda, the chunky one, trailed off. "Sorry, I got distracted by the amount of product in your hair." A couple of the teens laughed.

"What about her boyfriend?" Katie asked, worried.

"He *sniff* he broke up *sniff* with me! *sob* IN A TEXT MESSAGE!" Kayla wailed. She then broke down into louder sobs. Many of the girls, feeling sorry for the heartbroken girl, rushed to her aid, telling her about how stupid her boyfriend was (which is odd, because they had never met the boy).

After ten minutes of trash talk, Chris was starting to get annoyed that the camera wasn't on him. "Eh hem," he grunted, "If you would mind, I would like to get some face time here."

"Why, so you can put more product in it, cuz you have enough in there to season a wok," Amanda joked. Most of the contestants laughed at this joke, even Eva cracked a smile.

"Do you think so?" Owen asked, excitedly. "Hey Chef, fire up the stove, we're having Chinese tonight!" **(2)**

"We'll have what I serve. Got that, Tubby?" The burly man growled.

"Got it"

"Now where is that next contestant?" Chris mused.

"I'm right here," said a boy from behind Chris. He had long brown hair, green pants, and an oddly designed capital L on his shirt.

"CJ, it's about time you got here."

"I've been here for a few minutes. You made me feel like Canada on _Hetalia._" **(3)**

"Um…what?"

"It's my way of saying you ignored me."

"Oh, sorry about that," Chris said, not looking the least bit sorry.

CJ rolled his eyes. He went to go stand with the other contestants, and made the mistake of standing next to Duncan. "Hey Harold," Duncan hollered at the nerd, "I found your soul mate."

"Shut up, Vidaldus from _Fairy Tail__,__" _CJ snapped.

"Yeah you tell him, my fellow otaku," Harold said, hi-fiving the anime nerd.

"Our next contestant, Sabrina," Chris said, pointing to the girl as she crawled out of the water.

"Hi Chris," she wheezed. "I just want you to know, when we get married, our castle fountain will have tomatoe juice running through it, even though I'll be wearing a white dress, because I know it's your favorite."

"…Okay, how do you know this?" The host asked, taking a step away from the girl.

"Let's just say I paid really close attention last season, I need to know everything about my future hubby." Sabrina closed the gap.

Chris tried to widen the gap. "What about that boy you were stalking—I mean following—in your audition tape?"

"William? He was nice, but I've moved on to bigger and better things." The gap suddenly found itself closed, again.

"What a loss for him, hehe, Eva would you mind coming and grabbing her, please."

"Why, I'm actually enjoying this," the fitness buff growled.

"Chef?"

"No way, Pretty boy, that's your problem," Chef Hatchet barked.

"I'll give you a pay raise."

Chef glared at the host. He set down his nail and hammer on he partially completed dock and went to get the stalker away from the host. He picked the girl up and slung her over his shoulder. "Come on crazy girl."

"Chris, I'll be waiting," Sabrina cooed, giving her best (which really wasn't that great) seductive smile. Chris shuddered.

"Now that girl has one seriously ***censored*** up mind," Diana muttered.

"Looks like she could give Izzy and Sierra a run for their money," Sadie told Katie.

"Are we all here yet, I cuz I still need to pee," Haily whined.

"No Haily, we still need two more contestants to show up," Chris snapped, "one of which is pull—"

A blood-curdling scream cut off the handsome host. It came from the flailing figure in the distance.

"Bridgette," Chris said, never taking his eyes off the figure, "go save Phillip before he drowns."

The surfer rolled her eyes but dove into the water anyway. She made it to Phillip, who was wary of the surfer at first, but seeing his current predicament, latched on for dear life.

When the two reached the shore, Phillip was shaking uncontrollably, mumbling to himself. "Hydrophobia, Thermophobia, Anthropophobia, so many phobias, it's like I'm in a living nightmare. This is why I never went to camp! Oh my god!" **(4)**

"Phillip everybody!" Chris said cheerily.

"I think he's going catatonic," Anna noticed.

"Yeah, he'll get over it," Chris said, knocking the catatonic teen over. "Meanwhile, our last contestant is pulling in."

What Chris said was true, the final boat was pulling in, literally. The boat pulled up to the shore, let the next contestant off, and pulled out to the lake.

"Grace good to see—"

"You mean we could have pulled up to the beach the whole time?" Vanessa snapped.

"and my saxoph-phone d-didn't have to be d-damaged," Harvard tried to say sternly.

"***censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored***" Diana shrieked.

"And I didn't have to have Duncan try to sneak a peak?" Anna sneered.

"I can't see," Yael said," but I'm assuming something happened that means we didn't have to swim!"

"And I have no idea what's going on," Grace spoke up, "But I love following the crowd so I'm pissed too."

Chris frightened by the mass of sopping wet youth marching forward on him, searched for a way out of the situation. "Haily, you can go pee now!"

"Oh thank the lord!" She said. The girl darted for the building, slamming the door behind her.

"That," Heather groaned, "was the cabin."

* * *

So, there you have it, the first chapter of what has got to be the biggest project I have ever started. I now have a new found respect of anybody that even attempts to write one of these stories. I plan to upload the next chapter soon, as well as the remaining profiles on my deviantart.

Thanks for reading!

**1. Tony's last name is pronounced (day-la-loo-na) for all of you that were wondering.**

**2. A wok is a type of pot traditionally used in the cooking of Chinese food. Just in case you didn't know**

**3. I know nothing about anime, all anime references are coming from the friend that CJ is based on, so if none of them make sense, blame him!**

**4. Hydrophobia = fear of water, Thermophobia = fear of heat, ****Anthropophobia = fear of people**

**Up next, the first challenge of Total Drama Galore!**


	2. Day 1 Part 2: the first challenge begins

**Disclaimer- **I own absolutely nothing, yeah, I know … sad day. Please do nothing that these characters do. Well, nothing extreme. I guess you could do the breathing part. But only do it sparingly.

**Author's note-** two things, 1. I am sorry that this is so late, band camp and the impending predicament of school has really slowed me down, sorry. 2. I just want all of you to know that I am using the biographies for all of the original characters (i.e. Izzy and Gwen), but I do have some changes to some, so they won't be strictly by the biography.

...

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

* * *

Confession cam

**Chris - **A few more contestants will be joining us tomorrow, but for the sake of today's team break-up, they're not here today. Now to hear from some of our contestants.

***static***

**Anna - **(She is forcefully shoved into the confessional) OW! You know you could have just asked me to use your stupid confessional! (Haily pops her head in the door)

**Haily -** Oh, here's the bathroom. (She walks in and starts to unbutton her pants)

**Anna -** (Taken aback) um, it's occupied

**Haily - **(still undoing her pants) Oh, I'm open to sharing

**Anna -** (her eyes bulge in horror)

***static***

**Yael - **(She is facing the opposite direction, so all we see is the back of her head) Chris told me they can't get my replacement glasses in until tomorrow, so I have to do this entire challenge blind! Do you know how inhumane that is?

***static***

**Kayla - **(she's still sobbing, sniffs the air, and continues to sob) the smell, it's just like his bathroom!

***static***

**Phillip -** (He's wiping the confessional down with a disinfectant soaked wipe.) Germ's … so many germs!"

***Static***

**Heather - **So, most of these new kids are rather pathetic.

***static***

**Harold - **(he peeks out the door) I'm hiding from Fran. She won't stop chasing me and yelling how I belong with Bridgette. That coupled with that accidental kiss this morning, is making my luscious LeShawna a very frightening woman.

***static***

**Courtney **- Since I am the most skilled person here at reading people, I am now going to give you my opinions of all the new contestants. First, James seems to be a—

***static***

**Ethan - **Since I don't think I got the introduction everybody else got I'm going to give another first impression here. Hi my name is Ethan, and I am—

***static***

**Tyler & Lindsay - **(The jock is fanning his unconsciousness girlfriend) After Chris was able to convince the new kids not to tear him apart, limb from limb, he made everybody learn each others names. That was when Lindsay fainted, muttering something about too many names. I figured the stench in here would wake her up, like smelling salts.

**Lindsay - **(she begins to come too) why does it smell so bad?

**Tyler -** You're back!

**Lindsay - **Trent?

**Tyler - **(He facepalms)

***static***

**Courtney - **And they are definitely hiding something. (Someone can be heard banging on the side of the outhouse)

**Chris - **Courtney hurry up, we need to start!

**Courtney - **On a final note, Duncan and Gwen are going down!

* * *

"Ok" Chris said as Courtney joined him and the rest of the competitors, "Now that everybody who wanted to use the confessional has used it, it's time to start the first challenge." He looked at the contestants, waiting for some sort of reaction.

"What?" Gwen asked. "You think just because you said something we're supposed to cheer?"

"Well, yeah, kinda," the host replied.

"To bad," Vanessa snapped, "we're wet, cold, tired, hormonal, and impatient, we just want to get this over with."

"First things first, the teams,"

"They're obviously just going to be the returning people against the new people?" Noah droned.

"Yeah, but I still want to announce it," Chris huffed. "The first team will be those of you who are returning, who I like to call The Golden Oldies. The other team, the new contestants, will be called the N00bz."

"Aren't you just oozing originality," Amanda joked, getting a few laughs.

"Haha," Chris sarcastically barked, "Now as for today's challenge, you are going to be playing a not-so friendly game of capture the flag!"

"That's it?" Sabrina asked, walking her fingers up the handsome host's chest. "Surely a genius like you could think of something better."

"Actually, I couldn't. It's incredibly hard to think up a challenge that two teams of twenty-two can take part in. Now if you don't mind, BACK OFF!"

Sabrina reluctantly took a step back.

"Now you all know how to play capture the flag-"

"Let's suppose that there are some people here who are unaware of the rules of such a game," James mused.

"Well, both teams have a territory which share a boundary line. In that territory, the teams must hide a flag. The object is to get the other team's flag across the boundary before they can do the same. In order to resist the capture of your flag, if you tag somebody on the opposite tem, they are frozen until another member of their team tags the, and trust me, I can be a pain in the ass when it comes to the no moving while frozen rule."

"So it's basically a metaphor for hostage situations in war in which both sides have a valuable individual and send spies and armies to get them back. The flag represents the hostage and the freezing represents fatal gunfire?" James asked.

"… Sure, now, in order to make it simpler and move a lot more quickly, I have chosen captains for both teams. Noah will lead the Golden Oldies, and Yael will lead the N00bz."

"What?" Courtney shouted.

"What?" Noah deadpanned.

"What?" Yael gasped.

"Yep, and no changing captains. You now have one hour to hide your flag and plan your strategy."

"Anything else?" Tony asked.

"Good question, N00bz get this island, Golden Oldies get Boney Island. First team to get the opposing team's flag onto their island wins, and no cheating, cheating will cause your team to lose. For those of you who are wondering, cheating means moving when you are frozen in place, you can talk and blink, but any other voluntary movement is not allowed. Now move campers, move. "

The contestants dashed around, trying to get with their respective teams, with only Amanda staying put. "Well, that was an ironic assortment of sentences.

* * *

N00bz

The twenty-two new contestants gathered at the side of the cafeteria, out of sight and earshot of the Golden Oldies. Everybody was talking excitedly about their first Total Drama challenge. Yael stood at the front of the crowd, holding the teams purple flag.

"Hey, everybody, listen up," Yael shouted at the wall, which she thought was the group. Grace walked forward and turned their leader around. "Thank you CJ."

"It's Grace."

"Oh, sorry."

"No problem" Grace said in a friendly matter, hiding the slight flinch in her eye from her teammates.

"The phrase blind leading the blind takes on a whole new meaning right now." Amanda joked.

"That would have been funny if we all weren't thinking it," Tony told the chubby blonde, who hung her head in disappointment.

"Ok people, we need to think up a good place to hide our flag."

"I say we bury it," Jonathon said, whipping a shovel out from behind the building. Lyle let out a terrified squeak and hid behind James.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Lyle-** One time at school, Jonathon buried me without a single teacher noticing. I didn't even have a coffin; it was just me and my clothes. It sure sent the zombie enthusiasts into a frenzy when I was able to pull myself out.

***static***

**Jonathon- **(He chuckles) Ah, good times.

* * *

"I say we hide it in there," Yael said, pointing to the side of the building.

"The cafeteria?" Vanessa asked.

"Oh sorry," Yael turned and pointed at the lake. "There"

"In the lake?" Ethan asked.

"Damn it," Yael screamed, "Somebody, make it to where I'm pointing at the woods." Grace reached out and twisted the girl so she was pointing at said woods.

"Wait," Rocki shouted, "I know exactly where we should go hide it." The odd girl ran forward and grabbed the flag out of Yael's hands, darting into the woods.

"Should we send somebody in there with her?" Elaine asked. "I'd hate for her to get eaten by something."

"Seriously, her clothes are too nice to be ruined that way," Vince chattered.

"Look on the bright side," Vanessa said, "if she does get eaten, whatever eats her will probably eat the flag too. Then the other team will never find it."

"That is a horrible way to think," Anna stated in horror

"If that's your bright side, I'd hate to see your dark side," Amanda said, trying to crack another joke.

"Again," Tony whispered, "would have been funny if we all weren't thinking it."

"What's our strategy?" Ethan asked, seemingly changing the subject.

"Cower," Phillip suggested from his little ball on the ground.

"Now where would that get us?" Elaine said, rubbing the terrified boy's back. "Not everything out there is that bad, maybe just getting out there would be a good thing for you to try."

Vanessa glared at the cheery girl.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Vanessa- **Ugh, that cheery girl is very annoying. Who is that happy all the time? She has got to be up to something.

***static***

**Elaine- **I love seeing the bright side of life. Life's to short to live in a depressing mood. It's just my goal to make sure everybody is as happy as can be.

* * *

The team stood in thought, trying to think of possible ways to attain the other teams flag. Miranda was the one to come up with an idea, whipping a piece of paper out of her pocket.

"What you got there Miranda?" Sabrina asked the fangirl as she was trying to look over her shoulder.

"Oh just this little plan me and a few of my friends thought up," Miranda shrugged, "it got messed up by the fall in the water, but it should still work."

"A plan for what?" Tony asked nervously.

"Oh nothing"

Anna walked over and snatched the paper from the frizzy-haired girl. "It's title says 'kidnap Tony DeLaLuna Plan Beta'."

Vince looked over the girl's shoulder. "And it's color-coded," he exclaimed. Miranda quickly snatched the paper back before anything else could be revealed.

"Beta?" Lyle asked, "Does that mean that there's a plan alpha?"

Diana chuckled, looking at Tony. "Dude, you're ***censored***"

* * *

Confession cam

**Tony-** (He's speaking anxiously into a phone) Yes … yes … I want you to hire three new bodyguards … and put up more security cameras … let's just say I have a hunch that they're going to be needed more than I thought.

***static***

**Anna- **A lot of my friends make plans to kidnap celebrities, and I'm usually the one that convinces them that it really isn't worth it. But I've always wondered what they planned to do once they captured the celebrity.

**Haily- **(she yells from outside the outhouse) It's called sex!

**Anna-** This is supposed to be private.

**Haily- **But it's not

* * *

"Care to explain what 'Kidnap Tony DeLaLuna Plan Beta' is?" Grace asked, tapping her toes impatiently.

"Well, as the title implies, it was originally meant to capture Tony," Miranda stated as the celebrity took side-steps away from the fangirl. "But with some tweaking, it should work for capture the flag. All we do is send a large group of people to distract security, then two groups of two swing around back and stuff Tony in a bag and get to the getaway truck. All we have to do is add some defense and remove the getaway van and ta-da, strategy."

"That is surprisingly well thought out for a bunch of screaming fangirls," Fran mused.

"What, you thought all we did was scream and follow them on Twitter?" Miranda asked. Everybody else awkwardly looked at each other and murmured something along the lines of 'yes.' "Well then," Miranda muttered.

"Who's going to do what?" Vanessa asked.

"Obviously our all seeing leader over there will tell us," Amanda laughed, jerking her thumb in the direction of Yael, who accidently walked into the wall.

"But she's visually impaired. How could she be all seeing?" James questioned.

"It was a joke

"… Oh"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Amanda- **(She's slightly shaking) my school's psychologist diagnosed me with a Histrionic Personality Disorder. Apparently that means I have an excessive need for attention and making people laugh is my way of getting it. So when people don't understand or don't laugh at my jokes, I get a little … desperate.

***static***

**James- **I still don't get it

* * *

"Who wants to be part of the defense?" Yael asked, her face inches away from a slightly disturbed Diana's.

"***censored***, Get the ***censored* **away from me," She snapped.

"Sorry," the blind girl mumbled as she stepped back, "again, who wants to be part of the defense." Not many of the new contestants seemed overly eager to join the defense, so only a few of them raised their hands.

"Is anybody raising their hands?" Yael asked the nearest person, who happened to be the pole that held the loudspeaker.

"Well, Harvard, Kayla, Phillip, Vince, and Lyle are." Grace listed.

"Then they are going to be the defense. Now who wants to be the offensive?" Even fewer people were eager to join the offensive. Three people raised they're hands.

"Vanessa, Ethan, and CJ," Grace told Yael.

"OK. Vanessa, you and Ethan take the left side of the island. CJ, we'll pair you with Rocki and you can take the right side. Everybody else is going to run distraction."

"And how do we distract?" Sabrina asked.

"We run around screaming like a bunch of ninnies."

Haily giggled. "Ninnies, such a funny word." After that statement, the large group started to discuss the hilarity of the word ninny.

"I'm back!" Rocki called out as she walked out from the woods, no flag in sight.

"Did you hide the flag?" Yael yelled.

"Sure did," Rocki said, hi-fiving Fran as she walked by, which was awkward because Fran didn't raise her hand for a hi-five.

"Good, where is it? The defense needs to go and set up."

Rocki wasn't quick to answer. Her face slowly contorted into a worried expression. Terror appeared in her eyes. "Oh crap"

"What?" Yael asked worriedly, "Is it a bear?" The blonde grabbed the nearest person, Vince, and used him as a shield against the non-existent bear.

"Bear!" Phillip shrieked. The fearful teenager pulled a paper bag out of his back pocket to control his escalating breathing.

"No, there's no bear," Rocki said, comforting the boy, "I just forgot where I hid the flag."

"How could you forget?" Vanessa snapped. "You only hid it three minutes ago?"

"My memory isn't the best."

"We noticed"

"Girls please," Grace interrupted, "you shouldn't fight. We're on the same team."

"Anna's right" Yael said.

"It's Grace!"

"Sorry, Grace is right. Defense, your new job is to go find our flag." The members of the defensive group nodded their heads reluctantly and entered the woods in search for the flag.

"Do you think I should go with them?" Rocki asked.

"You'll probably just get them lost." Vanessa sniped.

"Watch it," Grace ordered.

"No Rocki, you need to go on offense with CJ," Yael told her.

"But I don't want—" CJ tried to voice his concern about something, but was interrupted by a large horn that was blared over the loudspeaker.

"I guess that's our cue to begin." Yael muttered. She then walked into the side of the cafeteria.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Vanessa- **What kind of moron forgets where she hid the flag? She probably just cost our team the win!

***static***

**Rocki-** It's not like I meant to forget where I hid the flag. Hey, if you think about it, I hid it so well, even I can't find it.

***static***

**Grace- **If this Yael girl doesn't start getting my name right, I am going to lose it, and losing it will ruin this entire nice girl act I'm working on.

***static***

**Haily-** (she giggles) …ninnies

* * *

Golden Oldies

All of the returning campers stood on the shore of Boney Island, forming a circle around two screaming teens.

"That is probably the stupidest thing I have ever heard," One shouted.

"Then you obviously have never watched one of your confessionals," The other retorted.

"What is wrong with my confessionals?"

"They sound like the ravings of a complete psyco!"

"… … … … … … … … …"

* * *

Confession cam

**Courtney - **(she's been in the confessional for a while) and this one time I made these nice little Duncan and Gwen voodoo dolls. (Noah opens the door, Courtney doesn't notice) They were making out, like usual, but then they they suddenly found themselves inside my dogs stomach. (Noah leaves and Courtney finally notices.)

**Haily- **(She's yelling from outside the outhouse)Hey, prop the door open, I want to keep listening! (Courtney's eyes go impossibly wider)

* * *

"Would you two stop it," LeShawna yelled, stepping between the feuding CIT and bookworm. "In case you didn't notice, we have a challenge we need to prepare for."

"Why am I the only one that is outraged by this? He wants to use a strategy from a stupid video game for Pete's sake!" Courtney shrieked.

"A strategy that I won't shoot down until I actually hear it," Gwen stated. Noah smirked proudly. "Don't think this is me supporting you, you're still on my bad side for being a smartass."

"Good to know"

"So what's this dork plan, anyway?" Duncan asked as he tried to comfort a still fuming Courtney.

"It's quite simple, in _Battle of Battlecraft, _one of our quests was to retrieve a treasure from an enemy camp while protecting our own treasure," Noah droned. "What me and my online friends did was send one person to capture the treasure while everybody else stayed behind to protect ours."

"But why would we send only one person?" Trent asked.

"Because one person is far harder to detect than an entire group," Noah replied. The group contemplated this statement.

"But what if this person gets tagged? Who's going to be able to unfreeze them?" Courtney nagged. "How can you not see the amount of holes in your plan?"

"Because I know that the person won't get caught?"

"And who could possibly pull off such a feat?"

"Izzy," Noah said as I it was the most obvious thing on the planet. Everyone else gave it a split second to think over, and realized that Noah was right.

The psycho grinned from ear to ear and glomped the bookworm. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Izzy chanted.

"Izzy…get off of me!" The redhead reluctantly climbed down from the egghead.

"Since we know what we're going to do to get the flag, where are we going to hide the flag?" Justin asked.

Lindsay raised her hand quickly, but everybody was distracted by what was on the water. It was Chris, driving by on a water ski. "You're up to thirty, Justin," the handsome host said into a mega phone, then went back to the island.

Noah finally noticed the waving hand of a certain blonde bimbo. "Yes Lindsay," he said.

"I was thinking that maybe we could hide the flag in Chef's kitchen, they'd never think to look in there!" The blonde said proudly.

"But Lindthey, the kitchen ith on the other island," Beth pointed out.

"Really, I could have sworn it was on the same island as those weird beaver thingies."

"That's it!" Cody exclaimed. "We should hide it in the beaver cave! The other team would be too scared to ever go in there!"

"That does make sense," Gwen muttered.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Cody - **A girl who isn't Sierra actually agreed with me, and that girl was Gwen! Now I know why Katie and Sadie like to squeal all the time, it must be their way of channeling excitement

***static***

**Katie & Sadie- **(They squeal their signature squeal)

**Sadie - **Why did we just do that?

**Katie - **Because we thought it would be fun.

**Sadie - **Oh, want to do it again?

**Katie - **Of course (the two of them begin to squeal again)

* * *

"There is no way I am going in there," Cody said sternly. The twenty-two teens stood outside the beaver cave, easily noticed because of the beaver mailbox outside of the cave.

Noah gave the tech-geek a little nudge towards the cave's entrance. "It was your idea, therefore, you're the one who gets to place it."

"Noah," Izzy mused, "maybe you should try being chivalrous to you boyfriend and hide it for him."

"I am not gay!" he egghead snapped. "I don't care what those blogs say!"

"Guys, can we please stop talking about Noah's sexuality and get back to the matter at hand?" A shaking Cody asked.

"What's there to discuss," Heather sniped. "Just get in there and hide our flag."

"Do it for me Cody," Beth said, batting her eyelashes.

"Beth, you do know that that kiss was just to get you to stop kissing Ezekiel, right?"

The farm-girl winked at the skinny nerd. "We'll just let that be our cover so Thierra doesn't get thuthpiciouth."

Cody nodded feebly. He slowly walked forward and entered the cave entrance. Everyone, even Gwen and Noah, watched the entrance anxiously. Not a sound was heard. That is, until Cody's little girl scream could be heard.

The brunet nerd came running out of the cave, his hair a mess and a chunk of his shirt missing. He still had the flag in his hands.

"Way to go Cody," Heather snapped. "All you managed to do was make the beavers angry and not hide the flag!"

"You try going in there then," the nerd replied. "Because there is no way I am going to get mauled again this season."

"He's bleeding, eh," Ezekiel pointed out. Cody glanced down at his arm to see the red liquid flowing down a cut on his arm.

"Oh no," he mumbled as his eyes rolled back in his head.

"Somebody, catch him," Bridgette yelled. Geoff did as his girlfriend commanded and caught the unconscious boy before he hit the ground.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Cody - **Blood has always made me kind of queasy. I guess it has something to do with my dad being a surgeon, and the fact that he brought his work home with him sometimes. It really made dinner awkward sometimes.

* * *

"We need something to wake him-up," Bridgette murmured as she fanned the Brunet.

Tyler felt like he should put his two cents into the situation. "When I took Lindsay into the confessional after she fainted, she came back almost instantly."

"But the confessional's on the other island." Bridgette pointed out. "We need something that's just as smelly."

Harold didn't even have to think about what to do. "Owen, go stand next to Cody." The lovable oaf only had to take to steps before Cody bolted upright.

"I'm fine Owen," he gasped, "No need to take another step."

"Who's going to go hide the flag now?" Katie asked.

"Maybe Eva should do it," Sadie suggested. The BFFFL's looked happily at the female fitness buff. Eva wasn't sure what to do about the cheery smiles.

"Why do you want me to do it, and stop smiling," she growled.

"Well, you'll be able to fight off the beavers and plant the flag," Sadie pointed out, Katie nodded in agreement. Eva rolled her eyes, but grabbed the flag off the ground and entered the cave.

Shrieks of terror emanated from the cave. The sounds of a major brawl came soon afterwards. Some contestants claim to have heard a baby begin to cry. Suddenly, all went silent.

Eva stepped out of the cave, ridding her hands of any dust that may have gotten on them. She had faired much better than Cody. In fact, not a single scratch could be found on the girl. The campers burst into a round of applause. .

"Way to go Eva!" Izzy cheered.

"I'm mildly impressed," Gwen congratulated her.

Bridgette tried to do the same, "That was—" but was cut off by a growl from Eva.

"Eva, not that I'm not impressed," Noah said, though you could tell by the tone that he wasn't impressed at all. "But did you by chance happen to knock out all of the beavers?"

"Yes"

"Well there goes the whole reason for why we actually hid the flag there in the first place," the bookworm raised his voice, which was a rare occurrence for him.

"Oh bite me"

"I would, but I'm not Izzy"

Eva tried to get out a smart remark, but a blaring horn from a conveniently placed loudspeaker interrupted.

"Woohoo!" Izzy shouted. "Time for Izzy to go win the game!" With that, the redhead darted for the beach.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Noah - **Eva needs to start using her brain once in a while. Not every problem can be solved by brute force.

***static***

**Eva - **(she's in lotus position. She takes a deep, soothing breath, then punches the side of the confessional) This yoga stuff is crap. My anger management teacher says that I need to do Yoga every time I feel like beating somebody, like right now. It's just my opinion that beating that smartass would feel a lot better.

***static***

**Courtney - **I still say I would have been a better leader than Noah. Though his idea of splitting up the defense to cover the entire island was actually kind of smart.

* * *

The N00bz – distraction

Elaine gave one last push to the canoe that carried Rocki and CJ. The pair began to paddle their way to the right side of Boney Island. Well, CJ did, Rocki started to go to the left, then to the right after some convincing from CJ.

The remaining teens stood on the beach, staring at the open expanse of the water. "Now how are we supposed to get to the other island?" Tony asked. "They took the only two canoes we had, and I fail to see a yacht"

"You aren't in Hollywood anymore, Pretty Boy," a shaking Amanda chattered. "There's nobody here serving you hand and foot." At that moment, Miranda whipped out a ham and cheese sandwich, which Tony happily gobbled-up. "Well that ruined the joke setup," Amanda muttered.

Chris decided that this was the best time to drive by the campers on his expensive water ski. "What's wrong, n00bz?" the host asked.

"We can't figure out how to get to Boney Island." Fran said.

"Yeah, how did the other team get over there?" Anna asked.

"I gave them a ride"

"Could you give us a ride?"

"Nope"

"But I'll make it worth your wile," Sabrina tried to say seductively, but it only came out creepily.

"Then it's a definite no," Chris said. He started to speed up his boat and leave the campers.

"***censored***" Diana yelled at the host.

Seeing the predicament they were in made Grace's mind spawn an idea. She leaned forward and whispered in Jonathon's ear, "Do you still have that whip?"

"Why of course I do?" The sadist replied.

"Then whip that thing out and get us that water ski."

"Whoa," Haily jumped in, "Are you two talking about what I think you're talking about?"

Jonathon rolled his eyes and pulled out his whip. He waved it over his head three times a flicked his wrist. The head of the whip wrapped around the handle of the water ski. He jerked the whip, causing the water ski to come to a sudden halt and Chris to go catapulting forward.

Everyone cheered in wild applause. Jonathon gave a condescending bow as he reeled the water ski to the shore.

"Great, now that we have a boat," Yael stated.

"It's a water ski," Jonathon pointed out after one last tug.

"Oh, really? Then how are we supposed to all fit on there?"

"Very carefully," Anna muttered.

"Okay, everybody onto the water ski." Yael ordered. All of the teens climbed onto the water ski, but there was no organization at all. It was just a hodge-podge of teenagers, none in a very comfortable position.

"Yael, your arm is in my crotch," Haily pointed out.

"Well then stop closing your legs so can pull it out."

"I can't, Elaine's pushing them shut."

"Oh, is that what that is. I am so sorry." The cheery girl said.

Grace managed to work her way up to the controls of the water-ski. "Is everybody comfortable?" she asked. 'No' was the resounding reply. "Well to bad," she said, "because we need to go." With that, she floored the gas and rocketed across the water, the mass of teen bobbing up and down across the water.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Grace - **You know, that Jonathon boy is quite handy with that whip. It's kind of hot!

***static***

**Jonathon - **Back in my nerd years, I was a member of The Last Crusaders, a club dedicated to Indiana Jones. While I was in there I learned how to do all these fancy tricks with my whip and a fedora. Then I discovered the world of pain.

***static***

**Haily - **(she appears to be pondering something) So that must be what an orgy feels like … interesting, though I wasn't very thrilled when Yael's face went in my boobs.

***static***

**Yael - **It's a good thing I was blind when we got on that water ski, because I'm sure my face went places I don't want to see in my dreams.

* * *

N00bz – Defenders

The small search group was searching hi and low for the incognito flag. At the current moment, they were searching low, at the base of the thousand foot high cliff to be specific.

"Where do you think she hid the darn thing?" Lyle asked his group of comrades. Kayla answered with a wail. Phillip answered with a wheeze. Vince was to busy checking for grime underneath his fingernails.

"M-maybe she d-did what jon-nathon said and b-buried it," Harvard suggested.

"That, my stuttering friend, is a thought that we will consider," Lyle said. "Well, she obviously didn't hide it down here, lets go look in the woods some more."

Phillip remained curled up in his little ball in the sand while the other four teens walked into the forest to search for the flag. Suddenly, a shark jumped out of the water. Phillip, believing that the shark was vicious and was jumping out of the water to come and tear him apart limb-from-limb, fainted. In actuality, the shark was swimming away from an unseen horror.

Nobody else noticed the incident that had occurred on the beach.

Phillip, who was used to fainting often, woke up quickly. From his position on the beach, Phillip had a perfect view of the entire thousand-foot-high-cliff. Half-way up the rock face was a waving piece of cloth, the flag they had been searching for.

"Hey guys," he yelled, "the flag is up … whoa, Vertigo."

"Up where?" Vince asked. Phillip pointed up the side of the cliff as he held in his nauseous feelings.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Phillip -** (He's sitting on a throne of disinfectant wipes) How on Earth was Rocki able to put the flag where she put it. My acrophobia would have absolutely crippled me. (He thinks about it) Maybe she—

***static***

**James - **I overheard where Rocki was able to hide our flag from Phillip. I question how she was able to place it there without any rapelling equipment. That is of course unless she—

***static***

**Rocki -** I can't for the life of me remember where I hid that flag. (She pauses, then suddenly remembers.) Wait, all I did was—

***static***

**Gwen - **Do you ever get the feeling that maybe sometimes the editing people edit these things to make the audience wonder what we were going to say.

***static***

**Haily - **(She scratches her chin in thought.) Oh my Gosh, I just solved world hunger! All we have to do is—

* * *

"Kayla, could you stop crying," Vince pleaded, "you're getting tears all-over my designer shirt."

"*sniff* I'm over here," the blonde cried from fifteen feet away.

"Then what's dripping on my shoulder?" the raven-haired boy asked. He looked up to see what it was. What happened next was a complete and total blur, green and red blur to be exact.

Izzy dropped down from the tree tops in a graceful leap and landed on the ground. The psycho darted around her opponents, tagging each one.

"Haha!" she exclaimed, "Izzy is successful! Nobody can stop the Izzy."

"That's great Izzy, now could you get off!" Lyle said. The midget was forced down on the ground with Izzy's foot on his stomach.

"Oops, sorry Lyle"

Phillip attempted to sneak up behind the distracted redhead. Phillip raised his hand to tag the girl, but stopped before he touched her. "Oh crap," He hissed, "heterophobia is acting up."

Izzy quickly turned around to see the frightened boy. She tagged him on the shoulder, though by the way he reacted, you'd think that maybe somebody had thrown sulfuric acid on his shoulder. He fell to the ground, rubbing his shoulder, screaming like a ninny (which was weird because he wasn't part of the distraction group)

"St-top m-moving," Harvard stuttered.

"Seriously, you're going to get us disqualified, and you're ruining your clothes," Vince hissed.

"But, she touched me, I have to wipe it off!"

"Thanks for pointing out where the flag was hidden," Izzy said gleefully, "Izzy never would have thought to look up there. … Now how is Izzy going to get it?"

* * *

N00bz – CJ and Rocki

CJ crept through the woods, apparently alone. It makes one wonder where Rocki went.

"Now, if I was Shinichi Kudo on _Detective Conan _looking for a clue," CJ muttered to himself, "Where would I look first."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Rocki's voice echoed from an unseen location, "But I'm pretty sure that if you were … whoever you said, you wouldn't be talking to yourself. It makes you look a little crazy."

"For your information, leading researchers say that talking to yourself is quite beneficial for your mental health. The researchers are Japanese, so you know that they are accurate." CJ began a long soliloquy about how Japanese researchers are the best at what they do, whatever it is.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Duncan - **I found that dork because he wouldn't stop talking to himself about how great Japanese researchers are. I was going to sneak up on him, but his speech was getting incredibly annoying and a little creepy.

* * *

CJ continued to rant to Rocki (not that Duncan knew that) when Duncan stepped out from behind a tree, cutting off the Otaku.

"Vidaldus," CJ seethed.

"It's Duncan, dork." The criminal hissed.

What followed was a stare down of epic proportions. CJ never bat an eyelash. Duncan glared relentlessly. Sweat rolled down CJ's cheek. Duncan's Mohawk began to wilt. CJ's breath quickened. Duncan curled his fist. A bird flew through the eye contact and fainted from the tension.

"Um, am I supposed to do what we talked about now?" Rocki meekly said from her currently unknown hiding spot, thus ending the world's most intense stand-off.

"Yes Rocki, now," CJ mumbled.

"Oh OK" Rocki jumped down from the branch she was perched on, causing leaves to fall in all directions. Duncan looked up at the falling girl. Rocki landed ungracefully on top of the boy.

"Did I get him? Did I get him?" she asked excitedly.

"Oh you got him alright," Duncan chuckled.

"Yeah," CJ moaned. "To bad it was the wrong him!" He was correct. He was laying on his stomach, Rocki sitting awkwardly on his back. Duncan stood in front of the two, keeling over in laughter.

"Thanks Honey," the convict told Rocki, "you just made my Job a whole lot simpler." He ran forward and tagged Rocki, then he tagged CJ. He gave a good by chuckle and ran off.

"How hard is it to land on that … that … Vidaldus wannabe!" CJ huffed.

"Sorry," Rocki pleaded, "I could have sworn that I put enough momentum behind the jump."

"Well you didn't," the boy sighed. "You fail worse than Tsukasa on _Lucky Star_."

"…Thanks I guess," Rocki questioned. The two sat/lied there for several minutes before Rocki just couldn't take the silence anymore. "Well this is awkward."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Rocki - **I was pretty proud of myself. I mean, sure I accidentally ruined mine and CJ's chances of capturing the flag, but I was able to jump from tree limb to tree limb the whole way there. Rocki like a Ninja (she tries to imitate a ninja, but accidently knocks down the camera with her foot.) …oops.

***static***

**CJ - **Not exactly the way I wanted my first physical contact with a girl to go.

* * *

The Golden Oldies – Defenders

The overly crowded water ski washed itself on shore, to the awaiting figures on the shore. Courtney, Justin, Beth, Lindsay, Geoff, Harold, LeShawna, ad Bridgette all grinned greedily at the mass of adolescence.

"CHARGE!" Courtney yelled. She and her teammates ran towards the small distraction group.

"Time out!" a voice, lost somewhere on the water ski, yelled out. The voice belonged to Anna, who pushed a struggling Yael off into the water. The charging contestants, minus Courtney, all stopped dead in their tracks.

"What is your problem?" The CIT snapped. "There are no time outs in Total Drama! We need to attack now while we have an advantage."

"Cut them some slack, Dudette," Geoff told the Brunette.

"Geoff's right," Bridgette agreed, "It's their first challenge. We should at least let them prepare themselves. Plus, it would kind of suck to be frozen in that uncomfortable looking ball."

The mob stood there and watched as a group of new kids struggled to untangle themselves. Somehow, Haily's arm had found it's way wrapped around Fran's neck, who had Sabrina's leg twisted in her sweater, and Sabrina's face … well, we won't say where it was.

"Goodness Gracious, that was rather unpleasant," Elaine complained, if you could call it that.

"The human vertebral column was not meant to bend in such a manner," James said, popping his back in several places.

Miranda scurried around the water ski, appearing to be looking for something. "Has anybody seen Tony?"

Grace stood up beside her teammate, popping her back an obscene number of times. "I think he got pushed off halfway here."

"I'm alive, I'm alive," the celebrity said, pulling himself out of the water.

Diana started to wave her hands back and forth. She then fell back, clutching her right calf muscle. "Holy ***censored* **mother of** *censored* *censored* **my leg is ***censored* **killing me!** *censored* **I hate ***censored* **Charlie horses!"

Jonathon looked like he was running over to help the girl, but actually just sat in front of her to watch. "The pain," he wheezed, "I live for it. Do it some more."

"Wait," Lindsay said from her small group. "I thought a Charlie horse was a group of girls who went around, kicking bad guy butt."

"No, that's Charlie's angels," Justin corrected.

"Thirty-four!" Chris exclaimed over the loudspeaker.

Lindsay was still confused. "But I thought a Charlie's Angel was one of those people that wore all white and flew around singing."

"Lindthey, that'th a heavenly angel," Beth lisped.

"No, a heavenly angel was what those round things in the sky, like Jupiter, were called."

"Girl, that's a heavenly body," LeShawna said.

"No, I have a heavenly body. At least that's what my personal trainer always says."

Half the group facepalmed. "This is getting us nowhere," Courtney snapped. "I say we have given them adequate time to get ready, now we need to charge."

Something tapped the CIT on the shoulder and brushed against her cheek. "You're a bit late for that, sweetheart." Tony whispered in her ear. She gasped, but was unable to turn around because she knew she was frozen. All she could do was order her team like the leader she knew she was. "Charge!"

Her small group of Golden Oldies did as she said, and ran or the mostly ready N00bz. Amanda and Grace darted for the woods, never looking back.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Haily - **Nobody ever really explained what a Ninny (she giggles) does when it's running around, so I had to improvise.

* * *

Haily darted up and down the sandy beach, repeatedly screaming the word 'ninny' at the top of her lungs. She was eventually tagged and told to stop screaming by a slightly annoyed Beth.

Yael was running back and forth, tagging each and every moving figure she felt.

"I'm on your team," Anna told the blind girl.

"I'm already frozen, Gosh," Harold, who had been tagged by Fran, said.

"Now you're just tagging yourself," Miranda, who had been tagged by LeShawna, muttered from a few feet away.

"Are you kidding me?" Yael screamed.

"Yes," Courtney said, her voice dripping in sarcasm, "we all got together before the competition and decided we would lie to you every chance we get."

"No need to get snappy."

Geoff darted forward and tagged Yael.

The war continued until eventually only Elaine and Bridgette were the only non-frozen contestants remaining.

"Oh dear, this is a rather unfortunate predicament we are in, don't you think?" Elaine giggled. The two girls were circling Geoff, the party boy the only thing separating the two.

"True, it's a shame I'm up against such a sweet girl," Bridgette said. "I hate having to be the one that has to take you down."

"Would you quit with the small talk!" Courtney ordered. "Tag her, Bridgette, so you can come unfreeze me!"

"Sorry Elaine," Bridgette mumbled. The surfer jumped forward towards the girl, but landed on her boyfriend, unfreezing him.

"Thanks babe," the party animal told his girlfriend. He puckered up for a kiss but only got a face full of Bridgette's palm.

"Later Geoff, now we need to catch Elaine," Bridgette helped Geoff stand up, and together, they took off after Elaine. The cheery girls was desperately trying to reach a frozen Anna.

Bridgette was slightly faster than Geoff, so she was a few yards ahead when the unthinkable happened. An incredibly small piece of driftwood washed up right in Bridgette's path. Bridgette, being the klutz she is, tripped over the incredibly small piece of driftwood.

The surfer girl fell forward and rolled toward Elaine. Somehow, through the cosmic wonders that be, Bridgette was somehow capable of rolling faster than Elaine ran, thus catching up to her.

Bridgette struggled to get up, and in her struggle, tagged Elaine. "Oh Fudge." Elaine muttered.

"I think," Diana hollered from down the beach, "you mean ***censored***"

"No, I mean fudge."

"I did it," Bridgette said in a shocked voice. "I did it!"

"That's great Bridgette," Courtney said cordially, "Now come unfreeze me!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Geoff - **Did you see that tag? I have never been more proud of my little dudette before.

***static***

**Elaine - **That was a marvelous tag by Bridgette. I was honored to have lost to such a beautifully skilled girl.

***static***

**Gwen - **(she's looking awkwardly around the outhouse) It feels … positive in here, like somebody was relentlessly complimenting someone else … I don't like cheerful.

***static***

**Diana - *censored* **My leg still hurts. Where the ***censored* **can a girl find a ***censored* **banana in this joint?

***static***

**Jonathon - **(He's smiling uncontrollably) Did you see the way her leg twitched in pain? It made me want to giggle like a giddy little school girl!

**Haily - **(From outside the outhouse) Now that's a sight I would have liked to see.

**Jonathon - **(He pounds the side of the building, causing something made of glass to shatter on the other side) Would you quit listening in!

***static***

**Haily - **(She's holding onto several small shards of glass) Jonathon broke the glass I was using to listen in on people. Now how am I supposed to listen to these people's deepest darkest secrets?

* * *

The N00bz – Vanessa and Ethan

Vanessa trudged through one of Boney Island's many swamps, with Ethan quite a bit of ways behind her.

"Wait up, Vanessa," the lagging teen yelled. Vanessa rolled her eyes, but stopped where she was to allow the boy to catch up.

"Would it kill you to actually try to keep up?" Vanessa snapped.

"Would it kill you to slow down? Sure, you're a woman on a mission, but you could at least slow down." Ethan panted, bending over in exhaustion.

"You're rather sad, you know that," Vanessa spat. "You're in gym clothes, I'm in club clothes, yet I'm the one who's fairing better at this." The girl began to move again, not even looking back at the tired boy.

"Do you have to be so rude?" Ethan yelled, a little louder than what would have been required. The yell awoke one of the many prehistoric geese that inhabit the island, and let's just say this goose wasn't a morning person. It yet out a loud screech.

"Oh crap!" Ethan gasped. The brunet boy ran as fast as he could away from the speeding avian. He tried to lose the bird by running zigzag patterns through the trees, but the bird was faster and more agile than he originally anticipated. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap." He chanted.

The goose dove for Ethan, who ducked seconds before the outstretched talons could sink into his neck. The bird's eyes turned red with rage, angered at the boy for avoiding its attacks.

It emitted a menacing screech as it turned for a second attack. Ethan tried to run even further from the bird, but his foot got stuck in the mud. "VANESSA, HELP!" Ethan called out, waving his arms furiously.

Vanessa didn't even turn around to look at her teammate. "No, you need to kick your lazy ass into gear if you want to walk with—" She was interrupted by Ethan's piercing scream. She rolled her eyes and turned just in time to see Ethan lifted into the air, his right foot now missing a shoe.

The bird had the boy by the collar of his shirt. He wriggled back and forth, trying to fight off the bird. As the bird flew higher and higher, Ethan heard a sound that was even more frightening than the goose's screech: the sound of his shirt ripping. He saw a long gash that extended from his armpit. The shirt continued to rip until only a few threads kept Ethan from plummeting towards the Earth.

The remaining threads broke, sending Ethan falling. Luckily, a branch broke his fall, followed by another branch, a bird's nest, and finally a rock.

Vanessa stared at the shirtless and one shoe wearing boy in disbelief. "You really are pathetic." She laughed.

"Shut it." Ethan snapped as he began to trudge off.

"Don't you snap at me," Vanessa snapped. "The only reason you…"

The camera pans over to a shady looking bush, the audio of Vanessa's speech fading into the background. Hiding behind the shady bush, was a smirking Grace.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Grace - **In a reality show, there is only one thing that is more beneficial than acting like a nice girl, and that one thing is leverage, and boy did Vanessa and Ethan provide me with some juicy leverage.

* * *

A twig snapped from behind Grace. The girl whirled around to see Sadie standing right behind her.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," the chubby BFFFL said. Thus began the most awkward stare-down in recorded history.

Suddenly, Katie darted forward and tagged Grace, thus ending the most awkward stare-down in recorded history.

"See," Katie said to Sadie, "I told you that stare-down would work at distracting them."

"No, Noah said to try it, all you did was agree."

"So, it's just like I was telling you."

"No it wasn't. What took you so long anyway?"

"Oh, I ran into that Amanda girl in the woods and stopped to tag her."

"Did she put up a good fight."

"Not really, all she tried to do was try some stand-up routine. It wasn't really that good."

"Oh, poor you."

"Will you two shut up," Vanessa yelled from the other side of the bush.

"Oh my Gosh, Katie, did you even see them over there?" Sadie asked her BFF.

"No, I didn't. That's kind of weird." The BFF replied.

"Do you think we should go tag them?"

"Yeah, but try not to listen to their conversation, it seems like it's a private matter." Katie strutted around the bush, into the clearing Vanessa and Ethan were in. She began to hum 'Pop Goes the Weasel' to herself, covering up the sound of Vanessa's speech. Katie tagged both of them, then went back to her BFF. (Ethan tried to tag her first, but Vanessa stopped him, saying it was rude to ignore her)

* * *

Confession Cam

**Katie - **When I first got here, I came to use the washroom and Izzy was in the stall next to me. Since then, I've had 'Pop Goes the Weasel' stuck in my head.

***static***

**Vanessa - **I can't believe that I let her freeze us! It was so stupid of me, but I had to make sure that Ethan knew what I had to tell him. He had to know his place.

***static***

**Ethan - **Vanessa is so frikkin' stubborn. I tried to get Katie before she got us, but no, I have to know my place. God, what a twit.

***static***

**Chris - **Me and Chef made a bet on who would win, loser had to finish repairing the dock. I had my money on the new kids, but with all of them frozen, my chances of winning are seriously bad. I highly doubt I'm going to win now. (his cell-phone begins to ring) Yello … Yeah … Oh, it's time for commercial … I'll get right on it. (he hangs up) Apparently its time to go to commercial, so, **How will the N00bz get out of their frozen predicament? What is this leverage Vanessa gave Grace? What jerk ass move will I pull to make sure I win the bet? And who's voice actor got the short end of the stick? **All these questions and more will be answered after this commercial break!

* * *

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**1. Heterophobia = fear of the opposite sex.**

**Team breakdown (because I know you need it)**

**Golden Oldies**

**Capturing the flag: Izzy **

**Defending their flag: Noah, Lindsay (F), Tyler, LeShawna (F), Katie, Sadie, Gwen, Courtney, Owen, Duncan, Justin (F), Ezekiel, Heather, Geoff (F), Bridgette, Harold (F), Cody, Beth (F), DJ, Eva, Trent**

**N00bz**

**Capturing the flag: CJ (F), Rocki (F), Vanessa (F), Ethan (F)**

**Defending / searching for their flag: Phillip (F), Harvard (F), Lyle (F), Vince (F), Kayla (F)**

**Distraction: James (F), Haily (F), Tony (F), Jonathon (F), Elaine (F), Miranda (F), Yael (F), Sabrina (F), Amanda (F), Fran (F), Diana (F), Grace (F), Anna (F)**


	3. Day 1 Part 3: Move it and lose it

**Disclaimer- **I own absolutely nothing, yeah, I know … sad day. Please do nothing that these characters do. Well, nothing extreme. I guess you could do the breathing part. But only do it sparingly.

IMPORTANT Author's NOTE – Turns out, TDWT came out much faster than I anticipated, so after much deliberation, I have decided to change this into a season 4 fic. I have gone back and changed things to where they include Sierra and Alejandro's absence (they are joining the competition in the next chapter.) I'm pretty sure that's it, Ezekiel's turn as Gollum will be addressed in a later chapter.

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**The Golden Oldies – Izzy**

Izzy stood at the top of the thousand-foot-high-cliff, reminiscent of the first challenge last season. The red-head prepared herself with a perfect beginning diving pose. She leapt off the cliff.

Izzy plummeted towards the thrashing waters. Halfway down the cliff, Izzy passed by the flag, missing it by just a few inches. The redhead continued to fall until she landed in the water with a dive that deserved to be in the Olympics.

Izzy popped her head out of the water, smiling her normal smile. She looked up at the thousand-foot-high-cliff questionably. "Now how am I supposed to get that flag?"

* * *

The N00bz – Rocki & CJ

The two teens were in the same, awkward pose, Rocki straddling CJ's back.

"Do you think Vanessa and Ethan are doing better than we are?" Rocki asked.

"For the third time, I don't know." CJ snapped. "They probably had something to do with those goose screeches we heard."

"Oh, that must have sucked."

Suddenly, the bush in front of the two started to rustle. They held their breath in anticipation.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's one of those mutant beavers coming to rip the flesh off our bones, or a rabid bear coming to brake our bones to dust, or a sadistic reality show host coming to force us to sing about our awkward predicament, or maybe it's a squirrel coming to throw nuts at us."

"Wait, why would a bear grind your bones to dust?"

"Really?" CJ asked, "Out of that whole list, that's the one you question."

"Would you two shut up!" A voice from the bush snapped. Chris stepped from out of the shadows, rubbing his temples in frustration.

"What do you want, Kira?" CJ muttered.

"Um, it's Chris," the host corrected.

"I know, Kira."

"Whatever nerd boy," the host spat. "I just came here to tell you losers that you can move."

"No we can't," Rocki pointed out. "Duncan tagged both of us."

"True, but Duncan made the mistake of not tagging you two at the same time. Because an unfrozen CJ was touching Rocki when she was tagged, she was unfrozen, and since Rocki was touching CJ when he was tagged, he was unfrozen."

"I guess that makes sense, but why is he talking to us in third person."

"Of course it makes sense," CJ sighed, "now would you please get off of me!" Rocki quickly pulled herself off of the otaku. CJ awkwardly got up off the ground, his back popping many, many times.

"That didn't sound very good," Chris pointed out.

"Whatever, can we go now?"

"Sure, it's not like I'm going to stop you."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Chris - **Sure, I could have pulled a jerk ass move and unfroze the entire N00bz team to make sure I won the bet, but I'm only aloud TWO jerk ass moves this season, and there is no way I am going to waste one of them on the first challenge.

***static***

**CJ -** (He arches his back, and we here something snap) OW!

* * *

The Golden Oldies – Izzy

Izzy was still trying to think up a way to get the dangerously placed flag. She had thought of training a falcon to retrieve it for her, but decided she didn't have enough coconuts for that. She considered using Owen as a trampoline to get to the flag, but since there was a lack of ex-boyfriend, that plan wasn't able to happen. Then the perfect plan popped itself in the little red-heads head.

"I'm not sure I like the look in her eyes," Lyle mumbled.

Izzy darted into the woods. She was gone for a good seven and a half minutes before she came tumbling out, yards upon yards of vines in her arms.

"Where d-did she g-get vines in the f-forest?" Harvard asked.

Izzy dropped the vines on the white sandy beach. She set to work, her hands working the vines with the precision only somebody who knew what they were doing could possibly have (or somebody that was good at improvising, with Izzy you never know.)

Izzy stepped back to look at her handiwork. She had made a sturdy rope. It was so sturdy, to test it, she bit it and it barely left a mark.

Izzy sprinted over to all of the frozen teens on the opposing team. She first reached Vince. She began to tie her makeshift rope around the raven-haired boy's waist.

"Whoa there little miss psycho, you have to take me to dinner before I even consider that?" The male fashionista asked.

"W-why are you t-tying us all t-together?" Harvard asked.

"I'm going to climb the cliff and I need a belay team, and you people are the only ones around that I can tie up." Izzy laughed as she pulled the knot tight.

"To … tight. No … circulation," Vince gasped.

"But Chris said not to move," Kayla reminded the redhead.

"True, but if I force you guys to move, he can't really do anything about it can he?"

Izzy continued to tie the small defense group together. Kayla was after Vince, then Lyle, then Harvard, and finally Phillip.

"Alright! Let's go for it!" Izzy exclaimed as she took off towards the cliff. Phillip tried to slow her down by clawing at the ground, but he was no match for a determined Izzy.

* * *

The N00bz – Vanessa, Ethan, and Grace

Grace stood behind the bush, out of view of her two teammates. She had gotten all the information she needed, and decided that now was the best time to announce her presence.

"You know," she shouted, interrupting Vanessa's long speech, "If you want to keep something a secret, you really shouldn't scream it for the entire island to hear."

Vanessa went rigid, the one advantage she had in the game was just thrown completely out the window. She tried to turn to face the hidden commentator.

"Don't do it," Ethan scolded, "I don't want to lose this challenge just because some chick squashed your pride!"

"Fine…" Vanessa huffed. The teen took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Are you going to tell everybody?"

"Of course not," Grace chortled. "That is, if you do something for me."

"Let me guess, vote for whoever you say?"

"Oh," Grace chuckled, "so you aren't as stupid as your actions say you are."

"Would you just shut up you stupid little ***censored***"

"Hey," Ethan scolded, "We have enough foul language from that Diana girl, no need for you to swear too."

"So, do we have a deal," Grace said slyly.

Vanessa clenched her fists tightly and took a deep breath. "Fine," she huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Good"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Grace - **I am going to rule this game. Everything I do has been meticulously planned. Heck, this catholic school-girl outfit guarantees that I'm going to make it to the top twenty on teen boy hormones alone. The fact that I already have two little slaves just makes this all the more simple.

***static***

**Vanessa -** Oh, that girl is so going to learn not to mess with me.

* * *

The N00bz – Amanda

Amanda stood in the small clearing, murmuring small, clichéd jokes to herself. "To get to the other side," she muttered, giggling to herself at the pathetic little joke.

A brief chuckle erupted from behind the blonde. "That's funny, eh," Ezekiel said as he walked around the girl. The Prairie boy turned to face the girl. "I never woould have thought of that, it's so simple, eh."

"Glad you liked it," Amanda beamed. Once Ezekiel was able to get a better look at the boy, she wasn't beaming anymore.

"Say, aren't you the sexist one?"

"Well, yeah but I didn't knoow what I was saying, eh," Ezekiel said, scratching his neck nervously.

Amanda looked at him suspiciously. "I guess I understand," she shrugged, "I've made plenty of racist, sexist, homophobic, dead baby, and kitten jokes in my life. I guess I can understand where you're coming from."

"Cool," Ezekiel smiled. The Prairie boy was finally having a conversation with a girl, and it wasn't his mother, and she wasn't offended.

"You wanna hear some more jokes?" Amanda asked.

"Sure!"

The two teens stood there for a good fifteen minutes. Amanda told jokes, some decent, others were morally compromising, and some didn't even make since. Ezekiel chuckled his throaty laugh at every joke, even the ones he only partially understood.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Ezekiel - **It was really cool to talk to Amanda, eh. After the first season, I learned that I was kind of wrong to say those things about girls. If only I could convince all the girls here to believe that. Now I just hope nobody brings up the…volcano.

* * *

DJ and Heather were strolling through the woods together. DJ was saying how he tried to keep away from all the animals, because he didn't think his curse had worn off.

Heather gritted her teeth. She had decided to work with the giant to see if she could form an ally, but was slowly beginning to despise her decision.

The two entered the clearing to see Ezekiel laughing at one of Amanda's lamer jokes.

Heather was enraged. "What are you doing, you stupid boy!" She snapped. "You should be moving through the woods, protecting our flag, not having a night at the comedy club!"

"Heather," DJ muttered as he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should try to calm down."

"Oh go slaughter a baby seal again," the queen bee hissed. The gentle giant hurtfully withdrew his hand. He whimpered pitifully as he escaped into the woods.

"That was really crool, eh," Ezekiel chastised, getting a death glare from Heather.

"Shut it, Zeke. You are definitely at the top of my list."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say somebody is going to be the first one to go, again, if I have anything to say about it." With that, she stormed off in the opposite direction of DJ.

"Wow, and I thought my aunt Chuck was bitter when Uncle Freddy ran over her foot," Amanda joked. She turned to see if Ezekiel laughed at her (what she thought was funny) family story. Instead, he looked as if he was deep in thought.

"I think Heather's right, eh," he mused, "I shood probably go look for the others, can't let my team down. See you later Amanda!" The home-schooled outcast gave a parting smile to the blonde, then walked in a third direction, away from both Heather and DJ.

"Wait," Amanda shrieked, "I have loads of other jokes. I can tell you this one about what happens when a school teacher and a lettuce have a baby together!" No response came from the deep shadows of the forest. Amanda looked incredibly panicked.

* * *

Confession Cam

**DJ – **Don't tell anybody, but I still hate how I hurt all those animals last season. I think I might still have that curse! Maybe I shouldn't have brought bunny with me.

***static***

**Heather – **I understand what Courtney feels like. She wants Gwen gone because she took what she loved. I want Ezekiel gone because he took what I love. Guess which one is going to succeed first.

***static***

**Amanda - **(she's twitching uncontrollably) The silence in the woods was getting to me, I was resorting to chicken jokes! If Ezekiel hadn't shown up, I probably would have gone bonkers. Maybe running into the woods away from everybody wasn't a good idea. At least on the beach I could have talked to the other peoples.

* * *

The N00bz – Rocki & CJ

"No, we are not going to try it again," CJ moaned for the umpteenth time. He and Rocki had been walking for quite a while. In their search, they had scoured the beaches, infiltrated the safety of a squirrels nest, and climbed the horrors of skull cave. They'd even found Tyler relieving himself, causing the jock to be in a very awkward position when CJ tagged him.

"But I won't mess it up this time," Rocki pleaded, her wide-eyes pleading with the otaku.

"No," CJ snapped, "my back feels like I had the full force of Cero thrust upon it."

"Aww, why don't you try being the one in the trees?"

"Let's just say watching anime doesn't give you the best coordination," the nerd shuddered.

"Oh," Rocki muttered. The two awkwardly walked down the trail. It was so awkward, a turtle on the side of the trail could feel the awkwardness, and proceeded to do the awkward turtle.

"Where exactly are we going anyway?" Rocki asked as she kicked pebble.

"Wherever would be a good place to hide the flag," CJ muttered. "With Noah as their leader, only somebody as brilliant as Hayao Miyazaki would know where to look."

"What about in there?" Rocki asked, pointing at the large beaver cave in front of them. She kicked the smooth pebble again.

"That could work," CJ shrugged, "and don't think I'm saying you're as brilliant as Miyazaki."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Now we just need to make sure there is nothing in there that's going to eat our faces off," the otaku bent down to pick up Rocki's pebble. To bad she was going to kick the pebble at the same moment. Shoe met hand in a very painful collision.

CJ reeled in pain. He clutched his conformed hand. "What was that for?"

"Sorry, I didn't know you were going to get it," Rocki said. She hurried over to inspect the boy's mangled hand.

"Don't touch it," CJ whined, whipping his hand away. "Just throw the pebble into the cave and see if anything comes out. "

Rocki nodded. She picked up her small pebble and chucked it at the cave entrance, only to have it fall a few feet short. "What do I do now?"

"Since you fail at throwing," CJ muttered, "Go get the rock and try again."

"Why don't I just go look in the cave?"

"That could work to."

Rocki tried to creep up to the cave by using her super-ultra ninja moves, the ninja moves of failure. She ended up stepping on every stick and crunchy leaf on the way to the cave.

She ducked behind a rather large boulder that was at the entrance. She took a deep breath and peeked at what lay in the cave. She saw beavers, almost a dozen of them, and they were wooly. One was even wrapped around the pole of the orange flag of the opposing team. (P.S. Not that kind of beaver you sick nasties)

Rocki gave a light whimper, picked up her pebble, and dashed back to her crippled teammate.

"What was it?" CJ asked, worried about the look in her eyes. "Was it a bear? A snake? Oh my Studio Ghibli, you saw Kira write your name in the death note!"

Rocki shook her head. "Let's just say that the wooly beavers from the first season weren't all special effects like I thought."

"Oh, that's not good. Was the flag in there?"

"Yep"

"Well … go get it," CJ said as he pushed Rocki towards the cave with his good hand.

"No way," Rocki retorted, "I already went, it's your turn."

CJ glared at his partner. "Rock, paper, scissors to decide who goes?"

"Bring it, if there's one thing I rule at, it's rock, paper, scissors." Rocki said, giving CJ the universal 'bring it' hand gesture.

The two teens struck a combat pose. They chanted, "Rock, paper, scissors shoot!" Rocki's hand went flat, signifying that she chose paper. CJ accidentally used his damaged hand, causing it to form nothing recognizable.

"Yes," Rocki shouted, "I won!"

"How?"

"If paper can beat rock, it can definitely beat mangled hand," Rocki gloated. CJ stared blankly at the girl.

* * *

Confession Cam

**CJ – **How exactly are you supposed to argue with that logic?

***static***

**Rocki – **I sure lucked out there. I didn't really think he would fall for that.

* * *

CJ stood at the mouth of the cave, trembling at the sight of the beavers.

"Come on, CJ," Rocki urged from her position behind the boulder, "just run in there and grab the flag. They're all asleep."

"So why don't you go get it?" The otaku retorted.

"Because all I'd end up doing is trip, wake them up, then we both become a nice little side note in Chris's introduction in the next episode."

"That's a pleasant way to say we both die."

"True, now stop changing the subject and go get the flag."

CJ grimaced at the idea of entering the cave of certain doom. "I'm going to die," he whispered as he took the first step into the cave, "I'm going to die a death worse than any one of Sakura Kusakabe's on Dokuro-chan."

"You're death won't be that bad."

"You watch Dokuro-chan?"

"No, I'm being supportive, Now hurry up, we're on a time limit."

CJ, knowing what Rocki said was true, tip-toed quickly through the cave. He made sure to never step near the large mammals.

He eventually reached the flag, which was getting a little friendly with a rather large beaver. "How am I supposed to get it?" CJ whispered to himself.

"Try switching it with something, like in Indiana Jones!" Rocki whispered from the cave entrance.

CJ was unable to hear what she said. "What?" he hissed.

"I said try switching it like in Indiana Jones!" she shouted. Realizing what she had done, Rocki clapped her hands over her mouth, but it was too late. The beavers (who are notoriously light sleepers) woke up, each and every one of them.

CJ gasped and took up a defensive position to defend his prized possessions. (His eyes, he can't watch anime without them.) "What now?" he asked.

"Grab the flag while they're all groggy and run!"

CJ gave a quick whine before he sprinted to the beaver holding the flag. He grabbed the flag and yanked on it, and he yanked hard. The beaver holding the flag was reluctant to let go of the flag. The boy and the mammal began to play tug-o-war, man vs. beast, nerd vs. slightly cooler being. Eventually, CJ realized that all of the beavers in the cave were losing their grogginess. CJ thought light on his feet, and did the only thing he could think of, the geek slapped the beast.

The beaver, distracted by the light sting on his cheek, momentarily let go of the flag. CJ took this time to steal the flag away from the monstrous mammal. He darted out of the cave like he was missing a new episode of, well, any anime.

Rocki chased after him as he headed into the swamp.

The (now flagless) beaver glared at the retreating adolescents. He let out a menacing war-cry and led a stampede of his fellow beavers to get his flag back.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Rocki**** - **It's weird, being chased by a herd of prehistoric beavers and a mob of angry soccer moms feels oddly similar.

***static***

**Chris - **(he chuckles) See, I told chef paying for those beavers weren't a waist of money.

***static***

**CJ - **Why was that beaver so protective of that flag?

***static***

**Chris – **(he laughs as he holds up the flag) For those of you who don't know, this flag is on the pole Bridgette made out with back in the Yukon, Then Beth had a little fling with it, and now it apparently has a thing for wooly beavers. (he gives one last chuckle, places the pole against the wall of the outhouse, and exits)

***static***

**Beth - **(she glances at the flag and nervously scratches the back of her neck) So … how've you been?

***static***

**Geoff – **(he's lecturing the flag) And you better stay away from my Bridgette!

***static***

**Anna**** -** (she opens the door and stares blankly at the flag) POLE - SKANK! (She grabs the flag and tosses it out of the stall)

* * *

People on Wawanakwa island

Phillip let out an ear piercing scream and closed his eyes. He was at the bottom of a long line of rock climbers. Well, if you looked at the situation, you'd actually consider them rock-danglers.

Izzy was half-way up to the flag, followed by Vince, Kayla, Lyle, Harvard, and Phillip (in that order). All of the Noobz were doing as Chris (who had come by to remind them) had said, not moving from the position that they had been tagged in, thus they were dangling 250 feet above the ground. Since nobody was helping Izzy hold the weight, she was having to pull through a serious amount of strain.

"You guys should really try hitting an elliptical sometime," the crazy-redhead grunted as she lifted the party up to a new ledge.

"W-well, if you had-dn't t-tied us up a-and d-d-dragged us up here, y-you w-wouldn't have to p-pull all of us up the s-side of a c-cliff!" Harvard pointed out.

"True, but then I wouldn't have this nice belay team."

Kayla, still tearing up from her terrible break-up, was crying even harder from her fear of heights. Lyle, who was right below her, was sopping wet and in desperate need of an umbrella.

"Kayla," the midget pleaded, "could you stop crying, your getting your break-up tears all over me." The boy began to spit, as if he had swallowed something poisonous. "EW! Some of it got in my mouth. It tastes like sorrow and crushed dreams."

"You can *sniff* tell all that *sob* from my tears?" Kayla whimpered.

Lyle was going to give a relatively witty remark but was cut off by another scream from Phillip, who had just opened his eyes.

"Dude," Vince shouted, "if you just keep your eyes shut, you won't have to keep looking at the ground."

"But then my Myctophobia starts to act up!" Phillip shouted.

"Well, scream in silence, please. I'm getting a headache."

"Scream in silence?" Izzy questioned. "I'm crazy and even I know that's impossible … on second thought, I'm going to try it."

"You do that," Vince murmured. Izzy did so, or she didn't, we don't really know.

The party continued up the side of the cliff in silence (minus Phillips screams, Kayla's sobs, and the sounds of nature.) When Izzy was a good fifty feet away from the flag, one of the island's native pink birds (only in Canada) landed on the rope between Harvard and Lyle.

"sh-shoo lit-ttle b-birdie," Harvard stuttered. "Go f-fly somew-where else."

The bird began to nibble on the rope.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Harvard – **W-what k-kind of bird j-just randomly ch-chews on a r-r-rope?

***static***

**Chef – **(he's holding the pink bird and gives it a treat) Who's a good birdie? Yes, you are. (He looks at the camera) What? I get a bonus for every amusing injury I'm responsible for, and daddy needs a new pair of slippers.

* * *

"Guys," Lyle shouted, "we have a slight problem down here!"

"What kind of slight problem?" Izzy grunted, "The kind that can be fixed with duct tape or the kind that can be fixed with Tylenol?"

"Neither"

"Wow, you guys are screwed."

The bird continued to nibble on the rope. Harvard kept trying to shoo it away, which looked odd because of his inability to move.

"What are you doing up there?" Phillip, who was still staring at the ground, asked.

"Harvard took a breath. "W-well, th-there's a…"

"Shhhhhh," Lyle interrupted. "We don't want him to start panicking."

"R-right," the musician mumbled.

"What exactly is it that would make me start to panic?" Phillip said, his breath starting to panic.

"n-nothing," Harvard lied.

The rope was down to it's last few strands. Izzy gave one last lurch and grabbed the flag. "Yes!" The redhead shouted. In her celebration, she accidently let go of the cliff side. The party of teenagers began to fall to the ground.

Harvard whimpered. Phillip screamed. Kayla cried. Lyle prayed to every known God, spirit, and Oprah for his survival. Vince managed to slip his vest off without moving (which took talent) and flung it away from the falling people.

Phillip hit the ground with a thud, though miraculously didn't break any bones. Unfortunately for the teenage boy, the others all landed on him.

Izzy landed triumphantly on top of her competitors, who groaned (or sobbed) in pain. The red-head raised her flag and let out a well known Cherokee war-cry.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Phillip – **(again, he's sitting on a pile of disinfectant wipes) and people wonder why I have all these fears! My dad said (he lowers his voice_) When are you ever going to be plummeting to the ground from 150 feet in the air due to faulty climbing equipment? What a stupid fear. _(he speaks in his regular voice) Not so stupid now, is it dad?

***static***

**Vince – **(he's inspecting his vest) aha! Not a stitch out of place.

***static***

**Lyle – **(He looks up at the sky) Oprah, you pulled through again.

***static***

**Izzy – **Izzy got the flag, and Izzy has all my opponents to think. Yay for enemies!

* * *

People on the beach of Boney Island

Bridgette hurried to unfreeze all of her teammates. Courtney first, then she moved on to Harold. She was inches away from tagging him when LeShawna burst out in rage.

"Don't even think about touching my man!" the large sister exclaimed from her position twenty yards down the beach.

"well what do you want me to do?" Bridgette returned, exasperated by LeShawna's rage.

"I want you to come and unfreeze me so I can-"

"no," Fran interrupted just a few feet from the surfer, "ignore her. Just touch him, just once. For me...er...him...er somebody, just do it, please?"

Bridgette looked questionably between a begging Fran, angered LeShawna, and a slightly wierded out Harold. She then reached a conclusion that she knew was right: she walked over and unfroze LeShawna first.

"Thanks girl," LeShawna sighed.

* * *

Confession Cam

**LeShawna -** Okay, so maybe I was a little harsh on Bridgette. It's just that I haven't seen Harold since last season and the first time I see him he's macking with another girl! That's not right.

***static***

**Bridgette - **I like to think that I made the right decision. LeShawna's one of my friends, why would I want to ruin that? That Fran girl is a bit unsettling.

***static***

**Fran - **These people think their happy with their boyfriends and girlfriends, but apparently I'm the only one who knows who truly belongs with who. That's the main reason I'm here, I'm going to make sure that everybody gets it right this time, especially the person who belongs with me.

* * *

Minutes later, the entirety of the Golden Oldies on the beach were unfrozen. The teens were milling around the beach, unsure of what there was to do.

Beth suggested they stand there and watch Justin. The model made no objection.

Lindsay suggested they look for the flag. Harold tried to explain to the blonde that their job was to protect the flag, not look for it. Lindsay jut didn't understand, so the nerd gave up.

Courtney tried to control her comrades and get them to complete a worthwhile task. Her teammates completely ignored her.

Out of nowhere, Chris appeared quite a ways out in the water, riding a new water ski. He unsnapped a megaphone from the side of the water ski and unhooked it. The handsome host held the piece of technology up to his mouth.

LeShawna beat the host to speaking. "Oh no, Don't even think about making us sing, again! We had enough of that crap last season."

"Relax LeShawna," Chris said over the megaphone, "There's not going to be that much singing this season. Maybe a song here or there, but that's it. I'm here just to drop a little reminder to all the N00bz on the island."

"Oh, I'm listening with baited breath," Sabrina sighed.

"I just want to make sure that you all know that you can't move. Even if, say, a stampede of epic proportions, so don't move unless you get untagged." The host made a one-eighty on his water and made his way back to Wawanakwa.

"Am I the only one that is at least a little disturbed by the fact that he bothered to come and remind us of that?" Anna asked.

"Nah," Bridgette replied, "Chris just enjoys psyching you out. After a week on the show, you'll learn to kind of just ignore him."

"I don't know," Courtney chimed, "his example was pretty specific. Maybe we should just move away from here."

"No way, Dudette," Geoff hollered, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend. "This is a prime time to catch some rays with my little hotty right here."

Bridgette giggled lightly and gave her boyfriend a light peck on the lips. That peck quickly escalated into a full blown make-out session. Courtney rolled her eyes and dragged Bridgette away from Geoff.

"Bridgette," the CIT chastised, "we talked about this. You're not allowed to make out with Geoff until after the challenge. I can't have you getting kicked off because you can't control your lips again."

The surfer pouted but agreed. She settled with just holding her boyfriend's hand.

A while later, when Chris warning was becoming a fading memory, the ground began to shake.

"Earthquake!" Haily screamed happily. (we're not exactly sure why…)

Everyone was terrified. They had no idea what exactly the best course of action.

"Let's hide under the desks!" Lindsay proudly suggested.

"Honey," Elaine said calmly, "as good of an idea that is, it's probably not the best solution right now."

"Oh, okay"

A terrified scream that somebody would have confused with Phillip's if anybody had known him well erupted from the forest.

CJ came barreling out of the forest, carrying the flag. The sheer horror on his face told of the horrors of what was behind him. Well, what was behind Rocki, because she was behind him and wasn't that horrifying.

"Okay," Yael shouted, "what's going on? Everything went all quite after that scream."

Suddenly, the stampede of beasts broke free from the tree line. Their tusks swung back and forth with each and every step they took.

"Oh ***censored* *censored* *censored* **."

Rocki, CJ, and most of the Golden Oldies darted past all of their frozen teens. It was Bridgette that made the life-saving announcement. "You guys, we have to try and unfreeze everyone!"

"Girl, we can't help them," LeShawna said as she tugged on her friends arm. "Their best hope is for them to move and just lose this stupid game."

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Rocki turned back and sprinted past the surfer to save the lives of her fellow teammates.

* * *

Confession Cam

**James – **How could those beavers even be real? I don't recall ever reading about them. (He pulls out an I-phone)

***static***

**Geoff – **And that's why I love Bridgette. She's always thinking of other people.

***static***

**Rocki – **I knew that that was the time for me to prove I was more than just a series of failures and mishaps. That, and I didn't want anyone to, you know, die.

***static***

**James – **(he's reading off the I-phone screen) _Chrisalus Beaverus_, discovered by the one and only Chris Mclean. (he's finished reading) I believe now is the time for what they call a face hand.

* * *

The blonde darted back and forth, tagging each and every one of her frozen teammates. Diana, Jonathon, and Miranda were the first to be set free.

Miranda charged for Tony, scooped him up in her arms in a gender inverted bridal position, and took off down the beach.

"How do we get out of here?" Beth yelped.

"Get on the water ski," Courtney suggested.

"We can't," Harold told the CIT, "CJ took off with it as soon as he got on it."

"Now what?"

"I don't know," LeShawna hollered in a way that only LeShawna could, "but whatever it is, move!"

Rocki had unfrozen a majority of her team during the course of the discussion. She tagged the last of the teammates that she saw, Yael.

"Am I unfrozen?" The blind teen asked.

"Yes," Rocki screamed as she ran away from the still charging beavers. Yael, still in her state of no eye-sight, ran towards the beasts instead.

"Yael, you're running the wrong way," everybody screamed, but they were drowned out by the grunts and snorts made by the beavers.

A blur moved quickly across the white sand of the beach. It went flying through the air and tackled Yael, sending her toppling out of the path of destruction.

"You really need to get your glasses," Sabrina, who had been the mysterious blur that saved Yael's life, panted.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Yael – **(she's actually facing the camera. Way to go Yael!) What can I say, I was panicking. Nobody would tell me what was going on. All I knew was that something bad was happening, and we were all in danger. So, I ran to the moving blurs, I assumed they were everybody else. I sure am lucky that Sabrina was there to save my life.

***static***

**Sabrina – **I didn't want her to go get trampled to death. Even though that would have gotten some good ratings, and I know how Chris likes his ratings.

* * *

The beavers charged into the water, just barely missing the contestants. Sadly for them, their large masses wouldn't allow for them to swim after CJ and their beloved flag.

Downtrodden, the beavers made their way back into the swamps of Boney Island.

"Well that was anti-climatic" Harold wheezed.

* * *

Lake Wawanakwa

CJ was speeding across the surface of the water. He had placed the flag between his legs in order to ensure that it would not fall off. The flag placement was obstructing his view.

"Hey, watch it," a voice called. The voice belonged to Izzy, who went astoundingly flying by on a pair of skis. The astounding part was the fact that she wasn't being pulled by any form of aquatic transportation.

CJ had to make a double take to see the girl break the laws of physics.

* * *

Confession Cam

**CJ – **How is that even possible?

***static***

**Izzy – **There are just some things that can only be explained by me being crazy awesome.

***static***

**Owen – **(He's reading off some flashcards) For some reason, when Izzy reached the island, Chef came and picked us all up in the boat of losers. He wouldn't tell us who won, just that we were all meeting up at the campfire area to announce the winner. (He opens the door) Chris, I'm done reading, can I come out now?

* * *

The forty-four contestants were all crowded into the tiny bonfire ceremony area. They were clearly divided into new and old.

Chris stood at his typical spot behind he oil drum.

"I'm sure you're all wondering who won the challenge," the narcissist grinned.

"Um, yeah, we are," Anna muttered.

"Well, it was"

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"Great, he's doing dramatic pause crap again," Gwen spat.

"Shush!"

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"The N00bz!"

The new contestants let out an uproarious scream. Most of them hi-fived and hugged each other each other in celebration. Only the few socially awkward ones elected to stick out of the celebration and just smile.

The returning campers gasped in horror. They all knew that one of them was going to be leaving soon, and looked anxiously at one another.

Elaine walked over and congratulated each and every member of the losing team on giving a good effort.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Elaine -** It makes me really sad to see all the others sad, so I figured I'd give them a little pick me up.

***static***

**Trent -** I can honestly say that I don't want to see anybody leave so soon, not even Heather. Yeah, that last part is incredibly hard to believe. Maybe I'll vote for Duncan...

* * *

"Congrats to the CJ for being the first person to bring the opposing team's flag to their island," Chris exclaimed happily.

The new contestants cheered wildly and clapped the otaku on the back. CJ smiled happily at being the pride of the team, he even puffed his chest out slightly.

"for winning the challenge, the N00bz avoid elimination, receive a special mattress for their bed, and I get fifty bucks into my pocket, so fork it over, Chef."

"Not so fast, pretty boy," the burly man huffed. "I have evidence that one of the new kids broke the rules."

"And what exactly is this proof?"

Chef pulled a small, hand-held device the size of a hamster out of his pocket. "A video," he said

"Crap"

* * *

On the small, hand-held device the size of a hamster.

Amanda was roaming through the swamps on Boney Island. She was looking for something. The bush didn't hold it. The tree top didn't either. The snake hidden under a rock didn't have it either.

**"_Ezekiel!" she called. "Where are you? I have another joke for you"_**

* * *

"Girl moved while she was frozen. That means The Golden Oldies win!" the cook beamed.

Most of the Golden Oldies all let out celebratory whoops, while the N00bz glared at the blonde, unbeknownst to her. Chris even glared at her as he forked over a wad of cash over to Chef's grubby hands.

Amanda just sat on her little tree stump, talking away with her new friend, Ezekiel.

"Looks like everything I just said the N00bz get goes to the Golden Oldies." Chris grumbled. "Stupid girl"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Anna – **(She's holding up a piece of paper) What are we supposed to write with? If these sick nasties are thinking what I think they're thinking, they have a (Chris opens the door and hands her a pen) Oh, thank you.

***static***

**Grace – **It really sucks how we didn't get to strategize any before we voted. Maybe Chris just wanted to see Amanda go home with no hassle. I guess I can live with that.

***static***

**Diana –** (her paper says***censored***)** *censored* **is going the ***censored* **down.

***static***

**Kayla – **(she's sobbing so hard, her paper is getting smudged)

* * *

A couple hours later, the N00bz were sitting around the campfire. Amanda was still carrying on her conversation with Ezekiel. All the other immune contestants were waiting down by the dock, because they knew exactly who was going to go.

Chris stood behind he oil drum, oddly enough holding no sign for immunity.

"First, we have no symbol for immunity this time."

"You mean just like the second half of last season." Tony asked.

"Exactly! Secondly, I'm sure you all know why you're here, right?" Chris asked the group.

"Yes," was the monotonous reply.

"Then you all know that—"

"Look," Vanessa interrupted. "We've all seen the last three seasons and know your speech. We're tired, dirty, and a little cramped. So would you just hurry up and get this over with."

"Fine, Amanda, head down to the dock. You're the first boot-off this season." The chatty blonde was ignoring the host and was carrying along with her conversation with Ezekiel.

"Amanda," Chris snapped as he went and stood next to her.

She finally acknowledged him. "Oh, there you are, I thought I smelled the cookies from the kitchens of the little elves that live in your hair."

Chris rolled his eyes, "Whatever, Wierdo, just get out of here, I'm tired."

Amanda sighed but got up reluctantly. She was about to walk down to the dock of shame when Ezekiel grabbed her hand. "Yoo can't go, eh. Yoo're the first friend I've made out here."

"To bad, Home school." Chris said, slapping his hand to make him let go.

Minutes later, Chris shoved Amanda on the rickety boat of losers which was piloted by Chef Hatchet. Amanda gave a good-bye wave to Ezekiel as she disappeared into the horizon.

* * *

Boat of Losers Confession Cam

**Amanda – **So I'm not going to win millions of dollars, big whoop. I just hope this resort has some people with a decent sense of humor.

**Chef – **Actually, you're going to be the only one there blondie.

**Amanda – **(Her eyes go wide in horror) WHAT! (she begins to shake)

* * *

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Voting decisions

Amanda – Fran

Diana - ***censored* **

Kayla - illegible

Everybody that isn't Amanda, Diana, or Kayla – Amanda

Vote totals

Amanda – 19

***censored* **- 1

Illegible - 1

Fran – 1

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Yeah, I know it's really short, but I wanted to update soon. So this is what you get. Yeah, I know, I'm sad to see Amanda go so soon, but hey, somebody's got to go.

And I'm sorry for all the UTR1's (for all you edgic savvy people) that the returning contestants received. (they would be INV, but the first chapter was an introductory chapter, so I consider it to automatically make everybody a UTR at least) I like to think that this was just a chapter to kind of introduce the new characters. P.S. I'll be posting an edgic on my Deviant art in about three days.

And in case you couldn't tell, most of Amanda's little quips are off of Glee! Aren't I original?...

**Vote off list: **Amanda

**Up next: four more contestants enter the fray. We learn where the contestants will be sleeping.**


	4. Day 1 Part 4: Sleeping Arrangements

**Disclaimer- **I own absolutely nothing, yeah, I know … sad day. Please do nothing that these characters do. Well, nothing extreme. I guess you could do the breathing part. But only do it sparingly.

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The contestants were crammed onto the deck of a humungous yacht, one that was larger than all of the other yachts combined. It was Chris's private yacht.

"But why did I have to share my yacht?" Chris complained to Chef, who was steering the yacht (he had already dropped off Amanda when he came back to pick everybody up)

"Because the producers don't want to waste money like you did last season. So they cut a majority of your perks, starting with your yacht." Chef told him.

"What?" Chris shouted. "How could they cut my perks? I'm the star of this show. I make the drama. I make the ratings. Why couldn't they have cut something useless? Like you!" Chris jabbed his index fingers into Chef's chest.

"Watch it. I know where you hide the sheep sheers," Chef threatened.

"Alright," Chris nodded as he backed out of the captain's cabin. "I guess I better go ahead and let them all know the big news." He walked out amongst the campers and held up his hands.

"Ooo," Haily cooed, "He's going to give us a little dance, how sweet."

"Girl, if you think Chris would actually do something sweet, you got a long season ahead of you," LeShawna told the blonde.

"Would you two shut it," Chris snapped. "I have an announcement."

"If you say we're doing another challenge," Duncan hissed, "I'm going to rearrange your face."

"No need for face rearranging to take place," Chris stammered. "My big announcement is to introduce a few more contestants."

"Like there aren't enough of us already," Noah groaned.

"Well, I did say all previous contestants were coming back," Chris said as he moved to stand in front of four separate doors. "and having what's behind these four doors would have messed up the teams, so they're joining the competition now."

"Four? I thought it was only Sierra and Alejandro," Duncan asked. "Who else is it?"

A loud shriek echoed out of one of the doors. Said door burst open, a red high-heeled shoe being what kicked it open. Said shoe was worn by a feisty blonde in her mid-thirties, Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran, otherwise known as Mildred.

"How dare you forget me!" Blaineley screamed, her sultry red dress rustling as she sauntered over to the delinquent.

"Whoa, calm down," Duncan soothed, backing away from the steaming blonde. "You were on for, like, three days, and you weren't that memorable."

"Memorable! I'll show you memorable." Blaineley leaped at the delinquent, fingers extended.

Anna elbowed Gwen. "Shouldn't you be stopping that."

"Nope. He deserves to get his butt kicked by the host of a gossip rag. It'll teach him a lesson," Gwen said.

"True, very true," Anna said, fist bumping Gwen.

"Blaineley, calm down," Chris said. "save most of this anger for the challenges."

"Whatever," the woman muttered as she pulled herself off of Duncan. She turned to face all the other contestants "I hope you all won't judge me on that little outburst. I just lost my cool a little."

"Oh, we're judging you, alright" Heather said.

"and we watched you on the aftermath's last season," Vanessa mumbled.

"Yeah, you're a ***censored* *censored***," Diana blurted.

"Must you cuss with every sentence," Courtney chastised.

"Abso - ***censored* **- lutely"

"Anyway," Chris and Blaineley both chanted, wanting to get their faces on camera again. To bad they both wanted it.

"It's mine, you shriveled old hag!" Chris shouted.

"Think again, you washed up has been," Blaineley retorted.

"Mi amigos," a latin hunk said soothingly, "calm down. You'll both get your screen time eventually."

Alejandro had stepped out of one of the doors. His hair had grown back from his tragic mishap with the volcano, but the scarred eyebrows and dry looking skin reminded everybody of his unfortunate luck last season.

"Alejandro," Chris grumbled, "already pulling out the charms, I see."

"I wouldn't call it charm, it's just being a gentleman," the Hispanic replied. He gave his fellow competitors a quick, seductive grin.

"You can cut that crap right now," LeShawna snapped. "We all know what you did last season, so there's no point trying to work this nice guy act."

"But senorita, I have truly learned the error in my ways."

LeShawna held up her hand, palm first. "Talk to the hand."

"Well that would be a rather one sided conversation," James pointed out, thinking he was being rather clever.

Anna patted him on the back. "You poor, deprived boy," she muttered, "you have my pity."

Alejandro continued to converse with the irritated females he had tricked last season. Bridgette turned her head away from him and accidently hit him in the eye with her ponytail. LeShawna told him to talk to her booty, because her hand was taking a break. Courtney flirted unabashedly with him, her finger inching up his muscular chest.

"Good to know I have one ally in this game," Alejandro said, taking the CIT's hand in his and holding it to his face. Courtney giggled uncontrollably.

"If I ever become like that, slap me," Heather whispered to Gwen, who happened to be the closest ear.

"How about I just slap you now and get it over with?" The Goth asked, a light smile creeping onto her pale face.

"Fat chance," Heather spat, a little more loudly than she intended. Alejandro overheard the raven-haired beauty. The Latino's eye twitched. He turned to face the girl.

"Heather," he snarled.

"Alejandro," she returned with equal distain.

"Is there anything you have to say to me?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"What about sorry?"

"Sorry is for people who having something to be sorry about, and the weak. I happen to be neither."

"How cute," Chris said, interrupting the argument, "they're bickering. I love it"

"Shut up!" the two shouted, causing the host to back off.

"What exactly is it that I'm supposed to be sorry about?" Heather asked, turning back to the quarrel.

"How about twisting my heart into a mangled piece of sorrow then throwing it away like a piece of garbage into a volcano!"

"Wow," Vince muttered, patting the left side of his chest "that's deep."

"I don't seem to recall that," Heather spat in response to Alejandro's plea.

"How about being the reason for ruining my perfect, latin skin?"

"It looks fine from here."

"That's because I'm wearing make-up!"

Lyle burst out laughing. He had to clutch his side he was laughing so hard.

"What's so funny?" Owen chuckled, the midget's laughter being quite contagious.

"Dude wears make-up," Lyle pointed out between chuckles.

"Real mature," Tony murmured. The celebrity shook his head in disappointment at the boy's immaturity.

"There is nothing wrong with a guy wearing make-up," Justin snapped as he put away the compact he was using to check his complexion.

"Can we move on please," Eva whined, "this is getting really old, really fast."

"Well," Chris mused, "I guess I should let some of this frustration simmer, makes for some better drama."

While Chris tried to calm the bickering enemies, Cody walked over and gripped the hand rails of the yacht, looking rather sea sick. A teenage girl noticed the woozy tech-geek and, leaving her best friend as she fawned over a certain celebrity, went to go see what was wrong.

"Hey Cody," Sadie said. "Why you look so green?"

"It's Sierra," he sighed.

"I thought you two were friends now? Wasn't that, like, what you two decided on after last season?"

"Well, yeah, but then things got a little weird over the break."

"How so?" the chubby BFF asked, wanting to get some juicy gossip that wasn't from Katie.

"You remember that plane ride home from Hawaii?"

"You mean the one where Izzy—"

"Yep"

"and then Eva—"

"yep"

"and then the hamster—"

"That's the one."

"That poor hamster, it never saw it coming." Sadie and Cody both hung their heads in remembrance of Gibbly the hamster, may he rest in piece.

"So what was it you were saying about the flight?" Sadie asked once the moment of silence was over.

"Well, when we were saying good-byes, I gave Sierra my phone number."

"I thought she already had your number?"

"She did, but this was my new number that I made my mom get when I learned Sierra had my number," Cody rambled. "Anyways, in the beginning, we were texting regularly, just like any long distance friends. Then, one week, I got grounded and my parents cancelled my phone. Next thing I know, I wake up one morning to see Sierra peeping in through my window."

"Why was she peeping through your window?"

"Apparently she thought I was dead, or worse, avoiding her. She had to make sure I was okay. Since then, she's been kind of in between the friend zone and rapist zone."

"Oh, and now you're just worried about what's going to happen once Chris introduces her again," Sadie stated.

"Exactly!" Cody exclaimed.

Sadie felt something jab against her shoulder, something pointy that could possibly become quite deadly. The BFF turned to see who was interrupting their conversation. When she saw who it was, she gulped.

Standing before her, fresh from being introduced to the rest of the contestants, stood Sierra. "Hi Sadie," the purple-haired girl hissed.

"Hi Sierra," Sadie said, intimidated by the opposing girls stature, "Might I say that your hair is quite a vibrant shade of purple today."

"That's because I gave it a fresh dye job before I came on the show. Now if you don't mind, me and my best friend have some catching up to do." Sierra swept Sadie to the side, allowing the pigtailed girl to run into Katie's awaiting arms. Sierra crept up to Cody and flung him over her shoulder. The tech geek mouthed 'help me' to the other teens as she took him to the bow of the ship. They just smiled innocently in return.

"Chris, you fail at counting," Noah stated, not at all worried about the future of his fellow intellect. "You said four more were coming back to the competition, but that's only three and there's nobody else."

"au contraire, Noah," Chris said, smiling wickedly at the blindside he was setting up, "you're forgetting one very important contestant. He may have had a short stint on the show, but in the three seasons of this show, he's developed quite a following. The shipper's have gone a little … coco … over him."

"That's not true," Fran interjected, "I'm the queen of Total Drama crack pairings and there isn't a single member of a crack pairing that isn't here."

"But think again," the host said as he pulled open the only remaining door. Everybody minus Chris peered into the doorway, but failed to notice anybody there. Chris coughed an attention seeking cough and pointed down at the ground. The contestants looked at the ground curiously, because what stood there was absolutely baffling.

There lay a round sphere, complete with a smiley face and grass for hair.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Coconut!" Chris's introduction was met with silence, an astonished silence.

"You have got to be kidding me," Gwen muttered.

Fran snapped her fingers as she reached an epiphany. "I remember now, Mr. Coconut. I have a friend that ships cocoapple."

"cocoapple?" Yael questioned.

"Yeah, it means she supports Mr. Coconut paired with that pineapple Alejandro practically made a baby with last season."

"What an awkward baby," Rocki stated.

"I know," Haily said, "just imagine the pain the mother would be in when she had to push that thing out of her va—"

"Moving on," Anna interrupted, "How exactly is having a coconut as a contestant going to work?"

"Beats me," Chris shrugged, "the producers and I figured it would be a fun little obstacle for you kids to have to deal with."

"How the heck is it going to vote?" Eva snapped.

"Mr. Coconuts vote will be at the discretion of me and the producers."

"So it's another way for you to influence the game and vote off the people you don't like," Noah pointed out.

"Sometimes you're too smart for your own good," Chris warned.

"Land hoe!" Chef shouted, ringing a tiny little bell from the inside of the captains cabin.

"Where's the hoe?" Anna shouted clenching her hands in fury.

"It's a figure of speech," Bridgette said, calming the enraged teen. Anna relaxed quickly with the knowledge that they were not heading for a sexually promiscuous woman.

Chef skillfully pulled the yacht up to the dock and put it in park. Chris lowered the departure ladder for the contestants to climb down.

A couple of the contestants (mostly girls, though there were a few boys) awed at the sight the greeted them. Standing before them was an ornate bed and breakfast. It was the color of the statue of liberty with a white trim. There were lit, old timey candlesticks in each of the windows. Smoke billowed out of the rustic brick chimney.

"Oh my gosh," Courtney gasped, "it actually looks livable."

"What's the catch?" LeShawna asked, knowing that Chris wouldn't dare let them sleep at such a quiet, up kept living quarters.

Gwen took a step forward to stand beside her friend. "My money's on it's run by a bunch of serial killers," she muttered.

Chris chuckled at the skepticism of the teenagers. "Relax guys, the producers actually made me swing for some better sleeping quarters. Though staying at a hotel run by serial killers would be an interesting idea for a challenge."

"Way to go pasty," Duncan grinned, "you probably just gave him the idea for this season's serial killer challenge."

"Great," the Goth complained.

"Now, it's kind of late," Chris said, "so the owners of this fine establishment have already fallen asleep. Their names are Woodrow and Irene, and, let's just say they're a little on the old side. So don't wake them up, Woodrow tends to get a little cranky when he doesn't get his eleven hours of sleep."

"Awe, I love old people," Haily cooed, "they're just like babies!"

"Except they're old and wrinkly," Noah pointed out, astonished by the odd excitement of the bouncy blonde.

"True, but they get cranky when they don't get what they want, need somebody else to take care of them, and some of them even have diapers!" Haily screamed, each reason being screamed louder then the last.

"Oh," Gwen moaned as she rubbed her temples, "this is going to be a long season."

"Enough chit chat already," Chris complained, "you guys need to get to sleep, tomorrow's challenge is going to require you to actually be able to stay awake."

"Tomorrow?" several of the contestants questioned.

"Hey, I'm giving you free loaders the best mediocre housing conditions a multi-million dollar budget can buy, I have to make you uncomfortable somehow."

"You are one sick, twisted person," Jonathon stated, "I like it."

"You would," Lyle muttered.

"Can we hurry up? Vanessa yawned, "some of us need our beauty sleep."

"Some more than others," Ethan murmured. Vanessa, not taking lightly to the insult, kicked the boy in the shin, causing him to yelp.

"Well, I have a couple things to say. First, the rooms and your roommates are at your own discretion," the host shrugged.

"You mean our rooms can be co-ed?" Duncan asked, wriggling his unibrow at his Goth mistress.

"Don't even think about it," the pale girl muttered, pushing the delinquent away from her.

"Yes, the rooms are co-ed if you so choose. However, you have to be careful, there are cameras in each of the rooms to make sure we don't have any newborn babies and their eventual lawsuits anytime in the future."

"There's no way you can do that," LeShawna hollered, "what if we got to change clothes?"

"Change in the bathroom, because if the camera in your room is removed from the room, every occupant will be put up for elimination. And if you are already up for elimination, you may ask? Then you'll have a vote cast against you."

"And where exactly will you be sleeping?" Sabrina asked as she sauntered over to the host.

"In my own, private bed with a dead bolt and alarm system," Chris muttered. Sabrina's arms were flailing as she tried to reach the host, who was keeping his slightly insane stalker a whole arm's length apart. "Now if you will all follow me," he said, "I'll show where you can do the confessions."

The contestants all followed the handsome thirty-something (Owen was carrying Mr. Coconut, the two were catching up) into the mansion.

"Out of the way," Heather snapped at Diana and Yael as the three of them tried to enter through the doorway at the same time.

"***censored***, How the ***censored* **do you think you can ***censored* **with us?" Diana shrieked.

Yael quietly took a step back to let the two feuding females get into the building.

"I think I can get inside because I won last season and I'm a fan favorite, so I'd suggest you show me some respect," the queen bee said, waving off the stout girl.

"Oh I'll show you some respect," Diana spat, "then I'll ***censored**censored* **and I'll ***censored*** and** *censored* **it with a plunger!"

"Well there's a mental picture I'll never get rid of," Rocki complained as she closed the door behind her. To bad for Ezekiel, whose hand was still on the door frame.

The prairie boy howled in pain, as several of the nicer contestants rushed to his aid.

"Oh dear," Elaine gasped, "are you ok?"

"I'll be fine, eh," Ezekiel winced.

"Is there anything we can do?" Bridgette wondered, her prejudice against the boy being temporarily lifted.

"I doon't know. Maybe you could kiss it and make it better?" and the prejudice came crashing back. The surfer gasped a disgusted gasp, slapped Ezekiel, and stomped off to be with her boyfriend. "Was it something I said?" the toque wearer asked.

The remaining mob gave a disappointed shake of their heads and joined the others. They came to a door that was marked 'kitchen' (it even had a little sign with a stick figure wearing a chef's hat).

Inside was an extravagant kitchen. The stainless steel appliances reflected images of the contestants back at themselves. Several of the teens were more excited about the room than others. DJ fawned over the state of the art stove. Izzy played joyously with the blender. Kayla even stopped crying momentarily to inspect the impeccably clean counter tops.

"Woodrow and Irene got some renovations done before the season started," Chris stated.

"It shows," Yael muttered, impressed.

Chris clapped his hands together as he stepped in front of a large metal door. "This," he said, "is the confessional/walk-in freezer. Here is where you'll give your thoughts on the day, the elimination, your roommates, and even a few of the challenges."

"Question, do you go out of your way to make sure the confessional is in the most uncomfortable places possible?" Anna asked.

"Of course, and be careful not to leave the door open. If you leave it open, you still have to eat the rancid meat," the host chuckled.

"If anybody," Gwen warned, "leaves that door open, there's going to be a place in Hell waiting for you. Then, I'm going to kick your ass."

"So, who wants to try this sucker out first?"

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Courtney – **(She's inspecting the freezer door) What the? This thing locks from the outside. (she bangs on the door) Chris, I hope you know you have a safety hazard out here? (she jiggle's the handle) Very funny Chris, now let me the freak out of here!

***static***

**Anna - **(she sits down, then stands up immediately, inspecting the place that she just sat) What the heck did I just sit on, and why is it bleeding?

***static***

**DJ – (**He's talking on a cell phone) Mama, you should see it, it's so beautiful. (A small tear falls down his face) There's so much food, I could cook the Mama and son cookbook. (A small garbled sound rings out of the cell phone) Ok, I won't cook without you.

***static***

**Mr. Coconut – **(He's just lying there) … (Chris opens the door)

**Chris – **Are you done yet?

**Mr. Coconut - **….

**Chris – **Ok, ok, you have another minute, no need to get snappy.

**Mr. Coconut - **…..

***static***

**Yael – **Why isn't it cold in here?

* * *

"Another thing," Chris said. Vanessa stomped towards the host and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

"If you don't tell us where we are sleeping, I'm going to go emo and your neck's going to be my arm," the popular girl snarled.

"Thomebody'th a little bit cranky when they're tired," Beth lisped.

"Shut it, farm girl!"

"Before Vanessa rips my shirt," Chris said desperately as he tried to pry Vanessa's fingers away from the his collar, "just get set up in one of the rooms outside the kitchen and down the hall to the right. All of the rooms are set up for four except for room one, it only has three."

Several of the contestants cheered at the thought of finally getting to sleep. Vanessa threw the host to the ground as she darted for a room, only to be stopped by Grace.

"Make sure we get the room for three," she said, indicating herself, Vanessa, and Ethan. Vanessa mumbled something incoherent and stomped off, still ahead of a majority of the contestants.

* * *

Room 1 (Vanessa, Ethan, Grace)

The door slid open as Grace strolled and Ethan, who was carrying his, Grace's, and Vanessa's luggage, stumbled into the room. There was a solitary queen sized bed, a bunk bed, and a Victorian desk with a not-very-well-hidden hidden camera hidden in it's top drawer. Vanessa lay sound asleep on the single bed. Apparently she fell asleep before she could change or even crawl under the covers.

"Can you believe her?" Grace scoffed, indicating the unconscious teen.

"Well it was a pretty long day," Ethan said as he dropped the luggage, "I'm a little bit tired myself."

"No, I mean that she'd actually think she gets this bed. Pick her up and put her on the bunk bed."

Ethan rolled his eyes and strolled over to the sleeping girl. He picked her up in his arms bridal style, though he held her as far away from himself as to remove any traces of romance from the gesture. "You know," the boy mumbled, "I seem to recall Heather's alliance falling apart because she made her alliancee's her slaves."

"But Heather made one tiny mistake," Grace grinned, "Beth and Lindsay had nothing tying them down to her. On the other hand, you and Vanessa have no choice but to listen to me."

"And what if we decide to-" Ethan tripped over the handle of Grace's handbag. As he fell to the ground, he tossed Vanessa away. She landed on the bottom bunk, only slightly bumping her head of the wall. Ethan wished he had been that lucky. The brunet landed square on his face.

"That looked painful," Grace remarked, not doing anything to help her roommate, "now what was it you were saying?"

"I was saying," Ethan spat as he wiped a trickle of blood off of his upper lip, "what if we decide to stop listening to you?"

Grace strode over to her handbag, opened it up, and pulled out a small, white pad. "Then you'd be just like this make-up removal cloth, useful at first," she said as she wiped her cheek, removing a long streak of foundation and blush, "but once your used," she clenched her fist, crumpling the cloth, "you get thrown away. Now go use the bathroom."

"But I don't have to."

"To bad, I need to change and I don't want you to peek, we do have to sleep in the same room you know."

"You know there's a camera right over there," Ethan said, pointing at the conspicuously inconspicuous camera.

"I know," Grace breathed as she started to unbutton her top with her chest positioned directly in front of the camera, "I'm about to become a fan favorite."

Ethan, seeing what was happening, darted out of the room as more blood dripped out of his nose.

* * *

Freezer cam

**Ethan – **(He's holding a raw steak up to his sore nose) This Grace chick is seriously dangerous, and Vanessa refuses to just tell everybody the 'big secret' (he puts air quotes around those words), so we have to listen to her. I swear, she can be such an idiot sometimes. Though, on the plus side, Grace is willing to take her top off in our room. (He gives the camera a thumbs up)

***static***

**Grace – **(She's clad in a light pink, silk pajama set) It feels good to be in control.

***static***

**Vanessa – **(she's rubbing the small bump on her head) What the heck, OW!. (she starts to look through the freezer) Now where the heck is a raw steak?

* * *

Room 2 (Courtney, Anna, Rocki, Elaine)

The four girls were all meandering around the room, just getting to know each other. Their room was like the rest of the rooms in the bed and breakfast, slightly larger than room one with two bunk beds.

Courtney was instructing the three other girls where to put their things. "Anna," the CIT chastised, "you don't just cram your suitcase under the bed, you have to place them in a precise order so as to maximize the amount of possible space."

"Yeah, the thing is, I honestly don't care how much room there is under there," Anna said as she shoved the third and final suitcase of hers underneath the bed.

"But your wasting so much space."

"So, it's not like we're going to have a room wide game of hide and seek and under the bed is the only place I have to hide," Anna pointed out.

"How's this, Courtney?" Elaine asked, pointing the girl's gaze in the direction of underneath her bed. Courtney got down on her hands and knees to see under the bed. She gasped at what she saw. It was perfect. Each bag was meticulously set in a specific place. Not a handle was out of place. Any OCD person would have been proud had it not been for the unzipped zipper.

"That's amazing Elaine," Courtney praised.

Elaine gave a light chuckle. "I aim to please," she said hugging the CIT.

Anna rolled her eyes at the obvious butt kissing. "Courtney, not that I don't appreciate it and all," Anna asked, "but why did you want to room with us?"

"Because, after last season I don't have all that many friends, just Bridgette, actually," the brunette sighed, "and I just thought that maybe, with you three, I could actually make some bridges and not burn them down."

"Awe, that's kind of deep," Rocki chimed in as she climbed up the ladder of hers and Anna's bed.

"Well you've definitely made one sturdy bridge," Elaine cheered, pulling Courtney into another hug. Courtney tried to push the cheerful girl away when the hug lasted a little too long.

"Awe, how cute, there's life after Duncan after all," Rocki joked as she reached the top of the ladder.

"Oh go fall off the top bunk," Courtney snapped. As if on cue, Rocki jumped on the bed and fell through. Splinters of wood flew in various directions. Rocki plummeted toward a screaming Anna. Rocki landed on Anna's lap.

"Hey," Rocki said, looking up at the hole in the bed, "you wanna be bed mates?"

"Fine," Anna sighed, "but if your hand wanders to the wrong place you're sleeping on the floor."

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Courtney – **To be honest, I chose those three to be my roommates because they seemed to be the only sane girls in this new batch of competitors. The others are either crying their eyes out, swear so much a sailor would be insulted, or obsessed with Chris.

***static***

**Anna – **So I have to share a bed with Rocki. It could be worse, it could be a whore with more diseases than a hospital.

***static***

**Elaine – **My roommates are simply wonderful. They're so nice and caring, I can see us all becoming the best of friends.

***static***

**Rocki – **So, on my first day, I wreck a yacht, almost get us killed by a beaver stampede, and now I break a bed. (she looks sad for a moment, then smiles a bright smile) Today is going so much better than my last first day of school, since there's no mass evacuation.

* * *

Room 3 (CJ, Harold, Lyle, Phillip)

Harold was desperately rifling through his suitcase, the contents going flying across the room. His wizard robe was sprawled over the floor. His handmade LeShawna trading card hit Lyle in the eye. His underwear was spinning on the ceiling fan.

"Dude, what the heck are you looking for?" CJ asked as he too looked through his bag, though not with as much urgency as the bespectacled nerd.

"I'm looking for my…I found it," Harold shouted. He pulled his hands out of the suitcase holding an odd, angular object: an inhaler.

"Really, you tried to make me patchy the pirate because you were having a stupid asthma attack," Lyle remarked as he rubbed his sore eye.

"It's not for me, Gosh," Harold said. The lanky boy walked over to Phillip, the boy was huddled in the corner, wheezing his terrified breath. Only a specially trained ear like Harold's could tell the difference between Phillip's wheezing and his normal breathing. Harold offered the medical implement to the fearful teen.

Phillip looked up to see what was in Harold's hand. He screamed something unintelligible (it was later discovered he just screamed GERMOPHOBIA! Three times fast) Phillip then reached into his back pocket and pulled out two inhalers. He took a sprit from one and then the other.

"Why do you use two different inhalers?" CJ asked as he slipped on a red wig.

"It' a fail safe, if the first one isn't working, the second one makes sure its job is done."

The brows of the various teen boys furrowed at the odd logic of the fearful boy, but made nothing of it because they were tired.

Lyle was climbing up the ladder to his bed as CJ pulled back his covers. The short midget looked down at his roommate to see what exactly it was that he was wearing. "What are you wearing?" he asked.

CJ looked down at his garments. He was wearing what appeared to be a posh butler's uniform, a pair of red glasses, and a long red wig. "I'm Grell Sutcliff."

"You sleep in cosplay?" Harold gasped, "….Aweso—" Harold was interrupted in his compliment as Phillip hurried outside the room, his arms loaded with everybody's various luggage bags. Harold followed him out the door, where he piled the bags on an already large pile of his and his roommates' possessions. He popped his head back in the door and noticed that only the beds, CJ, and Lyle were what remained in the room.

""What are you doing?" The uber-geek wheezed.

"I'm piling all of our possessions outside of our room," Phillip explained as he scribbled on a hand-held note pad. He ripped off the page and placed on top of one of Lyle's bags and walked back into the room.

Harold, curious, grabbed the note and read it –_Here are all our possessions you greedy thieves, take whatever you please, there is no need to enter my room and use your chloroform. Sincerely, Phillip Marsengail- _Harold face-palmed.

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Harold – **I tried to bring all of our things back in the room and explain to Phillip that nobody was going to use chloroform to steal our things, but he wouldn't stop screaming until I took everything outside. I have to sleep outside to make somebody like Duncan doesn't steal any of my trading cards. (He holds up a black and yellow duffle bag) Good thing Lyle has this incredibly soft bag for me to rest my head on

***static***

**Lyle – **(He zips open his black and yellow duffle bag) What the hell? Why is there a dent in my marshmallow collection?

***static***

**CJ – **(He's singing an odd, asian sounding song while combing his red wig. The door cracks open to reveal Phillip.)

**Phillip – **AH! GINGER!

* * *

Room 4 (Vince, James, Blaineley, Tony)

Tony and Vince were both pushing against the door to their room, a horrible, unimaginable horror lying on the other side. Satan fears them. God questions why he made them. They're so terrifying, this writer is having to suppress nightmare inducing memories just to tell you about them. They were…raving fangirls.

"Tony!" Sadie shrieked form the other side of the closed door, "Please, come sleep with us."

"Please Tony!" Katie pleaded, "if you slept with us, we would be the luckiest girls in the world."

"Now, I'm not exactly the best with human social interactions," James stated from his position on one of the beds, "but I believe now would be the appropriate time to make a sexually innuendus joke."

Suddenly, a frizzy haired blob came crashing through the ceiling. Pieces of tile flew everywhere, the occupants inhaled the dust as it filled the room.

Sprawled across the floor of the room was Miranda. The brunette was coughing up a storm, waving the dust away from her face by waving her hand. "Tony, you need to listen to them, we'll make it worth your while."

"Whoa," Vince said, "did you just crawl in here through the ventilation system."

"Please don't tell me you just considered that improbable predicament as you hypothesis as to how she was capable of infiltrating our inner sanctum." James said incredulously.

"Dude, I only understood, like, six words in that sentence," Tony said, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Actually, I just crawled trough the ceiling. Did you know tat there's a huge gap between te ceiling and the floor above it?" Miranda asked

There was a commotion outside in the hall. The high pitched shrieks of the BFF's could be heard. Some scuffling noises and a couple of dull thuds, followed by somebody pounding on the door.

"Let me in, let me in!" said a voice that sounded like an overly irritated Blaineley.

"Do as she says," Vince whispered, "otherwise she'll huff, and she'll puff, and she'll blow the room down. My clothes can't take that kind of damage."

Tony sighed. He creaked the door open slightly, only to have the thirty-something push her way into the room. Her face was covered in a green face mask, her hair in curlers. "Oh no," the horrifying looking woman said to the teenage girl on the floor, "You can't possibly think you're getting him."

With that, she grabbed the girl's ear and pulled her out of the room. She pushed her onto the ground where she landed on top of a moaning Katie and Sadie.

"Move on, he's not going to sleep with you, he's going to sleep with me," as if to accent her statement she slammed the door in their faces.

Blaineley turned to face the three boys that were now her roommates.

"I have a question," James said, "you're hair is always straight, so why do you wear it in rollers?"

"I have one too," Tony said, "you're not really going to sleep with me, are you?"

"I have a third question," Vince added, "do you have anymore of that face mask? My skin gets horribly dry this time of year."

Blaineley rolled her eyes and turned off the lights.

* * *

Freezer cam

**Blaineley – **(She still has her night mask on) To be completely honest, I just wanted to get in that room so I could get some dirt on Tony. I'm still the head reporter on Canada's top gossip rag, so any juicy details I can get from one of the biggest celebs in the world will be a plus. Don't even think I'm staying in there because I'm some psycho fangirl (She folds her arms, causing a 'team Tony' button to fall out of her sleeve)

***static***

**Tony – **I honestly tried to get an all guys room. I didn't want to have to share a room with a girl, didn't want to risk her getting to handsy. Justin had just set his bed up when Blaineley stormed in and all but literally kicked him out. I always thought there was something up with her after that first interview on Celebrity Manhunt.

***static***

**Vince – **(He's applying a layer of the green face mask. He's getting out of a tub marked 'Blaineley.' Blaineley opens the door)

**Blaineley – **There it is! (She launches herself on top of the boy)

* * *

Room 5 (Alejandro, Duncan, Mr. Coconut, Trent)

Trent sat on the top bunk of his and Alejandro's bed. The musician sat there pitifully, staring longingly out the door. There, standing in the hallway was Gwen and Duncan. The delinquent had his arms wrapped around the Goth girl's waste, looking lovingly into her eyes.

"Mi amigo," Alejandro, who was laid back on his bed on the bottom, said, "don't let your broken heart bring you down. There are plenty of beautiful women in this competition to stay hung up on just one."

"But Gwen is such an amazing woman. I can't help it that I still have feelings for her." Trent groaned.

"If you still have feelings for her, why are you sharing a room with her new boyfriend? I'm pretty sure I could never share a room with anybody Heather left me for."

"But you're a conniving bastard, I'm a laid back guy who wants to make sure Duncan and Gwen don't get a little handsy."

Alejandro would have retorted, but he realized that what the black headed boy was correct in everything that he said.

Trent stuck his lip out slightly as the punk couple outside the door gave each other a good-bye kiss. Duncan wore a relaxed smile as he closed the door behind him.

"Boys, I don't know about, but there's nothing like dating a hot chick that's willing to make out at any moment you ask," the punk bragged, wriggling his eyebrow.

Trent had to bite his lip to prevent a scathing remark from escaping his lips.

"Dudes, why did you put the stupid coconut on the top bunk?" Duncan asked as he jerked a thumb at Mr. Coconut, who was lying on the pillow.

"I didn't put it there," Alejandro shrugged. Trent just shook his head no, still biting his lip.

"Well there's no way I'm going to give away some prime real-estate for a stupid vegetable." Duncan said as he picked up his fellow contestant and through him down on the bottom bunk.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure he's a fruit," Alejandro said as Duncan plopped on what he claimed to be his bed.

"To be honest, I really don't give a—"

"You're a filthy pig," Trent slipped, the sentence coming out of his mouth without him even meaning for it to. He clapped his hands over his mouth, realizing his mistake.

"Oh no," Duncan snapped, leaping off the bed, "you don't get to judge me, Mr. Monk!"

"Who's judging? I was merely stating a fact." Trent snapped back. Duncan rolled up his sleeve as he stomped over to the musician. Trent firmly stood his ground (figuratively of course, since he was actually sitting.)

"Whoa my friends," Alejandro said, stepping between the two boys before violence could ensue, "How about we all go to bed, get some rest, and talk about it over chips and salsa in the morning."

"Fine," Duncan huffed, "But I'm only doing this because I'm tired. If it were any other day, I'd whoop your musical ass." The delinquent turned to see that Mr. Coconut was resting on the top bunk. "What the…?"

Alejandro saw what his roommate was questioning and was relatively stunned. "Just don't question it and sleep on the bottom," the Latin hunk said.

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Trent – **Maybe sharing a room with Duncan wasn't the best idea. I mean, I still love Gwen, and I want to make sure Duncan doesn't do anything to hurt her, but maybe I could have done that from a distance instead of in his room.

***static***

**Duncan – **Trent better watch his back. Chris might have made me give up all my knives for the competition, but my cousin Jazmine taught me how to make a shank out of a toothbrush.

***static***

**Alejandro – **So maybe having two enemies as my roommates was a mistake, consider it an error on my part. No problem though, they'll both be gone soon, and it will be just me and the Coconut. (he thinks about what he said) OK, that sounded weird. Speaking of the fruit, how was it able to switch beds?

***static* **

**Mr. Coconut - **…

* * *

Room 6 (Haily, Eva, Yael, Justin)

"For the last time," Eva bellowed, "I am not going to share a bed with you!" Saliva flew out of the fitness buff's mouth, landing on the face of the blonde in front of her.

"But it could be fun," Haily whined as she wiped the saliva off her face. "We could share stories, swap pajamas, maybe even cuddle, it would be fun."

"But I'm not a lesbian!"

"Neither am I." This statement caused Haily to receive an odd look from Justin, who was guiding Yael to her bed. (It should be noted that she would have given Haily an odd look, but she looked the other way by mistake)

"Why am I even rooming with you?" Eva growled as she unloaded her dumbbells. She was piling them in a pyramidal pile at the foot of her bed.

"Because, I managed to kidnap Justin and lock him in here so he wouldn't be able to leave and now I can ogle him to my heart's content. You just wanted a piece of my action." The bubbly blonde giggled.

"Then why don't you go cuddle with him?"

"No way, that would be way too personal. I'm not going to go and invade his personal space."

"Then why is it ok for you to invade my personal space?" The Polish-Canadian snapped, setting down her final dumbbell.

"Because, you're a Woman," Haily said, emphasizing the wo part of woman.

"You know, that sounded vaguely sexist," Yael said, piping up for the first time. The dirty-blonde tripped over one of Eva's dumbbells. Justin managed to gracefully catch her in his arms. "Wow," she wheezed, "I can't see you right now, but you feel supermegafoxyawesomehot, and if my memory serves correctly, you are."

The tan model gave her his trademark, jawdropping smile. To bad it was wasted on the currently blind teen.

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Justin – **Do I feel used because my roommates only like me for my looks? Not really. In fact, it's kind of nice, after Lindsay and Beth got over me and the twins are fawning over that Tony guy, I was seriously thinking my award winning looks had left me.

***static***

**Haily – **I'm so happy with my roommates. Yael's a sweety, Justin's gorgeous, and Eva…I have a feeling that the two of us are going to become close friends

***static***

**Eva – **(She's using a hanging piece of meat as a punching bag) There … is … no … way … that … blonde … bimbo … is … getting … anywhere … near … me. (her final punch is so hard, the hook the meat is hanging on falls out of the ceiling to the floor. She turns to face the camera) What can I say? I have personal space issues

***static***

**Yael – **Chris better get me my glasses tomorrow. I'm not a big fan of being blind, even if it does get me n the arms of muscular men. (she gets up to leave, but slips on the piece of meat on the floor) OW!

* * *

Room 7 (DJ, Sierra, Cody, Beth)

Surprisingly, the room is quiet. Beth is sound asleep on her bed. Sierra's cuddling up next to Cody (who has a suspicious red mark on the side of his neck.) Even DJ is curled up in a relaxing ball on the floor, his homemade night light plugged-in above his head.

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Beth – **To be honetht, our room wath thurprithingly calm. Of courthe, that wath after we agreed to let DJ uthe hith nightlight ad Thierra gave Cody that thedative.

***static***

**Sierra – **Rooming with Cody is going to be a dream come true. Being best friends now, I feel I am entitled to being with him twenty-four seven. We're going to do everything best friends do in the movies. Like gossip into the late night hours, share a bed when we have sleepovers, go shopping, and maybe even rate how cute some guy's butts are. (she giggles her slightly unhinged laugh)

***static***

**DJ – **I'm scared of the dark. Not that there's anything scary about it, but having that one shining light is like momma right there with me.

***static* **

**Cody – **(his face says it all, he's drugged) Why does the ceiling look like it's made of cheerios?

* * *

Room 8 (?)

Jonathon strolled the through the halls, whistling _Toccata and Fugue in D minor _as he went in search for a room, a quest which took him to the doorway of room 8.

Out of nowhere, the door to room eight busted open and a pair of hands grab his collar and pull him into the room.

The room was pitch black until a blindingly bright bedside lamp flashes on, causing the three bound boys to close their eyes. Geoff's wrists were red from the chaffing of the wool scarf that bound them to the post. Owen's binds were cutting painfully into his skin. Jonathon, newly bound, wasn't experiencing any problems just yet.

Sabrina stepped into the light, a devilish doll smile that would creep Izzy out plastered on her face. "Hello boys, welcome to your new abode."

"Yo, Dudette, why did you tie us up?" Geoff asked.

"Because, I simply couldn't let the opportunity of having three men in my room pass," she said in an overly cheerful voice, "so I tied you up to insure that you wouldn't move into another room. Don't worry, I'll untie you after tonight."

"You know, I can't help but feel that this is going to end up saved to some computer belonging to a Japanese businessman who possesses a dark specific fetish," Jonathon muttered, indicating their predicament.

"Um, not that I don't mind the attention," Owen bumbled, "but why exactly did you get me? I know I'm not exactly the greatest person to look at."

"When you get as desperate as me, you learn that it doesn't matter what they look like, as long as they have a Y-chromosome."

"But what if that Y-chromosome happens to have a girlfriend?" Geoff questioned.

"That's just a minor detail which can be dealt with easily," Sabrina giggled.

"You are a sick and twisted little girl," Jonathon spat, "and, for some reason, I feel a sense of kinship with you."

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Sabrina – **(She's messing with the camera)

***static***

(The camera has somehow made its way to Room 8. The three boys are still bound and in the view of the camera.)

**Owen – **Sabrina wouldn't let us leave to go make a confession in the freezer because we might run away. Now we have to make confessions about her with her in the room.

**Sabrina – **(Her voice comes from behind the camera) Who else is supposed to man the camera?

**Jonathon – **If we have to make a confession in front of you, we might as well have used the camera already in the room.

**Sabrina – **That would be too much of an inconvenience for the editing people.

**Geoff – **Dudette, you might as well just go put the camera back, we're not going to confess in front of you. I'll just have to go confess at church. (Jonathon lets out a sound that sounds like a hiss at the mention of the Holy place)

***static***

(The camera has made it back to the freezer)

**Chris – **That Sabrina chick is crazy! Admittedly, crazy is good, but we already had Sierra and Izzy, and Sabrina takes their crazy up to an eleven!...Now I have to go maim Harold for adding that phrase to my vocabulary.

* * *

Room 9 (Lindsay, Tyler, Kayla, Diana)

Diana opened the door to her new room, freshly changed into her turquoise pajama set. She was humming Cee-Lo's ***censored* **You, a personal favorite of hers.

The potty-mouth moved to settle down for the night. She fluffed her pillows, she unraveled her sheets, she even said a rather vulgar prayer that one is surprised she didn't get smited for. It was when she relaxed herself among the comforters on her bed that the noises of her room became noticeable. They were the sounds of deep sobs and low moans.

She opened her eyes to see that Lindsay and Tyler were on the bed across from her, having quite a heavy make-out session. So far Tyler's shirt was off and his hand was up Lindsay's shirt.

"Oh hell no! There is no ***censored* **way you are going to ***censored* **all ***censored* **night long. I need my ***censored* *censored* **sleep," the loudmouth girl shouted.

The couple broke apart at their roommate's tirade, as if this was the first time they realized that there were other people in the room besides just them. Lindsay gasped as she pushed Tyler's hand out of her shirt, but stopped him before he put his back on.

"Sorry, Ham," the blonde beauty murmured.

"***censored* **I ain't no Ham," Diana snapped. She glared at the two bashful teens. She would have continued to glare had it not been for the sobs coming from the top bunk of her bed. There sat Kayla, who had light wet spots all over her tank-top. Diana put on her best sympathetic face as she climbed up the ladder.

"There there, it's going to be ok," Diana said in a surprisingly calm voice as she pulled the sobbing girl into caring embrace.

"It's just that … they're so happy and … and … in love," Kayla brke down for the umpteenth time, soaking Diana's pajama top.

"Shhh, let it all out, and don't you two ***censored* **even think about ***censored* **all night long." Diana shouted the last part, glaring at Tyler and Lindsay.

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Diana – **So I have a soft side, big ***censored* **deal. I just can't stand to see people crying their ***censored* **eyes out, it hurts a little on the inside. A lot of ***censored* *censored*** say that when I'm calming somebody down, I cut back on the swearing. They say I should be like that more often. In return I tell them to ***censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* **Teach them to tell me what to do.

***static***

**Kayla – **(Tears are rolling down her eyes, but the sobbing has abided) I really need to get a grip on all my emotions, otherwise I don't stand a chance in this game. Maybe it's time I just move on.

***static* **

**Tyler – **(He's not alone in the freezer, his girlfriend is right beside him) Me and Lindsay can't make-out in our room like we thought we would be able to.

**Lindsay – **So now, me and Lyler are just going to make-out in here. (She grabs her boyfriend by the shirt and pulls his lips to her face. In the midst of making out, Tyler corrects her name mistake, but it goes unnoticed by the blonde.)

***static***

(Tyler and Lindsay are still making-out, but their tasseled hair and clothes tell that they've been at it for a while. Bridgette opens the door)

**Bridgette – **Oh no (She grabs Lindsay's arm and drags her out of the freezer) I am not going to let you make the same mistake that I did.

* * *

Room 10 (Izzy, Ezekiel, Fran, Heather)

"Izzy, foor the last time this is my bed," Ezekiel groaned for the sixth time. The red-head continued to slither her way into his bed, wrapping her arms around the prairie boy. He was desperately trying to push her away, a little freaked out with the closeness.

"Aww," Fran cooed from the bed across the room, "just let her have her way, Ezekiel, you two look so cute together."

"Listen to the girl, Ezekiel," Izzy said, snaking her arms around the prairie boys neck.

"Izzy, why are you even all over him?" Heather spat from the top bunk of Fran's bed.

"After I pretended to be his special man-baby, I realized how good of a pillow he was, and whatever Izzy wants Izzy gets," the psycho cackled.

"That's so sweet," Fran sighed, clasping her hands together.

Heather rolled her eyes, emitting a sigh (not a content one like Fran, more of an annoyed one.) "Do you say anything that doesn't have to do with the love lives of people? Because I swear that's all I have ever heard you say."

"The waffles in the night sky are the limousines of the flying spaghetti monster on the dark side of the moon," Fran said, an ounce of acid in her voice.

"What the hell?" Heather said.

"I said something that had nothing to do with love, thus proving you wrong."

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Fran – **Ok, so maybe I have a little obsession with romance. Maybe I get a narrow minded approach to the world whenever anything faintly romantic crops up. That doesn't mean people can shoehorn me into a blatant, hopeless romantic stereotype. It just creases me. I am a person.

***static***

**Heather – **Just when I think Chris can't find any other messed up person to be on this lame-o show, he goes and finds Fran. I swear, she's bi-polar. At first she talks about love and rainbows then she says something that I would expect Izzy to say with the intensity my brother would use if I touched his toy pitchfork. And it sucks that that's the only room that I could stay in. All the others were either taken, LeShawna kicked me out of, or (she shudders) other complications.

***static***

**Ezekiel – **(He's peeks out the door. Once he's sure the coast is clear of whatever he is looking for, he sits down) Izzy's a little crazy, eh. I've never been hit on by a girl. Usually, the things I say make girls kick me in the shin and storm off.

***static***

**Izzy – **I hope Zeke doesn't think I'm hitting on him, I can't help that I'm a loving person. On another note, Fran knows about the flying spaghetti monster on the dark side of the moon! This. Is. Big. I honestly thought I was the only one that knew about him.

* * *

Room 11 (LeShawna, Bridgette, Gwen, ?)

Bridgette quietly closed the door as she entered the room. She had just finished explaining to Lindsay how making out twenty-four seven was ill-advised. The blonde of lesser intelligence nodded her head in that bubbly way only Lindsay could, agreeing to only make-out two hours a day. (Tyler was not pleased when he learned this)

"Girl where've you been?" LeShawna asked. The sister was sitting, cross-legged, on her bed with Gwen.

"I went to go use the confessional, but ran into Tyler and Lindsay, I felt kind of obligated to tell them to not make the same mistake Geoff and I did." The surfer said. "What have you guys been up to?"

"Help me," Gwen griped, "she won't stop talking about Harold. If you are as nice as this shows says you are, you will pu me out of my misery."

"Watch it White Girl, I didn't complain about you bragging about Duncan."

"Yes you did. I strongly recall you pretending to throw up every time I mentioned his piercing."

"Only when you talked about the one that's on his tongue!"

Bridgette looked slightly appalled at that. "You know Gwen, that's really gross."

The Goth shrugged. "As opposed to you and Geoff? I've never seen so much tonsil hockey." She thinks about the odd phrase she used. "Wow, I really have been spending a lot of time with Duncan."

"You think?" LeShawna remarked. There was a light knock at the door. Bridgette looked at the door quizzically. LeShawna stared hard at Gwen, "If that's your boyfriend."

"Since when does Duncan knock politely?" Gwen muttered standing up to get the door. "What do you want?" She spat to whoever was on the other side of the door.

"I-I was wond-dering if I c-could sleep in th-this room," a voice that the girls recognized as Harvard's said.

"No way," LeShawna bellowed, "this is an all girl room, so you and your dirty mind can find someplace else to sleep." LeShawna had thrown open the door to finish lashing out at the teen. He was backed up to the opposite wall once she was done screaming, his eyes wide with fear.

"O-okay, wh-whatever you say," Harvard whimpered. He picked up his one bag and saxophone case. He was several steps down the hall when a hand wrapped around his wrist. He turned to see that the hand belonged to Bridgette.

"Why don't you come room with us?" she suggested, "I'll convince them that you're okay." Harvard gave a gracious smile and followed the surfer to the room.

LeShawna and Gwen are both glaring at Bridgette as she helps Harvard put away his (few) things, the surfer avoiding their eyes. She finally looked them in the eye once Harvard had left to use the confessional.

"Look guys, I know we wanted an all girl room, but Harvard seems like a nice guy," Bridgette pleaded.

"Guy being the operative word," Gwen mumbled.

"White girl's right, he might be sweet, but he's still a guy, and guys only have one thing on their minds." LeShawna held up her index finger, as if to make sure her friend knew how many one was.

"Look, we need a fourth roommate, so it's either him, or I go talk to Courtney," Bridgette wagered, knowing her roommates reaction. Gwen went slightly paler. LeShawna let out a conceding huff.

"Fine," the sister sighed, sitting back down on a bed.

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Harvard – **I spent a g-good thirty minutes walking up and d-down the halls, asking people if I c-could stay in their room, but all that happened was I got cursed out by D-diana, walked on a shirtless G-grace, and Phillip screamed about read the n-note an don't use the ch-chloroform. I'm just lucky that somebody like Bridgette would be okay with sharing a room with me. It's the first time anyone has actually wanted me for anything.*

***static***

**LeShawna – **I think this whole 'shy, nice guy' thing is just an act. No boy asks to be able to stay in a room with three foxy mamas like me and my girls and not have ulterior motives.

***static***

**Gwen – **To be honest, I really don't care that Harvard is sharing a room with us, there could be worse. I walked by that room eight and heard some really awkward moans. Either Geoff, Owen, and Jonathon are bound and gagged at the mercy of a psycho or somebody's hormones got the best of them. My guess is on the latter.

***static***

**Bridgette – **Actually, I wasn't really comfortable with Harvard sharing a room with us, but I figured he was better than Duncan. I was seriously thinking Gwen was going to make us let him room with us, I couldn't live with that. Now I just have to change in the bathroom, can't let Harvard see me in a compromising position.

* * *

Kitchen

Noah's sitting on the stove, his book open to the final pages, each one passing by as he turns the page. He eventually closes the book and tosses it in the garbage. "Goodbye, _War and Peace,_ I will never see you again."

"Noah," Chris barked as he entered the room, "would you hurry up and go to bed, I' legally required to stay up until you fall asleep. So go to bed." Noah, the whole time he was being berated, held in a laugh. The host had lost all chances of being menacing because his hair was in rollers. (Not even manly ones, more like the ones your grandmother wears.) After a moment, he couldn't take it any longer and burst out laughing.

"What?" Chris asked. Noah pointed at his hair. Chris gasped. His eyes became aflame (or looked like it), giving him the fearfulness he was looking for earlier. "Nobody disses my do'" He quipped, picking up the book worm by the scruff of his shirt.

Chris dragged the teen down the hall. He came to the door labeled number twelve. Chris kicked the door open, tossed the nerd into the dark abyss, and closed it before his horrified scream was emitted. Chris chuckled to himself as he stalked to his room.

* * *

Freezer Cam

**Katie & Sadie –**Oh my Gosh!

**Katie – **This is so awesome!

**Sadie – **I know why your so excited. It's cuz you have a little crush on him.

**Katie – **So true, just don't go around telling people, ok?

**Sadie – **I would never do that

***static***

**Sadie – **(she's alone) I so totally would.

***static***

**Noah – **(His eyes are blood shot, his clothes terribly disheveled) I've never been so appalled. So many posters, so much obsession, and I thought Tony DeLaLuna's acting was the most terrifying thing on the planet.

* * *

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

For the record, room twelve is Katie, Sadie, Miranda, and Noah.

There you have it. I'm so sorry it took so long. I just got a little side-tracked. (By side-tracked, I mean obsessing over Glee and A Very Potter Musical, both very epic) The next chapter will hopefully be out quicker than this one was.

Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I wanted to get this out before Christmas, as I will be very distracted (I have it on good authority that I got Glee: season 1 XD)

Reviews would be nice. In fact, for every person that reads but does not review, Stephenie Meyer will write a new book. Do the literary world a favor, please review.

Cookies of epicness go to the people that spot the AVPM references in this chapter. Hint, there are three.

*Some of you may be wondering why there was no stutter in Harvard's confessional. This is because his stutter is more of a nervous stutter than a speech impediment. That time in the confessional was his first showing of some confidence.

The next episode: The contestants go on a race similar to the second challenge of another fanfic. Plagiarism? What plagiarism?


	5. Day 2 Part 1: The Canada Someodd number

Disclaimer – I own nothing

Acknowledgements – The idea for this challenge is heavily based on that of one **Kobold Necromancer. **This guy is my hero, and the challenge this one is based on is one of my all time favorites of his. So this is to acknowledge him and his crazy awesome writing skills.

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE – In order to avoid confusion with the canon characters (which I may add to the story), My character Mike shall hence forth be called Vince and my character Sam will now be called Diana. I have gone back and changed their names in previous chapters. Thank you for reading this note.

Also, this is a T story, which means it deals with TEEN issues. I mention this inparticular as there will be a mentioning of a certain problem experienced by females on a monthly basis (28 days to be exact)

* * *

...

...

...

...

Gwen had never been much of a morning person. Her alarm clock would roar to life at the god-awful hour of seven o'clock, forcing her to leave her delightful dreams of a Chrisless world. Once awakened, the Goth would be numb to the world. So numb, she could stab a toe and wouldn't feel it for an hour (for anybody who has ever stubbed their toe completely understands how astounding that can be.)

On the morning of the second challenge, this fact became very noticeable. Gwen, whose internal clock had synchronized with her alarm clock, much to her chagrin, woke up at seven o'clock. The Goth slipped out of her bed and slipped her feet into the snow that lay beneath.

"LeShawna," Gwen cried once she reached the location of where the door should have been, "where's the door?"

""What do you mean 'Where's the door?' It should be right there." LeShawna groaned as she rubbed her eyes.

"It's not there," Gwen groaned, swinging her arms around, searching for the door.

"Wh-why is it s-s-so c-cold?" Harvard chattered.

"Maybe it's because we're on top of a snow covered mountain," Noah droned as he walked by the just-rising group, sipping a cup of hot chocolate.

It took a moment for the information to sink in, but once it did, it became quite evident. "We're what?" Gwen and LeShawna both shouted.

"Guys, don't be so loud," Bridgette, still in her top bunk, pleaded, "remember, we're on top of a mountain. One that's probably very susceptible to avalanches."

Gwen and LeShawna, realizing that what she said was true, shut up. Sadly, Duncan didn't get the message. "Yo Pasty," the delinquent yelled, "Care to join the rest of us for a cup o-" Anna, who was smart enough to realize how stupid the delinquent was being, slapped her hand over his mouth, silencing him.

The four late risers all made their ways over to the large assortment of teenagers. "Why are you all awake so early?" Gwen asked.

"Because somebody," Eva growled, not hiding her death glare at Haily, "had to pee at five in the morning. When she realized that the ground was covered in snow, she decided it would be a great idea to wake us all up and tell us." The fitness enthusiast increasingly became angry as she recalled the enraging memory. When she finished, she was so angry, she pulverized Harold and CJ's anime themed snowman.

"No," CJ sobbed, "why must you kill Goku?"

Harold tried to comfort his otaku friend. "It's ok, CJ. Her rage level was just too high."

"Was it over nine thousand?"

"Yes, yes it was."

"Nerds," Duncan coughed, earning a disapproving nod from Gwen and an 'amen' from Sabrina. "Look on the bright side," he said, "at least you were lucky enough to be put all the way over there where Little Miss Loudmouth didn't see you."

"Thank god for that, I guess," Gwen muttered, her teeth beginning to chatter. "McLean better hurry, these pajamas aren't meant to be worn in freezing temperatures."

Elaine brought the Goth and her roommates their own respective cups of hot coco. "Thank goodness Lyle had all these packets of hot chocolate and a water boiler with him."

"I'm just going to drink my hot chocolate and not question why," Bridgette stated as she sipped her beverage.

"That's probably best."

"Good morning campers!" Chris gleefully exclaimed. The host rode up on an expensive looking snowmobile with chef in a small passenger car. They were both wearing their white parkas, a common image to any contestant that had competed in the previous season. "You'll nev—"

"Please don't tell me we have to freeze our asses off again," Heather complained. "Surely those coats from last season have finally arrived."

"If they haven't," Vince interjected, "I'd like for mine to be in onyx."

"Will you all shush," the host snapped. "The sooner I get done introducing your challenge, the sooner you'll be able to get off this freezing mountain top. What I was going to say was 'you'll never guess what today's challenge is.'"

"Is it a car race from the top of the mountain to some yet to be determined location, full of road rage and bickering?" James asked.

"Well, actually, yeah," Chris muttered, saddened that his big reveal had been ruined. "How did you know?"

"Well, the cars parked over there were a pretty good hint," the giant said, indicating the nine sedans parked a hundred feet away. "The rest was just a hypothesis."

"Not bad, mi amigo alto," Alejandro said, clapping the giant on the back.

"Well, since somebody had to ruin my fun in revealing the challenge," Chris huffed, "I'll just give you the rules. Each car is exactly the same, same amount of gas, same mileage. You all will also get one hundred dollars for gas and food. You will be driving to a favorite place for several of you, a certain abandoned film studio!"

Many contestants groaned. In fact the only ones that were remotely interested were Sierra and Tony. "Oh my God," the fangirl exclaimed, grabbing Cody, "the only time I was ever there, a couple guard dogs chased me out in a matter of minutes. Now I'll be there and Cody can give me my own personal tour!"

"You do realize that I didn't get to compete in that season? I have no idea where anything is there."

"Oh, that's fine, we'll just get lost together! It will be an adventure for two best friends."

Chris let out a not so subtle cough for attention. "Moving on, I will be breaking you up into teams of five with two teams of six. Everybody has to drive at least five miles in the trek, and that means everybody."

"But what if we don't know how to drive?" Lindsay asked.

"Then I hope you're a fast learner," Chris chuckled. "All of you are lucky I decided not to make these cars sticks."

"You just didn't want them to strip the gears," Chef interjected.

Chris shrugged. "Also, the confessionals for this challenge will be located in the trunks of your cars." Several contestants raised their hands. "Yes there is enough room for you all to fit and make your trivial announcements for the world to hear. No, it's not enough room to be comfortable. Yes, the trunks are mostly empty. Anything else?"

The contestants all lowered their hands, shocked at how well Chris knew what they were all thinking. "Impressive," Grace confessed.

"Finally, the last two teams to place will be up for elimination. In order to place, only one member of your team needs to cross the finish line. Your car does not

"Now for the teams. Team one will consist of James, CJ, Sierra, Tyler, and," the host pondered the possible teammates for the group. He eventually stumbled upon, what he considered to be, the perfect team. "Since James was so rude in ruining my reveal, you all get Mr. Coconut!"

This decision received a mixed reaction. While the vocal members of team one protested, most of the others sighed, happy to not compete on the same team as the fruit.

"But how can we possibly make a coconut drive?" Sierra asked.

"To be honest," Chris said, irritated, "I don't care how you get him to drive. Maybe you should ask your resident genius over there to solve your problem."

"Maybe he's a character from Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and can do all kinds of humany things," CJ suggested.

"Boy, you need to get with reality," LeShawna murmured, "This ain't one of your little cartoons."

"Prove it."

This sister remained silent, either out of annoyance, or the fact that she had no idea how to prove such a statement.

"Team two will be Vanessa, Eva, Izzy, Trent, and Phillip." Chris said cheerfully, chuckling lightly at Phillip's shrill scream. Izzy darted over and hopped right in The first car's driver seat, honking the horn.

Vanessa pulled each of her teammates into huddle. This process scared Phillip, shocked Trent, and angered Eva. "I don't like the idea of her driving," Vanessa said.

"We're all going to die," Phillip muttered, his arms wrapped tightly around his body.

"His fear actually makes since," Trent said, slightly frightful of the idea of Izzy driving.

"Even I'm scared," Eva muttered, not that it showed.

"So it's agreed, we let her drive five miles and that is it," Vanessa proposed. "If she protests, Eva kicks her ass."

The team pondered this plan. They all turned to Eva for her seal of approval. She nodded. "I like it."

"Team three," Chris shouted, trying to get the camera man's attention, "will be Rocki, Tony, Vince, Grace, and Justin"

Several female contestants sighed, disappointed not being on the same team as Tony. Four of the five team members shrugged, seeing nothing wrong with their team. Grace on the other hand, was slightly worried. "You are able to drive, right?" The school-girl asked Rocki.

"Of course," Rocki giggled. "That's actually one of the few things I'm good at. I have one of the lowest car insurance payments in the country, I'm so good."

"Well, I guess that's reassuring."

"Team four will be Geoff, Jonathon, Yael, Harvard, and Cody."

"Awesome Dude," Geoff hollered, throwing his arms around Cody and Jonathon, "It's going to be like a traveling bachelor pad, just me and the dudes."

"But I'm a girl," Yael interjected. Geoff noticed that what lone female said was true and walked over to his girlfriend, deflated. Bridgette took this time to point out the fact that he was also not a bachelor.

Chris pulled a small box out from behind his back. "That reminds me. Yael, one of the producers told me to give this to you." He tossed the girl the box, which Trent intercepted for her, as it was about to hit her in the face.

"Thank you, kind blur." She opened the box and pulled out a pair of small wired lenses. "My glasses!"

"Yes, very good, now put them on so we can move on. Team five will consist of Katie, Sadie, Miranda, Blaineley, and Noah!" Chris seemed happier with this team than any of the others. The reactions just making that fact even more evident.

Katie and Sadie squealed in delight, Miranda eventually joining them. Blaineley looked slightly cross, but kept her mouth shut. Noah, on the other hand, screamed like bloody mary. "You have got to be kidding me! You can't put me with them! You cruel, sadistic man! Guantanamo Bay has nothing on you!"

"Thank you," The host chuckled as the group hug enveloped their screaming teammate. "Team six will have Heather, Ethan, Kayla, Diana, and Beth."

"Chrith," Beth whined, "are you thure you want to do that?" She kept looking wearily over at Heather, who also didn't seem so thrilled.

"Don't flatter yourself, farm girl," the queen bee spat, "I'm just about as happy with this team as you, maybe less so."

"Oh, shut the ***censored***up, you ***censored***," Diana snapped.

"Hey now, let this aggression simmer until we get you all on the road, until then, shush it. Now, team seven will be Anna, Gwen, Duncan, Fran, and Sabri-"

A loud shriek cut off the host, coming from Sabrina, who'd thrown her arms around Duncan's torso. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

Chris wore a confused expression. "You're … welcome?"

"Uhm," Gwen muttered, "Could you let go of my boyfriend?"

Sabrina reluctantly let go of the mohawked fiend, but smiled just the same. "I guess so. I'm just really excited to be on your team."

Chris was starting to get a little agitated with the constant loss of his talking time. "The next two teams will be our teams of six. Team eight will be Courtney, Elaine, Owen, Alejandro, Haily, and Lyle."

Owen joyously picked up Haily and Elaine, his grip getting away from him in his excitement. "Alright guys, we are going to have so much fun."

"Owen, dear," Elaine cooed, "could you lighten your grip just a tad? You are squeezing quite hard."

Haily hugged the lovable oaf in return. "Oh, I like it. It's his way of showing he's a man. Keep it up, big guy."

Lyle dashed for the cars. "I call driving!"

"Can he even see over the seats?" Courtney asked.

"Well, we did plan ahead and gave you guys one of those pillows you sit on to see over the steering wheel."

"Well, at least you planned ahead for that."

"Chris," Harold spoke up, "Does this mean that the rest of us are going to be the last team?"

"Well duh"

"Awesome, it's a Team Victory reunion!"

LeShawna turned to face Chris. "You really hate us, don't you? What, we didn't suck enough last season?"

"No, I just know your team was a fan favorite last year, for some reason. So, I decided to put you all together before you all got kicked off. We can't have you losers all leaving before we get a chance to mine you for ratings!"

While most of team victory looked upset by the slight truth of what Chris said, Ezekiel wasn't going to stand for it. "That's what yoo think, eh. This year, Team Victory is going all the way! Right?"

Sadly, he was met by a resounding silence and a murmur from Bridgette.

"Now that there is nothing left to do, you all have ten minutes to get ready and make any confessions about your team that you just need to get off your chest."

"WAIT!" came a booming voice. Said booming voice belonged Jonathon, who calmly had his hand raised for silence. "I'm just curious. How were you able to get all of us on top of a snowy mountain without anybody waking up?"

"Simple, Chef and I just used a small dose of chloroform."

"HA!" Phillip bellowed, pointing at Harold. "You said I was crazy for saying somebody was going to use chloroform on us, but I was right. I'm not crazy!"

* * *

Trunk cam

**Gwen – **She's curled up in a ball to fit in the trunk) I've only known him for a day and we've barely talked, but I can honestly say that boy is crazy. (She looks around her surroundings) I'm going to kill Chris for putting this in here.

***static***

**Katie & Sadie – **(The two of them are crammed in the trunk, Sadie crushing Katie against the side of the trunk.)

**Katie – **Sadie, I think it may be time try to make confessions by ourselves.

**Sadie – **I think you might be right.

***static* **

**Vanessa – **I wonder if Chris would be willing to lend us some of that chloroform, because that's the only way I'm going to be able to handle Izzy.

***static***

**Sabrina – **You know, Chris is old news. I can't believe I ever had any interest in him. Bad boys are where it's at, hubba hubba, especially if they're shirtless.

***static* **

**Courtney – **Chris is lucky Lyle had that hot chocolate with him. If he hadn't, we probably would have all frozen, and we could have sued. I mean, he didn't even bring our normal clothes to change into, so we have to do this challenge in our pajamas. Thank goodness nobody sleeps in the nude.

***static* **

**Haily – **Thank goodness I decided to wear pajamas last night.

***static***

**DJ – **You know, I'm kind of happy Chris put the old team back together. I liked our team from last season. Now I just wish I could find bunny.

***static* **

**Heather – **Why is it that, of all people I get some of the most annoying people in the competition on my team? I mean, I get the cry baby, the cusser, and Beth. Ugh, it's going to take patience to get through this chall- (Suddenly, Heather lurches forward, hitting her head on the lens.) What the, is this thing moving?

* * *

**Team 6 – Heather, Ethan, Kayla, Diana, Beth**

"See, I ***censored* **told you it would work. Just leave the ***censored*** in the trunk and everything will be ok," Diana said, jabbing her thumb at the loud thumping from the back.

Ethan adjusted the rear view mirror to see his swearing teammate. "I don't know," THUMP "I've seen the last few seasons" THUMP "and live in a house full of girls" THUMP "and I know that a pissed off girl, especially" THUMP "Heather is not fun."

"Well, she can ***censored* **deal with it. We'll let the ***censored* **out when we take a potty break."

Kayla yelped, rubbing the small of her back. "I think she just punched the back of the seat."

"YOU FREAKS BETTER LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Heather's muffled voice screamed.

Beth giggled from her spot in the passenger seat. "Ethan'th right, she ith going to be tho mad, but it'th worth it."

The four of them rode on in relative quiet as Ethan made his teams way down the mountainside, the silence only being broken by the occasional rant of Heather or the sound of a car plummeting off the side of the mountain.

"Kayla," Beth said, breaking the silence, "You theem to be doing better today. Are you over your boyfriend."

"Well, it was hard, you know, but I've been trying to get over him. I've been trying not to think about it. How kind and funny he was. How he would hold me when Marley died. How *sniff*he would call me *sniff* beautiful!" With that, the seemingly calm girl broke into hysterics. She leaned across the back seat and put her head on Diana's waiting shoulder.

Diana gave Beth a very serious death glare. "I'm thorry," Beth apologized, "I didn't mean to. I wath just trying to start up a converthation."

"Whatever, you're just lucky I ***censored* **like you, ***censored*.**"

"Is that how you talk to all the people you like?" Ethan asked as he made his way around a pretty sharp turn.

"HEY," Heather screamed, "BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!"

"Yes, yes I do," Diana replied, completely ignoring Heather's complaints. She pet Kayla's hair in comfort as the team traveled in silence again. Well, as silent as it can be with one girl sobbing and another raging in the trunk.

Beth, still feeling bad about making Kayla so upset decided to offer up a bit of advice. "My mom thayth that if you talk about thomething, it'th a lot eathier to get over."

"Beth has a point, so tell us more about this bastard."

"*sniff* ok. We met at a summer camp about two years ago. He *sniff* was a counselor and I was a senior camper. We talked all week, *sniff* got to know each other. *sniff* The night before camp was over, he took me to *sniff* a romantic picnic next to the lake and asked me to be his *sniff* girlfriend." She began to sob, the memory getting to be too much.

"Shh," Diana said, wiping away the tears, "What happened after that?"

"Well, I s-said yes. We were going *sniff* to have a long distance *sniff* relationship, but turns out we both *sniff* live in Toronto. So-"

"Hold up," Diana interrupted, "what was that?"

"We both live in Toronto."

"As in the place that we are heading right now?" Kayla nodded her head feebly, not sure where this was going. "Well ***censored* **Beth's mom's way, we're gonna do this my way. Ethan pull into that gas station up ahead, we need to change drivers and let the ***censored* **out anyway."

Ethan did as he was told. "What exactly is it that you're planning?"

"We're just going to make a little detour before we go cross the finish line. We're gonna ***censored* **this little***censored* *censored* **right up his ***censored*."**

"You really don't have to do this," Kayla pleaded.

"Shh, yes we do. Now hurry the ***censored* **up, we have revenge to extract and a race to win."

* * *

Trunk cam

**Heather –** (She's mumbling to herself) When I get out of here, those losers are so going to- (The hatch to the trunk opens, revealing Ethan.) It's about time! Now help me get out of here!

***static***

**Ethan – **I'm not going to lie, I like my team, They are much better than who I was stuck with last time. I just wish there was some way to convince Heather to get back in the trunk.

***static***

**Beth – **(She's trying to stifle her laughter) It was tho funny. Heather got out of the trunk and fell flat on her face! I'm starting to really like thith theathon. Heather ith thuffering, and I'm on a team with thome pretty cool people. Diana can be really thweet and Kayla theems like a nithe girl. Ethan'th isth really quite though.

***static**

**Kayla – **(She appears to have calmed down from her earlier crying) Diana has me a little worried. After we pulled over, she ran into the store with the money and came back with a bunch of toilet paper and eggs. Now we barely have enough money for gas. At least the cars have good mileage.

***static* **

**Diana – **Oh yeah, that little ***censored* **is going to get what's coming to him.

* * *

Team 2 – Vanessa, Trent, Izzy, Eva, Phillip

"no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," Phillip chanted. "There is no way you are getting me into that machine of destruction. I am severely terrified of riding in a car driven by somebody with less than ten years experience."

Trent tried in earnest to get his teammate into the car, but Phillip was much stronger than he looked. Every time Trent would try to push him into the car, Phillip would push against the door frame.

Vanessa, who had kicked Izzy out of the driver's seat honked the horn. "Trent, would you hurry up and get him in the car? Everybody else has already left!"

"Did you hear all those screeching tires?" Izzy asked, a little too excited. "Wow, they were going fast. If I was driving, I'd burn rubber. We'd have to replace the tires after a couple miles!"

"And that's why you are barely going to drive."

Eva, with the short temper we all know she has, was getting very irritated. After a couple more minutes of waiting she got out of the car. "Get in the car or I'm going to make you."

Phillip was now faced with an odd decision, face his fear of riding in a car driven by a teenager or face his fear of being beaten in the face by a female with a larger muscle mass than him. He, for unknown reasons chose to face the latter. "No"

"What was that?"

"I said no. You can't make me."

That statement sent Eva into a rage. She picked up Phillip and threw him into the backseat, screaming. Before any of her teammates could say anything, she stomped over to her side, tore the door off it's hinges, tossed it aside, and took her seat. "Well," she said, indicating Vanessa's position in the front seat, "go!"

With that, Vanessa floored it with Trent barely making it into the car. The musician buckled up and set Phillip's dazed head into his lap.

"Wow Eva," Izzy cooed, "that was awesome. You went all she-hulk on him. Not in the terribly offensive way, but in the I'm-woman-and-I-kick-butt kind of way."

"Whatever," Eva scoffed.

"Was ripping the door off really that necessary?" Vanessa asked. "You could just open and close it like any normal human being."

"What do you mean by 'normal human being'?" Eva bellowed, straining against her seat belt.

"All I'm saying is that it takes a freak to rip of a car door."

"Oh, I'll show you freak!"

"Guys, calm down, there's no need to fight," Trent begged. He tried to push Eva back in her seat to no avail.

"Aww, don't be such a spoil sport, Trent," Izzy complained. "I kind of wanted to see a nice little cat fight!"

"A cat fight in a car?"

"Uh huh, the added danger makes the fight all the more fun, especially if it was right next to the hole in the guard rail."

Phillip bolted upright, screaming, "NO GUARD RAIL!" He looked out the window (well, where a window was supposed to be) and saw the lack of guard rail as well as the incredibly high drop off the side of the mountain. With that, Phillip collapsed back in Trent's lap. That was bad news for Trent.

"Ooo, right. In. the kiwis."

* * *

Trunk cam

**Eva – **Me and this Vanessa girl are going to have a problem. If she thinks she's going to be able to call me a freak and still have a recognizable face, she doesn't know crap. Though her road rage is rather impressive.

***static* **

**Vanessa – **I was just making a point, trying to help Eva. It's not really my fault she's a bit heavy on the steroids and can't take any advice. Of course, half the time I was giving her advice, I was ramming that car in front of us. That might have had something to do with it.

***static***

**Trent & Phillip – **(The two of them look particularly cramped in the trunk. Phillip's still unconscious) I decided that I should watch over Phillip. The guy seems a little weird, but nobody deserves to be left unconscious, unmonitored, near Izzy. I think she found some matches. (He shudders)

**Phillip – **(He wakes up) CLIFF! (He bolts upright, bangs his head on the spare, and falls unconscious again)

**Trent – **I wonder how many times he's going to do that.

***static* **

**Izzy – **(She's munching away on a bag of Cheetos) I really wanted to drive first, but Vanessa said that I can drive on a nice flat road and go as fast as I can. Hehe, the speedometer says the car can only go a hundred and fifty miles per hour. I plan on proving it wrong.

* * *

Team 1 – Sierra, James, Tyler, CJ, Mr. Coconut

"Would you drive faster?" CJ asked James. The Otaku was seated in the passenger seat beside the intelligent giant, who was driving at a very moderate speed. "There's nothing worse than a slow driver. Well, I guess you could drive like Italy from _Hetalia._ I don't think I could handle that."

"Dude's got a point," Tyler grunted, "you have the car behind us trapped. Izzy won't stop yelling at us in that super creepy granny voice she does."

"I'm driving at the optimal speed for a curvy, snow laden road to ensure maximum safety and speed," James defended. "I don't want to end up like that other car."

"At this rate, I could have wooed, married and been divorced by Cody by the time we get off this mountain," Sierra snapped, using Mr. Coconut as a puppet to agree with her.

"I suppose I could slightly accelerate." The car jolted forward.

"That a way, man," Tyler cheered. The car started continued to gain a dangerous amount of speed. "Ok dude, you don't have to go that fast."

"I haven't even touched the gas pedal!"

"Then what…"

Sierra pointed out the rear window. "Oh my God, look!" Outside, the car behind them was right on their bumper. Literally, the car behind them was actually pushing them along the road. Vanessa had a maniacal gleam in her eye while Izzy was maniacally cackling.

"We have to get them off!" CJ exclaimed, "she's going to run us off the road."

"What do you think we should do?" Tyler asked.

"Maybe we should throw something at her to distract her," Sierra suggested.

CJ decided that was a pretty good idea. The scrawny boy rolled down his window and grabbed the nearest projectile, which just so happened to be a certain Coconut. The Otaku hurtled the fruit at the aggressive car's windshield, cracking it. Other than the crack, the car seemed unfazed. Mr. Coconut bounced off and rolled into the road.

"You should have let me throw it. Me and my super strong fingers would have shattered that window."

"But don't we need Mr. Coconut to drive the car if we want to win the challenge?" James pointed out as he tried to keep the vehicle from plummeting off a cliff.

An 'Oh crap' face etched its way across the faces of Tyler and CJ. "Turn around!" They both screamed.

"I fail to see any possible way to do that, there is a startling lack of room to make a u-turn."

"I bet, if you turned the wheel really fast to the right, you'd do one of those cool circle turn things like in _Fast and Furious_."

"That is highly improbable."

"We don't have another choice!"

James contemplated the thought as Vanessa sped even faster. Their car was beginning to weave out of control. "Oh, alright" The intellect jerked the wheel as far to the right as he could turn it.

The car started to spin wildly out of control. Tyler and Sierra clung to each other, one of them screaming like a girl. (We're going to protect Tyler's dignity by not revealing that it was him … damn it!)

The car behind them began to pull back.

"We're all going to die, and not in a cool _Battle Royal_ kind of way!" CJ screamed, clinging to the armrests of his seat.

After trying to gain control, James slammed on the breaks. The tires screeched, loud and blaring. The stink of burnt rubber filled the air. The car came to a stop. Sadly for team two behind them, they stopped in what would be considered one of the best parallel parking job to ever happen in one of the narrowest portions of the road, a couple inches in between the edge and cliff wall.

James stepped out of the car to assess the circumstance.

Team two pulled up along the road. Vanessa honked the horn. "Get out of the way!"

"You must be new to driving," James yelled, "because from what I can tell, that is somewhat of an impossibility."

"Eva, go move them!"

"Oh now you want me to use my muscle?"

"Yes!"

Eva stepped out of the hole in the side of the car and trudged over to the car.

James noticed the angry nature with which Eva was making her way towards the car, so he got back in the seat and buckled up.

Eva pushed on the back end of the car, turning it in the snow.

"You know, Eva was actually strongly considered to compete on _Canada's Strongest woman?_"Sierra asked. "She turned them down so she could join Total Drama."

Tyler flexed his muscles. "That's cool, I was considered for _Canada's Strongest Man_, but they must have thought I was too strong or something."

CJ chuckled. "Yeah, and Pikachu's a water pokemon."

Eva smashed the driver side mirror on the side of the cliff as she finished moving the car. She signaled for Vanessa to drive through the narrow path between the car and the cliff.

Vanessa tried to stay as close to the other car. So close, in fact, she was scraping the side. A high pitched screeched rang across the mountain side. The contestants all covered their ears. Izzy howled in pain.

After a minute of sheer pain, Vanessa cleared the gap. She then took off, forcing Eva to chase after the car.

The other car was left in terrible shape. The paint was scraped off and both side mirrors were shattered.

"Well that sucked," Tyler grumbled.

"And now our vehicle is facing in the opposite direction," James pointed out.

"Well, I'll drive," Sierra volunteered. "I'm a pretty good backwards driver, and you driving kind of put us in last place."

* * *

Trunk Cam

**James – **(He's very cramped in the confessional) I'm not enthralled with the idea of people insulting my driving. I was just putting the information that I learned in my defensive driving course to good use. A course Vanessa obviously needs to take.

***static* **

**Sierra – **I don't really like all these new kids. I barely know anything about them. That's why I liked last season, I could tell you all the information about the original contestants, right down to their social security number. Which is odd, because we're Canadian, we don't have social security numbers.

***static***

**Tyler – **Why does Chris rarely do a sports challenge? That's where I'm gonna rule! This just sitting in a car thing is boring. Especially since we can't decide on a radio station or find anything to talk about.

***static***

**CJ – **I try to talk to my team, but all they do is make weird faces when I mention any anime. I guess they just don't understand. Maybe I can talk to Tyler about Japanese game shows.

* * *

Team 4 – Jonathon, Yael, Geoff, Harvard, Cody

As one might think, having a party animal at the wheel of a car was not a very good idea. "WHO-HOOOOOOOO!" Geoff screamed with his head sticking out of the window.

"Geoff, could you pull your head inside," Cody begged, trying to pull his teammate in.

"P-please," Harvard added.

Geoff reluctantly did so. "Alright, alright, it's all good dudes."

"Now that you're in the car, why don't you try and floor it? Watching these two freak out is entertaining," Jonathon chuckled, jabbing his thumb at Harvard and Cody.

"How about we don't," Cody gasped.

"It's not that bad," Yael said. The bespectacled girl was relaxing in the front seat, her arms behind her head and her feet on the dashboard.

"G-geoff, maybe w-we should try p-pulling over. I-it's been over five miles."

"Aww, are you sure?"

Harvard nodded, pointing at the electric speedometer. It read that the team had traveled thirteen miles.

"He's right," Cody said. "We did agree that we should get the mandatory driving out of the way. Besides, Jonathon drove to the gas station, so only Yael, me, and Harvard need to drive."

"Fine, but I want to control this baby again," Geoff said as he pulled over.

"You will, just don't count on it to be while we're still on this mountain."

"What kind of mountain has thirteen miles of road circling it?" Jonathon asked.

"Who cares?" Yael asked as she opened her door. Jonathon shrugged.

Geoff got out of the car. The screeching brakes of an approaching vehicle warned him of the coming danger, but it was too late. The side mirror bashed against his chest, knocking him over. The car sped up again, leaving the injured party animal behind.

"God man, not cool," Geoff screamed, clutching his side.

"Are you ok?" Yael asked as she ran around the front of the car. She knelt down beside him and tried to see if there were any serious injuries. "I don't see any blood."

"That was awesome!" Jonathon laughed, clapping his hands.

Cody came rushing over to see what he could do with Harvard close behind. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Yeah," Yael said as she hoisted the party animal on his feet, "Just help me get him in the back seat."

Harvard came and threw his teammates arm over his shoulder. He accidentally bumped up against Geoff's side, causing him to wail in pain.

"S-s-sorry!"

"Be careful," Yael pleaded. "I'm not a doctor, but I'm almost positive that he broke a couple ribs."

"S-sounds s-serious"

Harvard and Yael slowly made their way to the car, barely being missed by another car as it sped by. "These people drive like maniacs." Yael muttered.

"The prospect of a million dollars can do that to a person," Cody replied.

"Yeah, take it from us," Geoff groaned.

Cody opened the door to the back and let Yael gently set Geoff down. She tenderly buckled him in before closing the door.

Cody clapped his hands together. "We should probably get going. We do have a race to win."

"Sh-shouldn't we all t-try to g-get G-geoff to a hospital?"

"Well, once we get to the finish line, Chris can take care of that." Yael said.

"Yeah, like when I was attacked by a bear."

"Well, let's get going."

The three of them got in the car with Yael behind the wheel. They rode for a couple miles in silence until Yael hit a large bump in the road. The bump jolted Geoff, causing him to moan in pain.

"You ok?" Yael asked.

"I'm fine, dudette, just try to keep it smooth, k?"

"Sure that shouldn't be hard enough." Of course, with the universe being the universe, Yael had to eat her words in a matter of seconds. "Oh look, this portion of the road is gravel."

"Excellent," Jonathon giggled.

* * *

Trunk cam

**Jonathon – **To be honest, I don't think I could have asked for a better first portion to the race. I get to watch a car plummet off the side of a mountain then one of my teammates gets hit by a car. I think I'm going to like this show.

***static***

**Harvard – **I f-felt bad for G-geoff, he's nice. And that J-jonathon is really m-mean. Every t-time we hit a r-rock, he'd l-laugh like a hyena. J-j-j-jerk

***static* **

**Cody – **Who was driving that car?

***static***

**Yael – **(She's holding up a flashcard) Geoff wanted me to make a confession for him because getting in here hurts too much. He says 'uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug'… I think it's supposed to be a pained moan.

* * *

Team 5 – Noah, Katie, Sadie, Miranda, Blaineley

Noah has had a pretty crappy life. He's constantly ignored by his family, He's no longer the best at _Battle of Battlecraft._ He's not very much liked by most of the contestants. Even with all of that, he has never truly considered suicide.

That all changed when he was stuck in a car with two screaming girls, and an overly moody woman.

Katie couldn't stop bouncing up and down. "Oh my God, Sadie, can you believe it? We're on the same team!"

Sadie mimicked her friend's hyper active bouncing. "Oh, I know, it's so cool, and we even have Miranda with us."

Their frizzy haired friend was trapped between the two in the back seat. "Yay" she said rather unenthusiastically.

Blaineley sat in the passenger's seat, desperately looking for something. "Where's there window button?"

"The what?" Noah asked.

"The window button, it operates that window I use when my driver smells or thinks he can talk to me."

"This isn't a limo, you have to suffer just like the rest of us, shrieking and all."

"What! Who do you think I am, some kind of normal contestant? I'm famous. I deserve to be treated better."

"I'm sorry to inform you, but you've been knocked down the fame perch to D-list, reality show competitor. Like I said, it's all downhill."

"Aw, that was what you said to us!" Katie and Sadie cooed.

"Actually, he said it to Lindsay," Miranda pointed out, "You two were just there, squealing in excitement."

"Oh yeah, she was in that magazine."

"We were so proud of her!"

The thought of the memory apparently excited the girls, as they began their signature screech. Noah came to the realization that the small enclosure made the screech even louder.

He made a sudden jerk of the wheel, driving it straight for the ridge.

"What are you doing!" the four females all screamed.

"I'm ending this misery, I can't take it. This incessant screaming, I'm ending it."

"Noah, stop," Katie pleaded, "We'll stop screaming, I swear!"

Sadie nodded. "Yeah, like totally"

Noah did nothing to acknowledge the two. Miranda rocked back and forth in her seat.

Blaineley slapped Noah, quite hard in fact, right in the face. The sudden pain and blood from his nose caused the know-it-all to slam on the brakes.

Noah tried his best to stop the bloody nose. "What the hell?"

"What the hell?" Blaineley snapped. "You were trying to kill all of us by driving off a cliff. Not only would you have ruined our chances of winning this race, you were almost responsible for the death of the biggest celebrity to be born in Canada!"

"How would he have kill Justin Bieber?" Miranda asked.

"Not that annoying twerp, ME!"

"Oh"

(On a completely unrelated note: Justin Bieber was vacationing in a small cottage at the base of the mountain that Noah would have easily hit if he had reached the right amount of velocity. So he would have been responsible for the death of two celebrities.)

Katie reached around the seat and rubbed Noah's back. "Noah, are you ok?"

"I'm just peachy," He sputtered, "just a temporary mental breakdown and a possibly broken nose."

"Well, that's good to hear," Sadie giggled, completely missing the sarcasm.

Blaineley impatiently tapped her fingers. "Can we get going?"

"Can't you see Noah's hurt!"

"Maybe I could drive and he can come sit back here with you two," Miranda suggested.

Noah had a serious disagreement with this plan. "No, I refuse."

"Please Noah? We really need to get going."

"Besides, I think it would make Katie really happy," Sadie said with a smirk.

Katie glared at her BFF. "We promise we won't squeal."

"Fine, but let the record show said I strongly objected.

* * *

Trunk cam

**Miranda – **To be honest, I didn't want to drive. I only have my permit. I just really wanted to get away from Katie and Sadie. They seemed to be really cool yesterday, but once we got over talking about _The Time Before Dark_, we don't really have that much else to talk about. I understand Noah's pain.

***static***

**Katie – **This is going to be such a fun challenge! Sadie and I used to take road trips all the time until I crashed her mom's car. It's bringing back so many memories. Maybe I can make some new ones.

***static***

**Blaineley – **Chris must be jealous of me. Why else would he make me do all of these dangerous challenges? He's trying to kill me off so he can take my job. Well, too bad Chris, this celebutante is here to stay.

***static***

**Sadie – **Do I make an awesome wing lady, or what? I'm subtle yet affective.

***static***

**Noah – **(He screams at the sky. Well, the roof of the trunk, but he means to scream at the sky) WHY?

* * *

Team 3 – Rocki, Justin, Vince, Grace, Tony

Rocki loved driving. She loved the freedom of going anywhere she wished, whenever she wished. She enjoyed the rapid thought process required to adequately drive. She loved it because she could do it, and she was good at it.

Too bad her teammates didn't believe her when she said that.

Grace sat wide-eyed in the passenger seat. Tony and Vince clung closely to each other. Justin kept moving, trying to find the best position in which to protect his face.

"Would you guys relax? We're not going to crash, at least not while I'm behind the wheel," Rocki whined.

"Can you blame us?" Vince gasped. "We know what you did to the dock on the island yesterday."

"I was there," Justin whined, "she nearly killed us all!"

Grace covered her eyes with her hands, leaving just enough room to peer through her fingers. "We don't mean to be rude, but you don't really have the best track rec-WATCH THE CURVE!"

Rocki handled the curve with ease, not that it was a very difficult curve in the first place. "I promise you guys, I'm perfectly capable of handling anything the road throws at me."

At that point in time, the universe decided that it wanted to test the girl's bold statement. The car began to swerve, seemingly out of control.

"What are you doing?" Grace gasped.

"It's just a bit of black ice, nothing to worry about."

"BLACK ICE!" the four frightened teams screamed in unison.

"Dear sentient being that blessed me with such a gorgeous face," Justin prayed, "if we do crash, let the damage be done to Tony's side of the car."

"Dear sentient being Justin believes in, ignore him," Tony countered.

Rocki remained as calm as a monk in the event of the crisis. She turned the steering wheel in the direction of the curve, just as her mother had taught her.

The car managed to pass over the black ice safely and soundly. Not even a scratch appeared on the car.

The car and its occupants were all in one piece, much to the occupants' surprise.

Rocki smirked at the stunned silence of her comrades. "See, told I'm an awesome driver."

"I guess," Grace said, trying to calm her breathing, "we were wrong. Sorry."

"Yeah, I guess seeing one car going over the edge kind of just put us all on edge." Vince muttered.

"Now that all that is past us, does anybody have any idea where the heck we're going?"

The three non-driving new contestants looked at the one veteran on the team. Justin shrugged. "I don't know where it is."

"But you spent an entire season in the abandoned film studio," Vince said.

"Well, I didn't really pay attention to how we got there, I was to busy being admired."

"Don't you mean ignored?" Tony murmured. This didn't get by Justin, who glared at the celebrity.

"Well, I guess we'll just stop and get a map," Grace said. "Rocki, pull over into that gas station."

"Okey dokey artichokey"

* * *

Trunk Cam

**Rocki – **I'm a pretty good driver, that was the one thing my mother made sure of. She'd always say, 'Rocki, I know how you are, so before I let you on the highway, unmonitored, in a screaming metal death trap, you're going to be driving better than Hollywood's best stunt driver.' And, well, now I'm somewhat three sevenths of the way there.

***static***

**Grace – **Not bad, not bad at all. Now that I know she is actually worth something, I might be able to have her last longer. It's always best to keep an easily accessible scape goat at all times, and Rocki is the perfect scape goat.

***static***

**Vince – **Why would you have a gas station on the side of a mountain?

***static***

**Tony – **What was with Justin and that whole 'let the car crash on Tony's side' thing? I never really did anything to him

***static***

**Justin – **I don't like Tony. After Total Drama Action, Lindsay and Beth stopped being wooed by my charms. That left Katie and Sadie to be my only admirers, and Tony took them away. I would say I'm not the jealous type, but that would be a total lie.

* * *

Team 9 – Bridgette, LeShawna, Lindsay, DJ, Harold, Ezekiel

"Guys have you seen bunny?"

LeShawna half paid attention to the question posed by her large teammate in the back seat, as she was preoccupied with driving. "I'm sure Chris just left him at the B&B."

"I hope so, I don't know what I'd do without my little buddy."

Ezekiel, who was lying across the laps of Bridgette, DJ, and Harold, was confused. "Why would you keep a rabbit as a pet, eh? There's nothing better than rabbit soup."

"That's a terrible thing to say!" Bridgette gasped.

"You've obviously never had my mom's rabbit soup."

Bridgette went to reply, but stopped herself, unable to come up with an actual response.

Lindsay turned to look at the home schooled boy. "What does rabbit soup taste like? Does it taste like carrots?"

"It tastes like murder," Bridgette muttered. DJ nodded in agreement.

"Actually, it's like chicken, but chewier," Ezekiel corrected.

Lindsay nodded and turned back around. She glanced out the window. Something caught her eye. "Aww, look, it's a cute little bunny."

"Hey DJ," Harold wheezed, "doesn't that look like bunny?"

"What?" The giant tried to look for said animal. To his surprise, Harold was correct. "That is bunny. STOP THE CAR!"

LeShawna hit the brakes, unsure about what was happening. DJ unbuckled and awkwardly climbed over Harold and Ezekiel.

The gentle giant rushed over to his furry little friend. "Bunny, there you are!"

"DJ, get your butt back in here!" LeShawna hollered. DJ ignored her as he rubbed noses with his newly reunited friend. He was so distracted by the adorable ball of fluff in his hands, he didn't notice the car that was racing toward him at high speeds.

The screeching of tires alerted him to the car, but it was too late to jump out of the way. DJ stared like a deer caught in the headlights and Bunny stared like a DJ caught in the headlights.

The car swerved out of the way, just missing DJ and his team's car. It crashed into the guard rail, the weak structure easily giving way to the force of the car. It then plummeted to the base of the mountain, it's occupants screaming for help.

Bridgette bolted out of the car. "Oh my Gosh! Who was that?"

"I don't know," DJ squeaked as he pet Bunny comfortingly. "Everything that just happened was a blur."

"I'm sure they're all okay," Ezekiel said in a not so sure tone.

"That's not even possible," Harold stated. "That drop's got to be close to two thousand feet. Nobody can survive that."

"Maybe they just go lucky, eh."

Bridgette poked her head over the edge of the cliff. "We should really do something."

"Well there's not much we can do on top of this mountain," LeShawna pointed out, "So lets all get in the car and get going."

"My luscious LeShawna's right. Maybe there's something we can do to go help them."

The teammates all agreed. They all got back in the car and drove off down the road.

* * *

Trunk cam

**DJ – **That was probably the scariest moment of my life. My whole whole life flashed before my eyes!... I sure do spend a lot of time with Mama.

***static***

**Bridgette – **How is it that no matter how mundane a challenge for this show is, somebody gets hurt? It makes me really worry about what Chris has planned for later this season.

***static***

**Lindsay – **Sometimes I think everybody doesn't agree with my ideas because their intimidated by how smart they are. Like, I kept suggesting that we take the shortcut that other team took, but they all kept saying no! Can you believe that?

***static***

**Ezekiel – **It's nice to not be the first guy kicked off again, eh. Maybe this season I'll actually be able to win and not fall in a volcanoo! I learned my lesson, doon't say anything sexist and don't lose a stick. Now I just need to get people to start liking me.

***static***

**LeShawna – **My team's hearts are in the right place, but they keep forgetting that we're in a competition. I'd like to go help that team that crashed, but I'd also like to guarantee that there's at least one team that won't be able to cross the finish line before us.

***static***

**Harold – **During my time at Steve's stunt driving summer camp, we learned all about survivable car crashes, and one thing Steve said to never do is drive your car over the side of a mountain. He said it was because you would die, and Steve has never lied to me before.

* * *

Team 8 – Haily, Owen, Elaine, Courtney, Lyle, Alejandro

"Alejandro, slow down!" Courtney demanded as she clutched the oh-crap handle.

"Calm down, mi amiga, I'm simply driving so we can win," Alejandro said. "In case you haven't noticed, we happen to be close to the lead."

Owen popped his head between the front two seats. "But Al, that's just because you slashed that other team's tire."

"And that wasn't very sportsmanlike," Elaine chastised.

"At least I only slashed one, all they have to do is change the tire with the spare."

"Where's Lyle?"Haily asked.

"I could have sworn I saw him around here."

"Maybe Owen sat on him."

The lovable oaf chuckled. "There's no way I could have sat on … the … little guy." Owen's eyes widened. "Sweet mother of sassafras, somebody help him!"

Haily and Elaine pushed their oversized friend, barely moving him forward. Courtney attempted to pull Owen forward from her seat.

Under all the strain, the seat belt snapped in two. It hit Haily in its recoil. "Ow, rope burn, and not the kinky kind!"

Alejandro drove around a curve and hit the brakes. Owen's momentum caused him to lurch forward, revealing Lyle. "Oxygen!" he gasped. Elaine pulled Lyle out from behind Owen in just enough time before the boy fell back in his seat.

Elaine cradled the distraught midget in her arms, rocking him back and forth. "There there, everything's going to be alright."

"So much leather, so little air."

Owen attempted to hug his injured teammate, but only got a hiss. "Hehe, sorry for that, I didn't really notice I was sitting on you."

Courtney turned back around, shaking her head in astonishment. The CIT did happen to notice something peculiar. "Alejandro, what happened to the side mirror?"

"Nothing to worry about, I just think Chris bought us some shoddily built cars and it fell off."

Haily giggled. "No it didn't. You hit that boy a little ways back."

"Oh dear," Elaine gasped "Which boy?"

"You know that one, with the hair and the shirt. Oh, and he had a hat."

"That must have been Geoff!" Courtney exclaimed. "We have to go back!"

"No!" Alejandro snapped. "We're in the lead now, and I'm not going to give that up because a couple of you just happen to care for some of these people."

"Al, Geoff could be hurt!" Owen pointed out.

"Who cares, that just means he's more likely to slow his team down."

"You are quite a terrible person. The right thing to do would be to go back and help the poor boy, or at the very least apologize for hitting him."

"Geez, _Mama'_, what else would you like me to do, make my bed or clean my room?" Alejandro remarked. "We're staying on this road, we're heading straight for the abandoned film studio, and there's nothing you can do about it.

The team sat in silence for a moment.

Elaine stroked Lyle's hair comfortingly as she looked out the window at the view (not that it was much of a view, she had the side that faced the mountain side). Then, a bodily function occurred that was in need of dire attention. "Um Alejandro, we need to pull over at the next possible location."

"I told you, we're not going back!"

"I know, and as deplorable as I find that, it's not why I need you to pull over. I'm having some … issues."

Owen picked up Elaine's arm, checking for any amputations. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh everything is fine. I'm just having my monthly visitor."

Courtney whipped her head back, realizing what her friend was insinuating. "You don't mean…" Elaine nodded. "Alejandro, pull over at the next store."

"And why should I?"

"Because Elaine is having problems."

"Like what?"

"The crimson tide, Eve's punishment"

"Mother nature's gift, the ebb and flow" Elaine added.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh for Christ's sake," Haily moaned, "she's on her period!"

Alejandro, Lyle, and Owen all went silent, the awkwardness of the subject taking over. Lyle climbed over to Haily, trying to get away from Elaine. Alejandro accelerated to very dangerous speeds.

* * *

Trunk Cam

**Elaine – **Oh dear, I'm so embarrassed

***static***

**Alejandro – **I grew up with two brothers and no sisters, how was I supposed to know what those phrases meant?

***static***

**Haily – **I honestly don't see what's wrong with saying it, it's not like we should be ashamed of it. Daddy says I should celebrate my menstruation, because it means I'm not pregnant.

***static***

**Courtney – **I hope Bridgette isn't mad about me not going to help Geoff. I tried, honestly. I hope she believes me when I say Alejandro was being a jerk. One beautiful piece of jerk.

***static***

**Owen – **Al seemed really mad about having to pull over for Elaine. He wouldn't stop complaining about three teams passing us. Hopefully he doesn't conspire against her, she's such a nice girl.

***static***

**Lyle – **There's so much more room in here. I think I might just stay in here.

* * *

Team 7 – Anna, Duncan, Sabrina, Gwen, Fran

The team appeared to be traveling in peace. Gwen drove with one hand and held Duncan's hand with the other. Sabrina would occasionally attempt to grab Duncan's free hand, but the delinquent would always jerk it away. Anna and Fran carried on with a light conversation.

Everything was peachy, until DJ ran out in the road.

Gwen jerked the car, letting out a string of expletives that could rival Diana. Luckily, she missed the gentle Giant. Sadly, she didn't miss the edge of the cliff.

The car fell, every occupant screaming for their lives, not that it did much.

It fell and it fell, until it disappeared into the tree line bellow.

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So, what did you think? I know it's been over a year since I last updated, but I'm back now. (And hopefully my writing has improved)

Again, I know this challenge is practically a rip-off of TKN's challenge, but can you blame me? The man is a genius, and this challenge offers so many possibilities. Looking at my list of challenges, this should be the only one that is like any of his (for now, you never know, we might have similar challenges planned)

Team 1 – Sierra, James, CJ, Tyler, Mr. Coconut  
Team 2 – Vanessa, Trent, Eva, Phillip, Izzy  
Team 3 – Rocki, Tony, Grace, Mike, Justin  
Team 4 – Geoff, Jonathon, Yael, Harvard, Cody  
Team 5 – Katie, Sadie, Blaineley, Miranda, Noah  
Team 6 – Heather, Ethan, Kayla, Diana, Beth  
Team 7 – Anna, Duncan, Fran, Sabrina, Gwen  
Team 8 – Haily, Owen, Elaine, Courtney, Lyle, Alejandro  
Team 9 – LeShawna, DJ, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Harold, Lindsay


End file.
